how do i forgive myself?Sounds like u need to forgive yourself. Gods forgiveness puts sin away as far as East is from West, and puts it into his sea of forgetfulness. He remembers it no more. Stop reminding him. It is not possible to live a sinless life, but it is possible to sin less.
If you are saved it's not your conscience making u feel guilty and ashamed, it's the Holy Spirit inside you along with your conscience. It's the Devil making you doubt your salvation. It's one of the strongest tools he's got. I'm praying for you Want. The only thing u can hit the devil with that won't fly all to pieces is the word of God. Read it or quote it when you start doubting. I sing hymns to myself when doubt comes or temptation. Works for me.
Waiting on Jesus
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