Adultery

[HisHomeMaker]

Can members please point me to scripture that talks about adultery?

My husband, daughter (14) and I had an interesting conversation about the Bible last night. Hubby stated that whereas there are scriptures that talk about the consequences of a woman committing adultery, that the scriptures aimed at men are absent in the Bible. (He's remembering this from long ago when he studied the Bible. Now he is questioning his faith and used this as an example of why he questions.) The exception is the commandment, "You shall not commit adultery," but he wonders if "adultery", as defined by the Bible was/is really an issue for women and not for men. (By the way, adultery is not an issue in our eight-year marriage, but both of our previous marriages ended for that reason so it is a hot topic for us.)

 

[Rebekka]

Well, if you want to take the commandments that literally, women are allowed to covet their neighbour's husband, or their neighbour, because the 10th commandment does not mention those.

 

[FaithPrevails]

MOD HAT ON

Thread moved from Married Couples to Christian Philosophy & Ethics

MOD HAT OFF​

 

[FaithPrevails]

Leviticus 20:10 - 10 “‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death."

 

[HisHomeMaker]

Thanks Faith.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

Would this apply in marriage and, therefore, adultery?

Matthew 18:21-22: "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"

 

[FaithPrevails]

Would this apply in marriage and, therefore, adultery?

Matthew 18:21-22: "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"

This is such a trick question to me. The answer is yes, IMO, we are called to forgive as many times as we are wronged. BUT, I don't see that as an excuse for one spouse to cheat on another one over and over and expect to continuously be forgiven and expect that there will be no consequences within the marriage for the adulterous behavior.

Forgiveness does not mean that you have to repeatedly subject yourself to harmful/hurtful behaviors.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

This is such a trick question to me.

No trick intended.

 

[FaithPrevails]

I know you didn't mean one. I just meant using that scripture with regards to a topic like adultery.

 

[ittarter]

Would this apply in marriage and, therefore, adultery?

Matthew 18:21-22: "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"

I wish that every divorced person forgives his or her former spouse. Unfortunately, 'tis not the case.

My point: forgiving someone doesn't mean that you can't still divorce someone.

 

[guava]

Maybe you need to pretend to be jealous now and then, so your husband thinks its also an issue for men. You know , fill in for the bible .if he thinks its not doing enough to distinguish men in that area.

Oh, don't bring up Hosea the prophet whatever you do

 

[chingchang]

Can members please point me to scripture that talks about adultery?

My husband, daughter (14) and I had an interesting conversation about the Bible last night. Hubby stated that whereas there are scriptures that talk about the consequences of a woman committing adultery, that the scriptures aimed at men are absent in the Bible. (He's remembering this from long ago when he studied the Bible. Now he is questioning his faith and used this as an example of why he questions.) The exception is the commandment, "You shall not commit adultery," but he wonders if "adultery", as defined by the Bible was/is really an issue for women and not for men. (By the way, adultery is not an issue in our eight-year marriage, but both of our previous marriages ended for that reason so it is a hot topic for us.)

You're getting closer to a Biblical definition vs. the Merriam Webster definition. Actually...men...whether married or not...CAN commit adultery. Men can commit adultery by having sex with a married woman (property of another man). During OT times...men had sex with whomever they wanted as long as the woman was not married (or betrothed) to another. One of the most obvious examples is King David...who had many wives, concubines and slaves. David is known historically for his virility...and likely had sex with all (or most of) his wives, concubines and slaves. God didn't have a problem with that and continued an intimate relationship with David ripe with blessings. It wasn't until David took Bathsheba (married woman...property of another man) that the problems started.

That said...one can use Paul's instruction and Yeshua's commandments to demonstrate that if a man "cheats" on his wife (even with a non-married woman)...that is adultery. At a bare minimum it would violate Yeshua's greatest command.

CC

 

[2PhiloVoid]

No trick intended.

Actually, Jesus said that for a man to even look at a woman [not his wife] lustfully was a form of adultery.

 

[Dionysiou]

Maybe you need to pretend to be jealous now and then, so your husband thinks its also an issue for men. You know , fill in for the bible .if he thinks its not doing enough to distinguish men in that area.

Oh, don't bring up Hosea the prophet whatever you do

lol your a legend!


oh and if your husbands having doubts about his faith and his studied his bible. He will have a lot more issues than just the ones concerning adultery.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

Actually, Jesus said that for a man to even look at a woman [not his wife] lustfully was a form of adultery.

Can you point me to the scripture(s), please? Thanks.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

Oh and if your husbands having doubts about his faith and his studied his bible. He will have a lot more issues than just the ones concerning adultery.

God knows what you do not. My husband has suffered permanent brain damage. His personality and, it seems, his Christian beliefs have changed. We are studying the Bible together. Me for the first time and he again to remember. I would be thankful for patience and prayers in place of sarcasm and judgments from my Christian brothers and sisters. Thank you.

 

[Criada]

Praying for your husband, and for you as you face this with him.

This verse seems to say that adultery is an issue for men:
Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

Criada, thank you for your prayer and the verse.

 

[guava]

You are right. I am very sorry. I apologize if things i have said gave you the impression I was being sarcastic.

Here where I am at when a couple are having challenges what we do is encourage the husband to hang out with older married men and the wife with older married women .let men with a proven record handle men and let women with a proven record handle women. With young couples , they really don't have much of say in running their marriage . the elders have that say. The man is usually the problem. We sort have to teach him how to be a husband . He learns from hanging out with experienced men .that's the school of marriage .

What I am saying maybe it will prove good if you hang out with older couples from your church . surround yourself with good couples who managed to survive the ups and downs and challenges of marriage . don't mind if sometimes they come hard on you . for example , if and when they tell you to deal with it based on the perspective that the marriage itself is the deal and not you or your husband . or also when they say things like that love is duty . I think these things you already know and you do seem to be a good person and good wife . sometimes though you need assurance and you need to see that we are all having to deal with it .

you say that his Christan beliefs might have changed . But you also seem to say you don't know much about the bible and hence Christianity .how did you measure that change? perhaps your husband is doing okay and what is happening he is remembering his ideas from before and that what is needed to be done is that the church works with him on those ideas.

 

[Harry3142]

If people commit adultery on a continual basis, asking for their spouses' forgiveness either after each 'fling' or whenever they are caught, I suspect that the word 'forgiveness' is not the applicable word. In those situations they aren't looking for forgiveness; they're looking for condonement.