Adulation Adiction???

[gengwall]

I need help putting a label on something. Our daughter called last night and said her boyfriend seems addicted to texting other women and helping them with their various problems. We dug a little deeper. It turns out he has very low self esteem. He seems to "need" the adulation he gets from these women who praise him for "being there" for them. Many say they wish they had a boyfriend like him or a friend like him or a father like him, etc.

As far as we know, there is nothing sexual about his interactions with these women. But our daughter says it is like he is committing emotional adultary. She resents the attention he pays toward them (instead of her) and even more, the adoration they pay toward him. He admits now that it is not normal (he can have days with hundreds of text messages to various women) and that he needs help. But we are short on answers for her because we don't even know what to call this problem.

Anybody know of similar circumstances and what something like this might be called? Anybody know of any resources to help someone with this adminttedly obscure kind of addiction?

 

[Dogperson]

I didn't know this had a name but I think my husband might be afflicted, though the circle of people he "helps" is far, far smaller & not just women but more women than men. I KNOW he has low self-esteem cause his dad never found anything good to say about him in his whole life & now his dad is dead & he will never get the approval he craved from him. He tries to get this approval from others but it is never enough. I hadn't ever seen this side of him til his dad was terminally ill for several years & then passed away. The words he always wanted to hear from him never came. He must be the center of others' attention now, the person they confide in, he involves himself in their problems, etc. til I feel completely pushed to the side.
If your daughter's boyfriend has access to some counseling I would highly recommend it, especially as he realizes this isn't normal. Even though he may not have any sexual relationships with these women, emotional affairs can also turn into physical affairs at some point. If he isn't willing to change/cannot change then he will probably only continue to make her unhappy. I wish both of them the best & that he gets freedom from this issue.