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Abusive relationship

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by John42, Feb 15, 2020.

  1. John42

    John42 New Member

    9
    +3
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    I am a 42-year old male and I'm living with my mother. Several years ago, I moved to the US from Canada to attend law school and worked at two law firms after graduating. I was engaged to marry another lawyer and my mother took it upon herself to break up that engagement. Having moved to my fiance's state, I did not pass the bar exam because of the emotional impact of the break up and the law firm let me go. I exhausted my funds and ultimately had to return to Canada since I did not have a work visa to stay in the US.

    Intending for my time in Canada to be short, I foolishly moved in with my mother. She immediately engaged in a pattern of emotional abuse that made it impossible for me to maintain a normal frame of mind, find a job, and move out. To be frank, although she claims to be a Christian, she engages in a kind of demonic behaviour that can only be attributed to Satan. I am embarrassed to say but several years have passed and I have not worked and her behaviour has continued. Our extended family know her far better than me since they all lived in Canada while I was in the US and the only other potential contacts I have are high school acquaintances. She obstructs everything from the largest things to the smallest. Cooking can't be done because she taints the food. She breaks the laundry machine. She doesn't shower or wash her hair to create a foul environment. She's violent with doors, cupboards, and anything in sight and particularly when I am near her.

    Consequently, rarely have I eaten a solid meal, worn clean laundry, or had a good nights sleep. Obviously I have been looking for work this entire time but she makes it virtually impossible for me to make a positive impression on others and does so intentionally. Presently I am developing some day trading strategies to try and generate income to move out. Frankly, trying to hold a job while living here would be impossible. Her aim has been to isolate me and she has been successful in that. I can't really call a partner at a law firm in the US and even begin to explain the situation when I can't even think straight not to mention the embarrassment.

    I would appreciate any advice. Thanks.
     
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  2. GaveMeJoy

    GaveMeJoy Well-Known Member

    667
    +447
    United States
    Christian
    Divorced
    Hey! Idk what social support or financial aide, low income housing you may be able to access in Canada, but I think you need to do part time work, cut lawns, offer to take peoples trash out, do whatever it takes to save up enough money for a couple months rent and then find a place with a bunch of roommates to try and get away from your mom dude. God will provide for your needs if you work hard and seek him.

    once you physically get away, there has to be a way you can get work as a paralegal or in some lower level even mail room at a legal office with your education level...

    Also, look into classified and help wanted for a live in caregiver for people with disability or elderly. If you can find that you solve both your problems at once.

    It seems like physically being at your moms house is stopping you from growing spiritually and living an adult life. Get out no matter what. Also, look at what you are spending the money you do have on? If you spend literally a dollar on things like alcohol or eating out or anything like that stop and save it to get away.

    you probably feel like you can’t do it, but God can do it. You are more than a conqueror if you are saved
     
  3. createdtoworship

    createdtoworship In the grip of grace

    +1,429
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Well I would recommend getting out of that situation as soon as possible. As far as day trading, there are alot of techniques out there, and a lot of experts. I don't typically listen to any of the hype on social media or news letters or subscriptions on what to buy or sell. But there is a good list of videos that I will message to you, since it's sort of an "advice thing" which can't be posted. But they help you learn to do trending in stocks. I hope this will help Godbless.
     
  4. Ahermit

    Ahermit Active Member

    391
    +157
    Christian
    Married
    Move out.
    Be responsible for your own thoughts and actions; it's the least a person can do for themselves.
     
  5. SkyWriting

    SkyWriting The Librarian Supporter

    +6,088
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    US-Others

    You sound sharp enough to learn about facebook pixels.
    You could be earning enough income to move out in a month
    by helping local businesses gain business where you are at.
     
  6. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

    +5,218
    Christian
    Married
    You need to get free.

    See ... "The Case of the Voodoo Ritual" and "The Case of the Spider Phobia" in the linked text ...

    People of the Lie

    As for day-trading, all of the Tech giants (Apple, Microsoft, Facebook,etc.) are pretty sure bets right now ... though only until it becomes evident that Trump will lose the US presidential race. Amazon is also doing quite well. As a result of the devastations of the coronavirus, certain medical/pharmaceutical investments look good now too (ONTX, GILD, and INO).

    Find something ... at which you can be successful and make it s consistent part of your life. You need to build yourself up at this point in time ... as your mother is seeking to tear and hold you down.

    Could be a hobby, could be some external relationships (friendship, work relationship, etc.). Spend as much time away from your mother as possible, ... preferably in a context that is uplifting to you. Go to the library every day. Become a part of an active church ... where you can be positively motivated ... and a part of good accomplishments.

    Pray to God for strength to break free. Remind Him that He is responsible for showing you a way out. And when He shows you the way, ... take it. You will be able to continue to relate to your mother, ... but only from a distance and a position of strength. You still have time.

    God blessings to you in your struggle. I will be praying for you.
     
  7. John42

    John42 New Member

    9
    +3
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    Thanks everyone for your advice. It really helps a lot. I plan to apply a lot of this.

    Thanks.
     
  8. John42

    John42 New Member

    9
    +3
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    GaveMeJoy,

    Thanks. Great advice! I've literally saved the page so I can go back over it.

    John
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
  9. John42

    John42 New Member

    9
    +3
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    createdtoworship,

    Thanks so much. I'll run searches on Stocks and Commodities mag. Right now using NinjaTrader. Talk soon
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
  10. John42

    John42 New Member

    9
    +3
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    Ahermit,

    Thank you. Yes. I think that will definitely help.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
  11. John42

    John42 New Member

    9
    +3
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    I'll look into this. Thanks. This could really help a lot.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
  12. John42

    John42 New Member

    9
    +3
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    Thanks. I'll start church and the library this week. I've saved the link and I'm going to read it now.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
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