Acceptable physical activity in a relationship

[Stanfi]

I know this topic has been beaten to death on this forum, but I wanted to ask some of the mature people. In a dating relationship, what level of physical activity is acceptable for you. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, french kissing?

I know they say, if it tempts you to go further, then it's to far, but what I am asking if what you have found in your own experience?

 

[Jenster]

I think anything "companionable" has been fine. Holding hands, hugs, affectionate pats, even a quick kiss. The danger usually is when two people do something that leads to the urge to go from vertical to horizontal. (!)

 

[faithopelove]

I agree with Jenster except I only kiss on the cheek. And only after there is a definite connection. What I mean by "definite connection" is that there would have to be enough of an attraction, mutual respect, and beliefs in common to think that it has a good chance of leading to marriage.

 

[country woman]

I think it depends on how long you have known each other. I think hugging and kissing are fine if either of you feel it not going to far. If it is then you should stop it, she will think you are then a gentleman. I have not much expeience in this,I don't go out much

 

[eatenbylocusts]

When my current bf started carressing my face for the first time that was all by itself very, ummm exciting. We french kiss, but I'm highly motivated to keep sex for marriage even though I'm having to be the police in our relationship.

For me the absolute belief that it is for my own good to wait for marriage is what keeps us from having sex. I'm not planning on waiting long though. I expect to know within a few months if we really are suitable for marriage. If we are, then I plan on getting to work on preparing for it within a year.

 

[Stanfi]

So, do most of you feel that french kissing is to much?

 

[faithopelove]

I do because for me it's too stimulating. It may not be for other people.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

So, do most of you feel that french kissing is to much?

No. My imagination can be too much at times. Being alone at his place can be too much.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

I know this topic has been beaten to death on this forum, but I wanted to ask some of the mature people. In a dating relationship, what level of physical activity is acceptable for you. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, french kissing?

I know they say, if it tempts you to go further, then it's to far, but what I am asking if what you have found in your own experience?

I think there is no "standard" because only you know your own personal weaknesses and limitations. I think hugging, kissing (even french), and hand holding is acceptable because those are not a weakness for me or a gateway that would lead to other things. But if you find yourself tempted beyond your control when you show affection in a certain way (ex. kissing) then you should really try to avoid those actions/situations that will cause you two to stumble.

 

[LALaurie]

So, do most of you feel that french kissing is to much?

For me it can very easily lead to other things. It just starts the body wanting other touchs and things. It is a danger zone.

But then certain conversations can do the same thing to me. That is actually how I got in the relationship I am in, it started with simple flirting that turned sexual, now I am stuck with him.

 

[Deliberatetourist]

Everyone is going to be different so no "one size fits all" theory is going to work. I know some people who can french kiss and even grope to some extent and still abstain from going all the way. Some people might get put in to overdrive by a simple kiss on the cheek. Anyone who has had a sexual relationship, and especially with different partners knows that different people resond diffferently to stimuli and will get aroused in different ways and intensities to said stimuli.

 

[LALaurie]

Everyone is going to be different so no "one size fits all" theory is going to work. I know some people who can french kiss and even grope to some extent and still abstain from going all the way. Some people might get put in to overdrive by a simple kiss on the cheek. Anyone who has had a sexual relationship, and especially with different partners knows that different people resond diffferently to stimuli and will get aroused in different ways and intensities to said stimuli.

You are totally correct. I had a friend once all it took was hearing his voice, I would melt. So you are correct there is no one size fits all. I think it would be easier for kissing and grouping if you had never had sex compared to an experienced person.

 

[MargoPego]

You are totally correct. I had a friend once all it took was hearing his voice, I would melt. So you are correct there is no one size fits all. I think it would be easier for kissing and grouping if you had never had sex compared to an experienced person.

French kissing - yes, I think that's going too far. It's a very intimate thing. Mind you, I just don't like it. So maybe it's me, but I've heard of too many people saying that it's led them on to new stages of physical intimacy that were just too much for them. Not that it is for everyone, but every time I've asked for advice on the subject of physical intimacy from long time Christians I really respect & have seen as examples of purity in many areas, they have all told me to abstain from groping or French kissing or kissing anywhere besides the face or hand. For some people holding hands & hugging are too much, & some people don't even kiss at all before they're married, but, for me, that's too restrained.

Yes, I do think for myself, but I have also learned to take the advice of those I respect greatly. These people also know me well & probably see things in me that I don't recognise.

Ultimately it's up to you, but I think that you have to pray & seek God's advice on this. See where He leads you in this & go from there. If you've been all the way before & have since repented, then lean on Him for strength & know that He forgives. Don't live in guilt.

Anyway, I hope that this has shown what my opinion is & that it's clear here.

 

[MargoPego]

You are totally correct. I had a friend once all it took was hearing his voice, I would melt. So you are correct there is no one size fits all. I think it would be easier for kissing and grouping if you had never had sex compared to an experienced person.

French kissing - yes, I think that's going too far. It's a very intimate thing. Mind you, I just don't like it. So maybe it's me, but I've heard of too many people saying that it's led them on to new stages of physical intimacy that were just too much for them. Not that it is for everyone, but every time I've asked for advice on the subject of physical intimacy from long time Christians I really respect & have seen as examples of purity in many areas, they have all told me to abstain from groping or French kissing or kissing anywhere besides the face or hand. For some people holding hands & hugging are too much, & some people don't even kiss at all before they're married, but, for me, that's too restrained.

Yes, I do think for myself, but I have also learned to take the advice of those I respect greatly. These people also know me well & probably see things in me that I don't recognise.

Ultimately it's up to you, but I think that you have to pray & seek God's advice on this. See where He leads you in this & go from there. If you've been all the way before & have since repented, then lean on Him for strength & know that He forgives. Don't live in guilt.

Anyway, I hope that this has shown what my opinion is & that it's clear here. I guess I just don't

 

[MargoPego]

You are totally correct. I had a friend once all it took was hearing his voice, I would melt. So you are correct there is no one size fits all. I think it would be easier for kissing and grouping if you had never had sex compared to an experienced person.

French kissing - yes, I think that's going too far. It's a very intimate thing. Mind you, I just don't like it. So maybe it's me, but I've heard of too many people saying that it's led them on to new stages of physical intimacy that were just too much for them. Not that it is for everyone, but every time I've asked for advice on the subject of physical intimacy from long time Christians I really respect & have seen as examples of purity in many areas, they have all told me to abstain from groping or French kissing or kissing anywhere besides the face or hand. For some people holding hands & hugging are too much, & some people don't even kiss at all before they're married, but, for me, that's too restrained.

Yes, I do think for myself, but I have also learned to take the advice of those I respect greatly. These people also know me well & probably see things in me that I don't recognise.

Ultimately it's up to you, but I think that you have to pray & seek God's advice on this. See where He leads you in this & go from there. If you've been all the way before & have since repented, then lean on Him for strength & know that He forgives. Don't live in guilt.

Anyway, I hope that this has shown what my opinion is & that it's clear here. I guess I just don't really see why there's discussion

 

[MargoPego]

You are totally correct. I had a friend once all it took was hearing his voice, I would melt. So you are correct there is no one size fits all. I think it would be easier for kissing and grouping if you had never had sex compared to an experienced person.

French kissing - yes, I think that's going too far. It's a very intimate thing. Mind you, I just don't like it. So maybe it's me, but I've heard of too many people saying that it's led them on to new stages of physical intimacy that were just too much for them. Not that it is for everyone, but every time I've asked for advice on the subject of physical intimacy from long time Christians I really respect & have seen as examples of purity in many areas, they have all told me to abstain from groping or French kissing or kissing anywhere besides the face or hand. For some people holding hands & hugging are too much, & some people don't even kiss at all before they're married, but, for me, that's too restrained.

Yes, I do think for myself, but I have also learned to take the advice of those I respect greatly. These people also know me well & probably see things in me that I don't recognise.

Ultimately it's up to you, but I think that you have to pray & seek God's advice on this. See where He leads you in this & go from there. If you've been all the way before & have since repented, then lean on Him for strength & know that He forgives. Don't live in guilt.

Anyway, I hope that this has shown what my opinion is & that it's clear here. I guess I just don't really see why there's discussion on this, but then I grew up with hearing that only certain

 

[MargoPego]

You are totally correct. I had a friend once all it took was hearing his voice, I would melt. So you are correct there is no one size fits all. I think it would be easier for kissing and grouping if you had never had sex compared to an experienced person.

French kissing - yes, I think that's going too far. It's a very intimate thing. Mind you, I just don't like it. So maybe it's me, but I've heard of too many people saying that it's led them on to new stages of physical intimacy that were just too much for them. Not that it is for everyone, but every time I've asked for advice on the subject of physical intimacy from long time Christians I really respect & have seen as examples of purity in many areas, they have all told me to abstain from groping or French kissing or kissing anywhere besides the face or hand. For some people holding hands & hugging are too much, & some people don't even kiss at all before they're married, but, for me, that's too restrained.

Yes, I do think for myself, but I have also learned to take the advice of those I respect greatly. These people also know me well & probably see things in me that I don't recognise.

Ultimately it's up to you, but I think that you have to pray & seek God's advice on this. See where He leads you in this & go from there. If you've been all the way before & have since repented, then lean on Him for strength & know that He forgives. Don't live in guilt.

Anyway, I hope that this has shown what my opinion is & that it's clear here. I guess I just don't really see why there's discussion on this, but then I grew up with hearing that only certain acts of affection were acceptable before

 

[MargoPego]

You are totally correct. I had a friend once all it took was hearing his voice, I would melt. So you are correct there is no one size fits all. I think it would be easier for kissing and grouping if you had never had sex compared to an experienced person.

French kissing - yes, I think that's going too far. It's a very intimate thing. Mind you, I just don't like it. So maybe it's me, but I've heard of too many people saying that it's led them on to new stages of physical intimacy that were just too much for them. Not that it is for everyone, but every time I've asked for advice on the subject of physical intimacy from long time Christians I really respect & have seen as examples of purity in many areas, they have all told me to abstain from groping or French kissing or kissing anywhere besides the face or hand. For some people holding hands & hugging are too much, & some people don't even kiss at all before they're married, but, for me, that's too restrained.

Yes, I do think for myself, but I have also learned to take the advice of those I respect greatly. These people also know me well & probably see things in me that I don't recognise.

Ultimately it's up to you, but I think that you have to pray & seek God's advice on this. See where He leads you in this & go from there. If you've been all the way before & have since repented, then lean on Him for strength & know that He forgives. Don't live in guilt.

Anyway, I hope that this has shown what my opinion is & that it's clear here. I guess I just don't really see why there's discussion on this, but then I grew up with hearing that only certain acts of affection were acceptable before marriage, & that anything beyond a certain place was wrong. I still hold to that

 

[MargoPego]

You are totally correct. I had a friend once all it took was hearing his voice, I would melt. So you are correct there is no one size fits all. I think it would be easier for kissing and grouping if you had never had sex compared to an experienced person.

French kissing - yes, I think that's going too far. It's a very intimate thing. Mind you, I just don't like it. So maybe it's me, but I've heard of too many people saying that it's led them on to new stages of physical intimacy that were just too much for them. Not that it is for everyone, but every time I've asked for advice on the subject of physical intimacy from long time Christians I really respect & have seen as examples of purity in many areas, they have all told me to abstain from groping or French kissing or kissing anywhere besides the face or hand. For some people holding hands & hugging are too much, & some people don't even kiss at all before they're married, but, for me, that's too restrained.

Yes, I do think for myself, but I have also learned to take the advice of those I respect greatly. These people also know me well & probably see things in me that I don't recognise.

Ultimately it's up to you, but I think that you have to pray & seek God's advice on this. See where He leads you in this & go from there. If you've been all the way before & have since repented, then lean on Him for strength & know that He forgives. Don't live in guilt.

Anyway, I hope that this has shown what my opinion is & that it's clear here. I guess I just don't really see why there's discussion on this, but then I grew up with hearing that only certain acts of affection were acceptable before marriage, & that anything beyond a certain place was wrong. I still hold to that & am a strong believer in abstinence on any level, except for the most basic.

 

[MargoPego]

I'm sorry! I did not press the "Post Quick Reply" button more than once. How did I end up with so many copies of the same post? I am so sorry for that!