Adultery is OUT

[Open Heart]

According to this study, Americans are more open to all kinds of sex, EXCEPT ADULTERY. We have actually become LESS tolerant of adultery.

While people have become significantly more tolerant of premarital sex, adolescent sex and same-sex sexual activity since 1972, it seems people still aren't open-minded about extramarital sex (defined as "sex between a married person and someone other than his/her spouse" by the researchers). In fact, people have actually become less OK with cheating over the years -- 4 percent of respondents said it was acceptable in 1973 (5.9 percent of men and 1.9 percent of women), but only one 1 percent said the same in 2012 (2 percent of men and a mere .6 percent of women).

Americans Are Cool With All Kinds Of Sex, Just Not The Extramarital Kind

 

[quatona]

There must be a lot of hypocrites, then.

 

[Strathos]

Okay... and your point is?

 

[Open Heart]

Okay... and your point is?

Well , don't you think it's remotely interesting that in an age where morality is more and more defined relativistically, and people certainly are ENGAGING in adultery, that it is seen as wrong? IOW, why are people who are cheating still seeing it as wrong in an age that excuses everything as "right for me"???

 

[RDKirk]

The attitude I'm finding among young people is the acceptance of a less permanent arrangement, but a belief in greater fidelity while in that less permanent arrangement.

 

[quatona]

Well , don't you think it's remotely interesting that in an age where morality is more and more defined relativistically, and people certainly are ENGAGING in adultery, that it is seen as wrong?

The best explanation would be that "relativistic morality" doesn´t mean you don´t have a stance (as you seem to assume).

IOW, why are people who are cheating still seeing it as wrong in an age that excuses everything as "right for me"???

Probably because your idea that this "age excuses everything as 'right for me'" is inaccurate. IOW the sky isn´t falling even though your religious convictions made you expect it.

 

[Open Heart]

Probably because your idea that this "age excuses everything as 'right for me'" is inaccurate. IOW the sky isn´t falling even though your religious convictions made you expect it.

You really need to do better than this.

 

[quatona]

You really need to do better than this.

My statement is the most self suggesting explanation for the fact that your expectations based on your interpretations are not met by the facts.
But, if you have a better explanation for this fact, I am all ears.

 

[pakicetus]

Well , don't you think it's remotely interesting that in an age where morality is more and more defined relativistically, and people certainly are ENGAGING in adultery, that it is seen as wrong? IOW, why are people who are cheating still seeing it as wrong in an age that excuses everything as "right for me"???

What you just posted proves that people don't excuse everything as "right for me." If they did, more than 1% of them would be OK with adultery!

A lot of people need to stop thinking America's "moral fabric" is collapsing. I wouldn't be surprised if some part of human nature makes a lot of people think like that in all times and places -- like the idea that young people are ruining everything, which the human race has also believed since the dawn of time.

 

[Cearbhall]

According to this study, Americans are more open to all kinds of sex, EXCEPT ADULTERY. We have actually become LESS tolerant of adultery.

Good. Our cultural norms should be based on consent and mutual respect.

Well , don't you think it's remotely interesting that in an age where morality is more and more defined relativistically, and people certainly are ENGAGING in adultery, that it is seen as wrong? IOW, why are people who are cheating still seeing it as wrong in an age that excuses everything as "right for me"???

Not at all. I think it goes hand in hand with the progressive ideals that I mentioned above. It's also a result of gender equality. The average woman 60 years ago had no way to support her children if she wanted to leave because her husband was cheating, and husbands knew that. Divorce was also less socially acceptable.

 

[Conscious Z]

Well , don't you think it's remotely interesting that in an age where morality is more and more defined relativistically, and people certainly are ENGAGING in adultery, that it is seen as wrong? IOW, why are people who are cheating still seeing it as wrong in an age that excuses everything as "right for me"???

No one actually believes the whole "What is true for you may not be true for me" bit. The only place I've heard that is from Christians who are (incorrectly) trying to characterize the culture. I do not believe that society has taken on a relativistic moral view to any large extent. They may have some epistemic uncertainties regarding morality, but I doubt that many people are suddenly throwing the law of non-contradiction out the window.

 

[Paradoxum]

There must be a lot of hypocrites, then.

If you think something is wrong, but do it anyone, does that make you a hypocrite if you admit what you did was wrong?

Well , don't you think it's remotely interesting that in an age where morality is more and more defined relativistically, and people certainly are ENGAGING in adultery, that it is seen as wrong? IOW, why are people who are cheating still seeing it as wrong in an age that excuses everything as "right for me"???

I don't think people think how you think they think. I suspect most people believe in morality... they just don't believe in your morality.

I also wonder how many people are actually morally relativistic... I suspect not alot.

For example, I think sex outside marriage is fine, but I don't say things like 'it's right for me', as if there's no morality.

 

[Cearbhall]

You really need to do better than this.

You do seem to be misinterpreting the shifts in normative sexual morality. This is why you're surprised by the statistics that you've posted. If you don't understand a certain system of morality, then its societal applications will seem inconsistent. This is not the first thread of its kind that I've seen, where someone is shocked that the sky isn't actually falling. A perspective that is based on a theory of decadence oversimplifies everything.

 

[quatona]

If you think something is wrong, but do it anyone, does that make you a hypocrite if you admit what you did was wrong?

If it doesn´t I used the wrong word.

 

[RDKirk]

If you think something is wrong, but do it anyone, does that make you a hypocrite if you admit what you did was wrong?

No. A hypocrite decries a thing while doing it himself and claiming not to. An alcoholic who says that alcoholism is wrong, warns others not to become alcoholic, but admits that he falls off the wagon now and then is not a hypocrite. His belief that alcoholism is wrong is a truly held belief and he's not making a pretense about his own actions.

 

[Paradoxum]

No. A hypocrite decries a thing while doing it himself and claiming not to. An alcoholic who says that alcoholism is wrong, warns others not to become alcoholic, but admits that he falls off the wagon now and then is not a hypocrite. His belief that alcoholism is wrong is a truly held belief and he's not making a pretense about his own actions.

That's what I thought.

 

[Kristin E]

I'm not for adultery or premarital sex... I guess I'm different.

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

According to this study, Americans are more open to all kinds of sex, EXCEPT ADULTERY. We have actually become LESS tolerant of adultery.
Americans Are Cool With All Kinds Of Sex, Just Not The Extramarital Kind

Have you ever read or heard theory in economics where economists say that while one restaurant may be empty and another restaurant may have a two-hour wait for a table--things are out of equilibrium--markets are always moving towards equilibrium?

Forget about markets for a second. I remember around ten years ago reading a newspaper article that said, if I recall correctly, U.S. teenagers' sexual activity had declined after peaking in the 1980's or some time like that. The pendulum had swung back in the other direction. The explanation/theory given in the article was, if I remember correctly, something like this: American kids had been maturing sexually at an earlier age, culture had finally adjusted to it, and, therefore, the level of teenagers' sexual activity had declined. Biology and culture were back in equilibrium.

The study that you present is more than likely nothing more than biology, culture and environment balancing out. It is not a sign of "progress" or of "moral decay". Human behavior is probably never on a linear path of backwards or forwards in any sense. Environment, biology and/or culture changes, and all of the other variables therefore change.

Social conservatives will tell you that a change in human behavior is a step forward in the wrong direction or a step backward in the right direction. Social liberals will tell you that a change in human behavior is a step forward in the right direction or a step backward in the wrong direction. In reality any change in human behavior is probably none of those four things--it is simply the cyclical, non-linear back and forth swinging of the pendulum.

 

[Eudaimonist]

Well , don't you think it's remotely interesting that in an age where morality is more and more defined relativistically

I don't know of any such trend. I see changing views on morality, but not so much the idea that there is no right or wrong at all.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[Cearbhall]

The study that you present is more than likely nothing more than biology, culture and environment balancing out. It is not a sign of "progress" or of "moral decay". Human behavior is probably never on a linear path of backwards or forwards in any sense. Environment, biology and/or culture changes, and all of the other variables therefore change.

Social conservatives will tell you that a change in human behavior is a step forward in the wrong direction or a step backward in the right direction. Social liberals will tell you that a change in human behavior is a step forward in the right direction or a step backward in the wrong direction. In reality any change in human behavior is probably none of those four things--it is simply the cyclical, non-linear back and forth swinging of the pendulum.

I actually agree with this idea on this particular subject (if I'm understanding you correctly). We're at the point where people who aren't interested in the commitment of marriage can choose not to get married and not miss out on much. They can have sex, have long-term relationships, have children, lead a fulfilling life, and not be social outcasts.