addicted to something bad

[lamarcusdlf2]

Hi everyone,

I just joined a couple of days ago and have been
reading through some of everyones posts...I am reminded again of

how similar alot of peoples struggles are...

anyway, just wanted to share my problem as well...

I'm a 30 year old guy, I basically grew up at church my

whole life, until the last year or so I have stopped going.

I have always been severly made fun of about my appearance

especially growing up at school and church (apparently its a kind of medical condition, according to one doctor), which has created very low self esteem and a hidden anger and extreme bitterness towards God...

As expected I have never had a girlfriend either, not even close.

A few of months ago, upon turning 30, I just got so sick of
being alone, I started going to "massage places" for both

friendship and intimacy with young ladies rougly my age.

I was very disgusted at myself initally and prayed about it, but now its just become normal and I don't even feel guilty anymore. In fact, I think I am even falling for one
of the girls and we've talked about meeting outside of work, I think this would be a nail in the coffin to whatever faith I have left. I have been spending $1000-$3000 a week going to these places for the last 3 months.


It seems like I am addicted to this practice with no-one to keep me accountable,
It seems like my only "friends" now are non-christian girls that are selling bodies for money

I feel like I am totally abandoned by God and living in a lost world, just as lost as everyone else.

please pray for me.
thankyou.

 

[Criada]

You are not abandoned by God... he loves you, unconditionally, whatever you do, nothing can stop His loving you.
But you are damaging yourself and your relationship with Him by doing this. . But it isn't normal, and you need to find other ways of connecting with people.
Is there anyone in real life you can turn to for accountability? It's horribly hard to admit these things I know, but it really does help, if you can find someone who cares enough to help and not to judge.

If you need a listening ear, PM me anytime.

 

[the.Sheepdog]

Lamarcus,

Please know that you are just seeking the compassion and tenderness that we all crave inherently. I dont know why you are not able to find that in a good Christian girl, but I do understand the needs. It is more than physical, it is emotional also.

I also understand how you can be drawn and anchored to those girls who are accepting you as you are. But are they really just accepting your money? And will you eventually run out of that money? How will they treat you then?

I certainly dont judge anyone for reaching out in their hurt. God does love you and have a plan for you. You have not jeopardized that plan but may only have delayed it a bit.

God can use anything we can mess up for good fear not. My hope would be that you try to get your feelings of acceptance from Him not someone who really only cares for your money. Unless you are wealthy that cannot be sustained long.

 

[his1]

Lamarcas

I can identify with some of your worries. I too am a 30 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend. I too ( from bullies at school ) think that I do not look like everyine else. I too felt that emptiness you describe.

Jesus loves you unconditonally. Know that and fill yourself up with this knowledge.
The way you are trying to fill yourself up will not- it will only empty you further.
Take heart from the knowledge that God created you by His mighty hand. He made you exaclty how He wanted you. You are the PERFECT person to carry out your part in His grand plan. Noone else in the whole of creation could do your job as well as you can. None of us know our purpose, but God does and He put everything into you that you need to carry out His plan. How great is that?!

In regards to the realtionships that you are fostering. I would strongly suggest that you stop. If there is money involved you will never know if that person is around you for the money or you. I can't see how this course of action can be the best for you. Have you tried joing a community group? Where good things are being done, you will find good people to be friends with. Many of my friends are quite a bit older than me. I engage int he community and try to make a difference. I think this is the direction you should take. It is a road towards God, not away from Him.

I hope you find my thoughts of use. I wish you all the best and my prayers go to you. Just as Criada said, feel free to PM me.

Blessings to you my brother!

 

[Lemmiwinks]

I'd be scared of getting raided by the police.

 

[christianstoic]

Hi everyone,

I just joined a couple of days ago and have been
reading through some of everyones posts...I am reminded again of

how similar alot of peoples struggles are...

anyway, just wanted to share my problem as well...

I'm a 30 year old guy, I basically grew up at church my

whole life, until the last year or so I have stopped going.

I have always been severly made fun of about my appearance

especially growing up at school and church (apparently its a kind of medical condition, according to one doctor), which has created very low self esteem and a hidden anger and extreme bitterness towards God...

As expected I have never had a girlfriend either, not even close.

A few of months ago, upon turning 30, I just got so sick of
being alone, I started going to "massage places" for both

friendship and intimacy with young ladies rougly my age.

I was very disgusted at myself initally and prayed about it, but now its just become normal and I don't even feel guilty anymore. In fact, I think I am even falling for one
of the girls and we've talked about meeting outside of work, I think this would be a nail in the coffin to whatever faith I have left. I have been spending $1000-$3000 a week going to these places for the last 3 months.


It seems like I am addicted to this practice with no-one to keep me accountable,
It seems like my only "friends" now are non-christian girls that are selling bodies for money

I feel like I am totally abandoned by God and living in a lost world, just as lost as everyone else.

please pray for me.
thankyou.

Hey bro, that seems like a lot of money to me, and I believe that it's all being wasted on empty friendships. Think about it for a moment. Would you really want to become married to that kind of a woman?

I think a better, and perhaps at least more economical approach, would be to simply start dating. If you're willing and able to spend that much money at those kind of places, I'm sure you're able to take a nice, pretty lady out and show her a good time in a more Christian place and way.

If over time it turns out you find a lady you can spend the rest of your life with, go ahead, marry her. Then you'll have romance all the days of your life if you made the right choice.

 

[alivebydeath]

First of all, YOU are fearfully and WONDERFULLY MADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And um.. Im not sure that i believe in this worldly psychology. The world just labels you with a disorder (which implies some kind of hopeless aurora) because THE world CANT fix it because they havent accepted an all powerful GOd that can in fact HEAL EVERYONE!! I think that you need to get to the root of what your anger and bitterness towards God is. I think it is causing pain, making you feel alone, and causing you to be stifled in connecting with people. However, as you know this is sin. I know that i have been desensitized to sin before. You just need to keep starving the sin to kill it. God will forgive you. he loves you and even if you dont feel bad about a sin, you need to press forward. It is a choice. dont let your decisions be based on emotions. I hope this helps you.

 

[Jazer]

I have been spending $1000-$3000 a week going to these places for the last 3 months.


It seems like I am addicted to this practice with no-one to keep me accountable,
It seems like my only "friends" now are non-christian girls that are selling bodies for money

You do not need to spend $3000 a week to have friends. Your exactly right though in that it is an addiction. You can do some research, but they say the chemicals in the brain that you stimulate are the same as what are stimulated by drugs.

 

[Saucy]

Those women...they don't love you or care about you. Their 'friendship' is based on money. You should seek love and friendship from people who don't charge money to spend time with them. One of the first steps is going back to church. At least if you're going to put that kind of money to good use, tithe and watch the blessings that pour out from heaven.

Alternatively, you'll create lasting relationships with people who have your back and care about you deeply and your spiritual and physical well-being. You might even meet a lovely young lady there. I'm 27 and never really had a "real" relationship and I'm at the point where I've given up even trying. Life isn't about that stuff. It's fun to have, but it's not why we are here. Don't give up your faith, the only TRUE thing you have to filth and emptiness from people who don't really love you. If you stopped paying them, they would stop pretending to care.

 

[MissCacadu]

Hello!

I agree with the other that you might have an addiction and you might seek for love and such things from the wrong places. I also believe that the real reason for you not having had a girl friend is probably low self-esteem, not the appearance.

I suggest you to stop using sex services, at least in addictive amounts (1000 dollars a week sounds addictive to me). If you have really met a nice woman there, she will continue to meet you even if you don´t pay for it. If she doesn´t she was a fake and you shouldn´t waste your time on her. Being a prostitute and a non-Christian isn´t necessarily a reason to start avoiding somebody.