adoption?

[sidnee]

Ok, my question is....is adoption biblical or not? Is it totally wrong? or is it ok in some cases? I've been wondering about this just because it seems like just getting ride of ones responsibility but at the same time in some cases it seems like its the best thing for the child. soooo i'm all confused

 

[kdrmckinney]

Hi Sidnee,

Adoption is a great metaphor for how Christ has come for us -- that we may be adopted into the family of God.

Adoption really is a huge blessing. A family is formed, a child is loved, and the birth parent has the hope that his/her child can have a good life. It may be an abdication of responsibility, but really the welfare of a child is much more important. It may be a very responsible thing to do if the birth parent has limited means or some other barrier to caring for the child.

And, if you are in a position to make this decision, know this...God loves and cares for you. In Christ there is no condemnation. Blessings on you.

Denise M

 

[WarEagle]

Ok, my question is....is adoption biblical or not?

How could giving a child a loving home be Unbiblical? One of the greatest men in the Bible, Moses, was adopted. Jesus was adopted by Joseph. Naomi adopted Ruth.

Is it totally wrong? or is it ok in some cases? I've been wondering about this just because it seems like just getting ride of ones responsibility but at the same time in some cases it seems like its the best thing for the child. soooo i'm all confused

If someone is unable to care for their child, then the most loving thing they can do is to put the child up for adoption so that they can find a good, stable home where they'll be well cared for.

My wife and I have decided that when our younger children are a little older, we'd love to adopt.

 

[snoochface]

Ok, my question is....is adoption biblical or not? Is it totally wrong? or is it ok in some cases? I've been wondering about this just because it seems like just getting ride of ones responsibility but at the same time in some cases it seems like its the best thing for the child. soooo i'm all confused

Why would adoption be wrong at all, much less totally wrong?

Moses' mother, for all intents and purposes, gave him up for adoption to Pharoah's daughter. He turned out pretty good.

There's nothing wrong or non-biblical about adoption. It's giving a child a chance at a good, loving life.

 

[CShephard53]

Ok, my question is....is adoption biblical or not? Is it totally wrong? or is it ok in some cases? I've been wondering about this just because it seems like just getting ride of ones responsibility but at the same time in some cases it seems like its the best thing for the child. soooo i'm all confused

If adoption is wrong, then there's a lot of people who are sinning and it appears to be quite the blessing. There's no problem with it in my mind. Don't see how there would be.

 

[kdrmckinney]

Sidnee,

I've been concerned all evening ... if you need to make a decision about adoption, please talk to a trusted adult. Don't make a decision alone. If there is not anyone you can talk to, you would be welcome to send me a personal message. If I'm totally off my nut, well, then it wouldn't be the first time! God's blessings,

Denise M

 

[footprints1973]

I believe that adoption is absolutely within God's will, and it is one of the greatest gifts that can be given. I believe it benefits all those involved.

I greatly admire those who make the choice to give the gift the adoption (rather than other alternatives), and also admire those who adopt children, partically those children who have health/mental challenges.

Just my two cents
Laura

 

[mina]

i don't see why adoption would be wrong or sinful? As others stated adoption is what God did for us: we are "adopted" into the family of God. I think adoption is a very very good thing. I don't see why God would be against a family welcoming a child in and giving them love who would otherwise be rasied in several different foster homes or abusive and neglectful (even dangerous) situations. If anything I would think God would be all for adoption; He welcomes us in.

 

[pete56]

OK Sidnee

Perhaps you could provide us all with a bit more detail as to what is behind your question.

As folk here have already said 'adoption' as in the act of a couple adopting a child into their family is good and biblically supported in many places, but I note that you show your age as 15 years old and I suspect the question is couched on the basis that you or someone you know is considering putting a child up for adoption.

Now this is the other side of the equation! Here we are considering whether a mother should abandon her child to another, hence your point about abdicating responsibility.

On that side I personally would need to know a lot more about the situation and the ability of the mother to cope with a child.

This is a very complex and emotional issue and you need to get RL advice if it is you or if it is someone you know then they should get RL advice!

I will be praying for this situation.

Pete

 

[Onlythingavailable]

I don't think adoption is inherently wrong or right, it all depends on the circumstances. Moses' mother gave away Moses because it was practically impossible for her to keep him. I think the same applies today. If it rationally makes sense to give up a child for adoption, I don't think it is sin.

If this is a decision you, or someone who is the same age as you, needs to make, I agree with the above posters, seek out real-life advice from a trusted adult.

 

[Solidlyhere]

Jesus, Himself, performed an Adoption.

In the Gospel of John, as Jesus was on the Cross: "He said to His mother, 'Dear woman, here is your son,' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.' From that time on, this disciple took her into his home."

 

[BloodStained]

OK i think you meen abortion, so let me set you straight. Abortion is wrong. I realize that there are situations where the mother's life is at stake, but that is a total of .3% of the reason for abortion. 98% of all abortions is because of the choice of the mother and father to end the babie's life. At 24 days old the baby's heart begins to beat, at 34 days there are brain waves, and if this girl dosen't want to be pragnant then she probobly wont realize she is late for at least that long, so by the time she finds out she is pregnant the baby has a functioning brain and heart beat. Abortion hurts the heart of God. Jesus has a love for children, the bible says that "from the mouth of children and infants my praise is ordained" God loves children and from the poing that the egg and seed join that person has a destany. The church has been ordained to take care of the widow and the orphan. Adoption should never have been placed in the hands of the government. Abortion is always wrong. That child has a destant ordained by God and we have no right to play God and take that destany away from the world.We must pray for the end of abortion, and once abortion becomes illegal the church needs to step up and take care of these children, it is our responsibility to take these children.

 

[pete56]

Hold on Sister!

I don't think the OP mentioned abortion at all, and as far as I can read nobody else has misinterpreted her question in this way.

Maybe you need to rethink your response and edit out the controversial topic stuff?

Pete

 

[pete56]

OK Sidnee,

So can you give us a little more information please?

Is this a RL situation that you or someone you know is facing or is it just a hypothetical question?

If we are talking hypothetically I would have to say that the situation is never as black and white as it appears on first pass. I can see your point about seeming ungrateful towards the gift giver (God) but lets remember that not everyone believes in our great God and His ability to provide for His children, so it could be that God's plan is for some of these children to be passed on to other parents to be raised, simply because the circumstances of the mother's life are too much for her to be able to raise a child.

Raising a child is a very long term and deep commitment and takes all of your emotional, physical and spiritual resources and if any of these are in short supply the end result can prove very detrimental to the child.

So giving up a child may seem ungrateful to God, but if in doing so you release that child to be all that God plans for it then you are clearly acting in the child's best interest and God will turn it to good as He always does!

Bless you

Pete

 

[sidnee]

OK Sidnee,

So can you give us a little more information please?

Is this a RL situation that you or someone you know is facing or is it just a hypothetical question?

If we are talking hypothetically I would have to say that the situation is never as black and white as it appears on first pass. I can see your point about seeming ungrateful towards the gift giver (God) but lets remember that not everyone believes in our great God and His ability to provide for His children, so it could be that God's plan is for some of these children to be passed on to other parents to be raised, simply because the circumstances of the mother's life are too much for her to be able to raise a child.

Raising a child is a very long term and deep commitment and takes all of your emotional, physical and spiritual resources and if any of these are in short supply the end result can prove very detrimental to the child.

So giving up a child may seem ungrateful to God, but if in doing so you release that child to be all that God plans for it then you are clearly acting in the child's best interest and God will turn it to good as He always does!

Bless you

Pete

Ok, so honestly. Does the situation change right and wrong? I've found that most generally the storm always seems much worse when your in the middle of it..so I agree with you there. Now, I suppose I'll stop dodging your question. Yes, Its a rl situation. I'm young and I was stupid. I know this now. At the time I simply bought into the whole "it'll never actually happen to me" thing.
I've known since day one I could call my mother and end up with an abortion no problem but this isnt/wasnt an option to me. My problem now is deciding what to do long term wise. I've always wanted children, but at this point in life well the timing pretty much sucks. That being said, I'm not sure if I could/would ever give up my child. If I knew I were doing the right think I could but I dont honestly know where i stand on the matter. Like i said, it seems like regifting a gift one is given. Very ungrateful. Also, my mother left when I was 7. Decided she didnt want to be married or have a kid anymore so she just left. I never want my child to feel abandoned..not even for a second. I realize I need a rl support system but right now, talking to anyone is a bit hard. I know my dad is going to push for adoption so I'm attempting to have some logical answers before we actually discuss it. Alrighty, so much for keeping all that from public veiw. oh wells

 

[grandmajo]

Sidnee,

This is a tough decision for you to make. I know that there are some here who have made adoption sound like a wonderful rosy picture. I am an adoptee, and I can tell you that it is not always the case. Some of us still feel abandoned, even after being placed with "loving" adoptive parents. I'm 44 years old, and my mother still introduces me as her adopted child, then introduces my sister and brother as her "real" children. I'm an adoption search angel, and I counsel both adoptees and birthmoms who have been traumatized adoption.

The best advice that I can give you is to remember that this decision is yours and only yours to make, with God's guidance. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing what God has told you not to do. Pray about it and let God tell you what is best, not what others think is best for you.

If God leads you to go with adoption, choose a reputable agency, and know all of your legal rights before hand. Some will let you meet with prospective adoptive parents, where you can choose the parents for your child. Many states allow for open adoptions, which will allow you to maintain contact with the child. Feel free to PM me if you wish.

I will pray for you!

 

[snoochface]

It's a different era now than it was 20, 30, 40 years ago. Back then, kids who were adopted often were treated differently than natural-born children. I know SO many people who have adopted children, and not one of them would treat their adopted child any differently than if it were born to them.

All of the parents I know who have adopted children -- and there are many, they've adopted from other countries, they've adopted children they were fostering, and they have adopted grandchildren/nieces/nephews when their parents could not care for them -- every one of them loves that child all the more because they were chosen. They make sure to tell their child how special they are because not only did their birth parents care enough about them to make sure they were well cared for, but they were also specially chosen by their adopted parents. They never introduce them as their "adopted child" but as their son or daughter.

Your age isn't showing now, but I seem to remember when you first posted this thread it was -- and you are very young. You have years and years ahead of you to go to school, have a career if you want one, get married if you want to, have children.... when you are financially and emotionally ready to care for them. Right now, without a lot of help from the adults in your life, it would be a very hard road for both you and the baby.

It most certainly can be done. My step-daughter became pregnant at 15 and had twin boys at 16. She gave up school and her youth to care for them, and she had to (and did) grow up immediately. It was tough for all of them, but those kids are wonderful boys and she did a great job. Now, at age 32, she is having the life she could not have then. She's going back to school to get her degree, and she is in a relationship with a great guy. It was incredibly hard for her to get to where she is now, but she did it.

There's nothing wrong with giving the gift of a child to a loving couple who wants one so badly. So many couples are infertile and cannot have kids of their own. Many couples are willing to allow you to be a presence in the child's life if you want to be - it's called an open adoption. In a private adoption, you can interview the parents, do background checks on them, and decide for yourself who you want to raise your child.

It's not giving back a gift that God gave you. It can be a way to be used by God to give the gift of a child to a couple who wants so badly to have a family and can't through any other means. Remember that God uses everyone and every situation. He may use your situation to give the blessing of a child to someone else.

Big hugs to you. You have a lot going on right now, and I encourage you to pray about your decision before you make it. Be influenced by God more than anyone else, be it us or your family or anyone. And if you would like to talk, please feel free to PM me.

 

[PenelopePitstop2]

Sidnee

this is a tough decision to make and as others have said something that needs some real life support for you to make the decisions you need to make.

There is a ministry called mercy ministries that helps women who are pregnant in similar situations to yours. Some choose to keep their babies, others choose adoption and they help the mums find christian parents who are looking to adopt. Throughout the preganancy there is plenty of support for the ladies and there is no bias at all towards the outcome of whether to keep the baby or give up for adoption.

Adoption may seem like a wrong choice but it can be a very good outcome if it is planned and you have the counselling you need. You need to explore all the options available too for this. My MIL was recently reunited with an older sister no one knew about who was adopted over 6o years ago, it was a very emotional time to find out she had a sister so the outcome long term needs to be carefully considered. Like in 20 years time when you have a family perhaps of your own, how will you/they deal with it all.

Equally keeping the baby may be tough but you may cope better than you think and be glad you made that choice in the long term. It will be hard, but you can do it if you have support from family and friends.

Either option is going to be hard for you which is why you need support and help through this.

Praying that you will make the right decision for you and your baby and that your dad will allow you to make the choice that your heart leads you too and will give you the support you need.

I don't know if you know the Lord, but pray about this. God cares for you and your unborn child.

 

[Jet_A_Jockey]

Ok, my question is....is adoption biblical or not? Is it totally wrong? or is it ok in some cases? I've been wondering about this just because it seems like just getting ride of ones responsibility but at the same time in some cases it seems like its the best thing for the child. soooo i'm all confused

It depends on the situation. If a person believes they are unable to care for their child then it is best to find a more suitable home. One of the best things is to find a close relative who may be willing, but then normal adoption could also be an option. One downside is that there are many children who do not get the chance to live in a stable adoptive family and end up going from foster home to foster home. The other is that if one gives up a child for adoption then they really can't have a relationship with that child anymore since he/she is in a new family and really does not need the added stress of trying to understand why her/his real mother/father did not want her/him anymore.

I was 19 when my first child was born. Up to that point I had never even held a baby before, and had no idea how to take care of one. On top of that I didn't even have a steady job and absolutely no plans whatsoever. I was determined to take care of my responsibilities no matter what the cost, and since I'm stubborn like that I have not stopped yet. Nearly 8 years later I can say that it has been extremely difficult but I do not regret it one bit. No matter which you choose just make sure you learn all the pro's and con's of each of the choices you can make, so you can make an informed decision.

 

[Solidlyhere]

There is nothing in the Bible which bans adopting a child.

So, I would just tell Dad that you are making your OWN mind up on the issue.

About re-gifting a gift . . . It well may be that God has allowed this to happen to you, so you WILL adopt it out.

Unlike a person giving someone else the Fruit-Cake they received ... you have a wonderful gift to give.
Many women CAN'T become pregnant, but desperately want to have a child.

With your history of having Mom leave when you were 7, this puts you at-Risk to repeat her behavior.
So, if you handled it well, then maybe your child will be able to handle it well, if you do like your Mom.
However, if it left a BIG hole in your heart, then consider that your child might grow up with that hole too.

Raising an emotionally healthy child is difficult.
Doing it without a family support system, is MORE difficult.
Doing it with very little money, makes things more agitated.

I am sorry you are in this situation.
I pray for you to have a good Life, in spite of it.

And, after you have this child, I hope that you will use "protection" to avoid having this repeat.