Adoption

[Renton405]

This is another answer to the person who said christians aren't involved in adoption. There are many MANY parents who are waiting to adopt a child and the waiting lists are huge.. If you are considering abortion, adopt instead. Give the child to a wanted couple who will care and love the child..

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kIJD54-AsyU



TESTIMONIALS
"I used to be pro-choice until I saw your billboard. I didn't know a baby had a heartbeat as early as 18-24 days. I'll never say I'm pro-choice again!" (NY)

"I'm sending a photo of my grandchild. You can show others if you wish. It's a small way of saying "thank you" for those billboards. My grandson is here today because my daughter saw those ads and made the decision for life" (Minnesota)

"I had an abortion several years ago. I can't get over the grief I feel. Is there some kind of help for me." (Austin, TX)

 

[sbvera13]

I stand corrected, at least in part. I'd love to see this kind of program on a large enough scale to account for all the unwanted children- this is an excellent start and I encourage pro-lifers to emphasize this attitude instead of "abortion is murder!" and standing on sidewalks with graphic pictures that only make people mad at you. If you (pro-lifers) emphasized this kind of program instead of your rhetoric you would make so much more progress. Kudos to the people that do this.

 

[flicka]

People of all faiths adopt. The problem is you can't solve the abortion dilemma with adoption, which is what people often seem to think.

 

[sbvera13]

By itself, no, adoptions wont solve the problem. The idea is to put a complete social support system in place so adoptions aren't necessary (extreme medical needs excepted). An adoption outreach program would be part of that system, but obviously not all of it. Comprehensive sex education (including STD's and birth control) form an early age (10 or 11), social support of single or underage mothers instead of ridicule of them, education options for pregnant women or mothers so they can continue, medical care for those that cannot afford it... I'm sure there's more I'm not thinking of. Most parts should probably be privately or community run instead of government run, I'm not asking the feds to pass a law and solve all the problems life doesn't work like that. Anyway, if all these things were in place it would eliminate the need for perhaps 70-90% of abortions.

Strangely enough, most conservatives take positions completely opposite to what is necessary, discouraging birth control and sex ed, ostracizing pregnant women out of wedlock. Granted not everyone does, but the movement for abstinence only education for example is getting even more federal funding as we speak. Ironic that the same people that hate abortion are undermining the very things needed to eliminate it.

 

[yasic]

I would just like to say this is just another "American lives are better then Russian or Chinese" ones topic.

My fathers job up till last year (now taking a break from work to settle other life issues) was an international adoption consultant, and while yes the waiting list for an American baby can take as many as 20 years, Russian and Chinese children are in abundance. Only about 10 percent of all good adoptable children over there ever make it into a home...



EDIT: wow I butchered the English language with this post...

 

[Steezie]

Then why do roughly 500,000 children go un-adopted each year in the US? There are FAR more children waiting for adoption than there are parents wanting to adopt.

Yes there are waiting lists...for white, healthy, new-born babies. Its the minority kids and the older kids that dont get adopted. They just get kicked out on the streets when they hit 18

 

[Trevorocity]

Strangely enough, most conservatives take positions completely opposite to what is necessary, discouraging birth control and sex ed, ostracizing pregnant women out of wedlock. Granted not everyone does, but the movement for abstinence only education for example is getting even more federal funding as we speak. Ironic that the same people that hate abortion are undermining the very things needed to eliminate it.

WELL IT WOULD WORK IF REALITY JUST CHANGED SO THAT IT WORKED THAT WAY! *Poe*

 

[Renton405]

By itself, no, adoptions wont solve the problem. The idea is to put a complete social support system in place so adoptions aren't necessary (extreme medical needs excepted). An adoption outreach program would be part of that system, but obviously not all of it. Comprehensive sex education (including STD's and birth control) form an early age (10 or 11), social support of single or underage mothers instead of ridicule of them, education options for pregnant women or mothers so they can continue, medical care for those that cannot afford it... I'm sure there's more I'm not thinking of. Most parts should probably be privately or community run instead of government run, I'm not asking the feds to pass a law and solve all the problems life doesn't work like that. Anyway, if all these things were in place it would eliminate the need for perhaps 70-90% of abortions.

Strangely enough, most conservatives take positions completely opposite to what is necessary, discouraging birth control and sex ed, ostracizing pregnant women out of wedlock. Granted not everyone does, but the movement for abstinence only education for example is getting even more federal funding as we speak. Ironic that the same people that hate abortion are undermining the very things needed to eliminate it.

If parents didn't leave it all up to the public school system to raise their children I can guarantee there would be less out of wedlock pregnancy. Im sad to say it, but parents are becoming very lazy with their children. Ever wonder why homeschooling has become so big now? Parents can keep an eye on their children more and watch what they learn. Teaching them the important of marriage and children after marriage and finding someone who truly loves you....Birth Control is nothing but a bandaid for a deeper problem(not to mention lotsa unwanted pregnancys happen on birth control). Its better to have your child on 24/7 watch than them being pregnant and unhappy..

 

[Renton405]

Then why do roughly 500,000 children go un-adopted each year in the US? There are FAR more children waiting for adoption than there are parents wanting to adopt.

Yes there are waiting lists...for white, healthy, new-born babies. Its the minority kids and the older kids that dont get adopted. They just get kicked out on the streets when they hit 18

thats becoming a myth. The "only white children" argument..In fact many parents are going outside the US to find children because there is such a shortage here in the US and the waiting lists are way too long..

If adoption agencys were given 1/4th the money plannedparenthood gets you would see an enourmous difference..unfortunatly adoption agencys don't make much money for their services and thus they cannot expand the way they would like..And of course the better adoption agencys do the less planned parenthood makes, so they will do anything to prevent people from going to adopt(talking women out of it when they go to their clinics)..

The point is, if a woman wants to adopt. She can do it.. if she aborts she becomes a murderer the rest of her life, which will scar her conscious the rest of her life as well as having to answer to God for it..

 

[Patashu]

thats becoming a myth. The "only white children" argument..In fact many parents are going outside the US to find children because there is such a shortage here in the US and the waiting lists are way too long..

Okay, prove that there are NO children left to adopt in the US.

 

[Steezie]

thats becoming a myth. The "only white children" argument..In fact many parents are going outside the US to find children because there is such a shortage here in the US and the waiting lists are way too long..

If adoption agencys were given 1/4th the money plannedparenthood gets you would see an enourmous difference..unfortunatly adoption agencys don't make much money for their services and thus they cannot expand the way they would like..And of course the better adoption agencys do the less planned parenthood makes, so they will do anything to prevent people from going to adopt(talking women out of it when they go to their clinics)..

The point is, if a woman wants to adopt. She can do it.. if she aborts she becomes a murderer the rest of her life, which will scar her conscious the rest of her life as well as having to answer to God for it..

Ok, little tip, dont pop off about stuff that you have NO idea about. As someone who's worked with children for many years and who's fiancee has taught in LA school district schools, the idea that there is a "shortage" of children to adopt is so far beyond ridiculous that it stuns me to think theres someone out there who seriously thinks its true.

http://statistics.adoption.com/information/adoption-statistics-foster-care-1999.html
"Based on current AFCARS estimates released January 2000, there are approximately 520,000 children currently in foster care in the United States. Of these, 117,000 are eligible for adoption. (US HHS, 2000)"

Age of Children Adopted - 46% were 1-5 years old, 37% were 6-10 years old, 14% were 11-15 years old, 2% were 16-18 years old and 2% were under a year old when adopted from the public welfare system.

Age of Waiting Children on March 31, 1999 - 2% were less than one year old, 35% were 1-5 years, 37% were 6-10 years, 23% were 11-15 years, and 3% were 16-18 years old.

Approximately 64% of children waiting in foster care are of minority background; 32% are White. 51% of all foster children waiting for adoption are Black, 11% are Hispanic, 1% are American Indian, 1% are Asian/Pacific Islander, and 5% are unknown/unable to determine.

The kids that get adopted first are white, healthy, new-born babies. This little fantasy of a shortage of children for adoption is absolutely ludicrous. The waiting lists are for the white, healthy, new-born babies.

Stick to sources, dont rely on your emotional arguments and the fact that most people wont fact check you when you make stupid claims.

 

[Ohioprof]

Hello, all. I am a parent to a child whom I adopted from Guatemala back in 2002. She is about to turn 6 years old.

I considered a variety of adoption options when I chose to adopt. I considered adopting through my state foster care system. There are many children in foster care who are in need of forever families, as Steezie points out. Most were/are not white newborns, and many have physical or psychological problems that are quite serious. I decided not to adopt through the foster care system because I felt that as a single parent, I probably do not have the resources, emotional and otherwise, to do a good job raising a child who has been abused or neglected or who suffers from serious physical disabilities. I have quite a few friends who have been foster parents, and their experiences have been mixed. In some cases, the children have thrived. In other cases, the abuse or neglect suffered by the children has been too great for my friends to handle. Those cases are tragic. I encourage people with the ability to go ahead and adopt through the foster care system, and to adopt an older child or children. I did not feel this was the route for me.

I chose Guatemala for several reasons. The babies there tend to be healthy; women do not often drink or smoke in Guatemala, and babies there rarely suffer from the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome. The babies are often cared for in foster homes paid for by the adoptive parents. This was the case with my daughter. When I adopted from Guatemala, the process was relatively speedy, and there were safeguards built in to protect the rights of the birth mothers and the adoptive parents. The process went well for me, and I have a lovely, delightful, smart, funny, charming daughter today. She is not white, and I make an effort to enable her to befriend children and adults with different skin colors, as well as people with different beliefs and backgrounds.

Intercountry adoption, like domestic private adoption, is usually very expensive. It was in my case. But of course, for us it was worth every penny. We are a wonderful family.

 

[FaithLikeARock]

Then why do roughly 500,000 children go un-adopted each year in the US? There are FAR more children waiting for adoption than there are parents wanting to adopt.

Yes there are waiting lists...for white, healthy, new-born babies. Its the minority kids and the older kids that dont get adopted. They just get kicked out on the streets when they hit 18

No not there are just as many but they're all picky and are adopting for selfish reasons not for the sake of the child they're adopting.

 

[feral]

My aunt recently adopted two little girls she foster parented. She had waited six years on the list of an adoption agency for a baby, and she finally called in to clarify that she was even on the list, because she saw so many children going through the foster system in need of new homes. The contact at the agency had assumed that because she looks Caucasian, she was only interested in a "white" baby. In fact, she's Native American, and was interested in any needy child irregardless of ethnicity. Within two months of making it clear that she was open to any young child, she had three children living in foster care and has since adopted two of them (the third is not eligible for adoption and has parents in rehabilitaton services that she will return to). There are many, many kids up for adoption but the blonde haired, blue eyed ones seem to be the desired ones and the first adopted while ethnic minority children are left to rot in the system. The older the child is, the less chance he or she usually has of adoption as well. Many want newborns or infants, and neglect to adopt children in their later childhood or pre-teen years.

 

[sbvera13]

Birth Control is nothing but a bandaid for a deeper problem(not to mention lotsa unwanted pregnancys happen on birth control). Its better to have your child on 24/7 watch than them being pregnant and unhappy..

This is absolutely, fantastically, and really really REALLY not true. With a cherry on top. My opinion follows, copied from another post.

Young children are far more capable, emotianally and mentally, then any of us old folk give them credit for. I have a blacksmith's forge where I make custom knives as a hobby. I also teach it to Boy Scouts. As a result, I tend to have unfinished knives, tools, and other sharp objects lying around all over my house. When My niece (then 4 years old) would come to visit, she would inevitably pick things up and play with them. Now I had two options: Paranoid Parent (or in this case, Uncle) or Teach The Kid. I gave her a thorough lesson in knife safety, being sure to demonstrate on a block of wood what they can do and let her see how dangerous they can be. Two years later and she has never mishandled a knife to my knowledge. Instead of taking the knife away and living in fear that she might find another one and hurt herself, she instead has a valuable skill that will be useful forever.

My point is that we expect far less from our children then they are capable of, and this includes sexual responsibilty. It is our own attempts to de-sexualize teens that creates these problems in the first place. If we teach them properly and prepare them to understand and handle sexual relationships, they will be equipped to make those choices. Instead, we suppress it and try to prevent it, and the result is uninformed teens ruining their lives because they didn't know how to handle their body's natural reactions. Like the story about knife safety, we can try to stop them and live in fear that they will do it anyway, or we can teach them properly and trust in their well informed judgement.

Suppression and control is not the answer. Education and good parenting is.

 

[Renton405]

This is absolutely, fantastically, and really really REALLY not true. With a cherry on top. My opinion follows, copied from another post.


Suppression and control is not the answer. Education and good parenting is.

That phrase has been going on for decades now .."we need to educate our children"..

If you wanna let your children run buck wild experimenting with everything they find, then fine. But don't start complaining when things happen. Parents are responsible for their children until 18 and thus they have to keep an eye on them..Many many children already know about condoms and "safe sex", but their urges overpower them and they just dive into it without thinking when they have the chance. All the words in the world will not over ride the power of lust.. The same way kids know drugs are bad, but still do them. Its a parenting issue that needs to be addressed..

 

[FaithLikeARock]

That phrase has been going on for decades now .."we need to educate our children"..

If you wanna let your children run buck wild experimenting with everything they find, then fine. But don't start complaining when things happen. Parents are responsible for their children until 18 and thus they have to keep an eye on them..Many many children already know about condoms and "safe sex", but their urges overpower them and they just dive into it without thinking when they have the chance. All the words in the world will not over ride the power of lust.. The same way kids know drugs are bad, but still do them. Its a parenting issue that needs to be addressed..

That's underestimating our youth a bit. Most of my friends and high school did that stuff to SPITE their parents because of peer influence and media. I'm 17. I've just finished high school. I think I know a little bit more than someone who's been out of it for a few years.

 

[Maren]

I have been surprised to learn that my public education experience was rather unique, even three decades ago. The difference between what I learned and what most others did is that I had some teachers that actually attempted to teach critical thinking rather than merely facts. Rather than just rote memorization of dates, facts, and figures, they attempted to teach why these facts, figures, and/or dates were important.

Sadly, I see schools moving away from this. It has gotten worse under Bush with his No Child Left Behind; schools are now teaching the facts and answers needed to pass the test and not even worrying about why those facts are important or why these questions were chosen for the test. That the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776, that 1+1=2, of that you spell word w-o-r-d is meaningless unless you understand why those facts are important and how they relate to our life today.

 

[suzybeezy]

As a mother of two adopted special needs children, adopted through the foster care system, many potential parents are reluctant to get involved in the foster parent/adoption process cause its rough. There's so many hoops that have to be jumped through and there's always the concern that you'll be emotionally invested and the child will be returned to their natural parents. Its a tough road. The US has made progress though. I think it was Clinton who put a limit on how long a child can be in foster care before they're put up for adoption, I think its like a year and a half. So there's far more kids becoming available for adoption in each year, more than ever before.

Ya' know in regards to accepting a child with disabilities, if you gave birth naturally there's no guarantee your child will not have any disabilities. In fact, with autism growing at such a fast pass, there a valid concern any child could have some level of special needs. I never thought I was cut out to handle a child with special needs, but I found I am. When we brought the boys into our homes, we had no clue what "issues" they'd have, but like a good parent, when your child has problems or needs, you rise to the occasion and do what you need to. There's no crystal ball that can predict what "needs" any child will develop as they grow.

Just wish more people gave the foster system and children with disabilities a chance before going outside the US. Those kids are part of our future, shouldn't we invest in them? Cause one day, if they haven't been adopted, they'll be an adult functioning in society here in the US, without the love and care of a parent. How well is that gonna work for us then?

 

[Ohioprof]

As a mother of two adopted special needs children, adopted through the foster care system, many potential parents are reluctant to get involved in the foster parent/adoption process cause its rough. There's so many hoops that have to be jumped through and there's always the concern that you'll be emotionally invested and the child will be returned to their natural parents. Its a tough road. The US has made progress though. I think it was Clinton who put a limit on how long a child can be in foster care before they're put up for adoption, I think its like a year and a half. So there's far more kids becoming available for adoption in each year, more than ever before.

Ya' know in regards to accepting a child with disabilities, if you gave birth naturally there's no guarantee your child will not have any disabilities. In fact, with autism growing at such a fast pass, there a valid concern any child could have some level of special needs. I never thought I was cut out to handle a child with special needs, but I found I am. When we brought the boys into our homes, we had no clue what "issues" they'd have, but like a good parent, when your child has problems or needs, you rise to the occasion and do what you need to. There's no crystal ball that can predict what "needs" any child will develop as they grow.

Just wish more people gave the foster system and children with disabilities a chance before going outside the US. Those kids are part of our future, shouldn't we invest in them? Cause one day, if they haven't been adopted, they'll be an adult functioning in society here in the US, without the love and care of a parent. How well is that gonna work for us then?

I deeply admire your commitment to children, and I applaud you for adopting through the foster care system. I felt 6 years ago that I was not in a position as an older single parent to handle the potential problems that I could foresee doing an adoption through the foster care system. That was just me personally, and I thought this through very carefully. I think it's just as important to adopt children from other countries, because they need homes and parents just as much as children born in this country do. Children are children no matter what country they happen to be born in. So while I agree with you about the importance of people adopting through the foster care system, it's not for everyone, just as adoption itself is not for everyone. And for my daughter, who was born in Guatemala, life is wonderful now, as it is for me. There was no gurarantee when I adopted her that she would not have special needs. I have a dear friend who adopted two boys from Guatemala, and she found that they both have developmental disabilities that were not apparent when she adopted them. Of course she has risen to the occasion to do everything in her power to care for them. So you are right that there are no guarantees about anything.

I think we need to respect the choices that different adoptive parents make, whether they choose to adopt from abroad, or to do a private domestic adoption, or to adopt through the foster care system. And we need to respect the choice of some to be foster parents and not adopt permanently at all. All of these folks benefit children enormously.