Abuse BY Christians

[elysiumblood]

I'll cut to the chase before I freak out and decide not to talk about this. If I don't get some help, I know I'll let this beat me. It's just so hard to tell someone about this. I've been called a liar so many times by so many people. I don't know why there's this denial out there...

When I was thirteen, two kids of a local pastor beat me up. They hated me. Both of them sort of had this box, this mold Christians had to fit into. I didn't. They saw evil in everything, especially me, and so one day they sort of jumped me. I don't really want to talk about the details, okay? I can't. The whole thing was a nightmare, a terrible nightmare.

They broke my ribs. Three of them. So badly, they had to be removed because they were so fragmented.

And now I can't go to church. Any church scares me. Memories just slam into me and I don't want to even look at one of those places. The pain, the pain reminds me not to go there. Every day it hurts. Everytime I get up I can feel that something's not there. And I think about it and it's like everything inside me gets frozen when I even think about church.

For that matter, I don't even want to be outside. I go to work during the summer, yeah, and school the rest of the year... but I don't go outside unless I have to. It doesn't make much sense, does it? I live in a different place now, fifty miles away. But I feel so scared. What if someone else decides I make a nice looking target? I just can't will myself to go outside.

I just sort of stay inside now. I haven't gone to church in almost three years. I can't. I just, can't.

The worst part is, no one seems to care. No one in the church was ever sorry. Few people even acknowledged who did it. The pastor actually said I had it coming. It was like I didn't matter. I tried a few times online to reach out, find a shoulder to cry on. Instead people started telling me I was lying, making it up, it never happened.

Does no one out there care? Am I totally alone out here? Why won't this fear leave me? I'm so sick of this feeling, but no one will help me through it. Why? All I want is a little compassion, a little help, please. I'm broken. Someone help me understand why this happened. Someone, please, care, just a little...

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Oh, my precious brother in Christ.

"Christians" like that give us all a bad name. I hope you realize that this was only one very seriously misguided congregation, not the whole of Christianity or the teachings of the Lord. I pray you can find another, much more loving and supportive congregation. This was not representative of Christians but of a very perverted parody of Christians.

And I am so deeply sorry you were the victim of this horrible crime.

Praying for you.

 

[goldenviolet]

i have my own story too...

some 'christains' (not saying they are or aren't) think that when they do wrong, it should be forgiven. but forgiveness and accountability are very different. so not only did you not get justice and cheated of comfort; but they just added to their accountability. i'm sorry you got abused; then re-abused by their lies and how others reacted to you. very sad. ~ we validate you and what you've endured. xo love dee

 

[BlessedMommy05]

I am so sorry this has happened. I know how you feel some times certain things feel and seem like a dream when it was real life.. Believe me some times some of the things I went thorugh were dreams and not real,but it was real.. Again, so sorry. I hope you can find a Christian counselor to help you in this pain and sadness and esp trying to get out helps even for a walk or if you have a dog of some sort I am not sure how you would go about that.. Its sad to see people lie all the time and feel justified in lying about things.. I know its hard to be a victiam of actual abuse but the lying is what gets us even worse.. Praying for you..

BM05

 

[rocklife]

elysiumblood, I am sorry to hear how they treated you, that is terrible. and especially from pastor and church people. what a disgrace.

to be honest, I don't get much comfort from church services and church buildings. I get my encouragement from the Bible and prayers mostly. I highly recommend you to do personal Bible studies, bible reading especially if you cannot step foot in a church building (I don't blame you). Jesus was also mistreated by religious leaders, they had him killed. His words in the New Testament are very encouraging for strength to me, maybe you can also find encouragement with Jesus and His teachings.

God bless you, I'm praying for you

 

[cookiebaker]

Elysium,

hello and bless you..I just wanted to let you know that other people do care..it's sad though that someteimes Christians dont earn their title and can be among the meanest people around. I have begun to wonder if those Christians who are so meanspirited really may not BE Christians, you know? Just because someone says the right phrases and goes to youth group or church doesnt necessarily mean they are truly in their soul saved and following Christ.
I might write more later..I am so sorry that happened to you..over time I hope you will heal from the trauma

 

[Johnnz]

Whoops. Wrong thread.

John
NZ

 

[BigToe]

I am so sorry you were hurt. I am sorry you were hurt and people didn't acknowledge your hurt. I'm sorry they made you feel like you don't matter. That was wrong. So wrong on so many levels.

There are bad people in every group. It sounds like you came across a lot of bad people. I'm sorry they've ruined church, and even leaving your house. That isn't fair.

 

[vespasia]

I am so sorry this happened to you.

That kind of thing can put a person off Christ for life.

Been there myself and I still have the scars.

Christians are NOT Christ and Christ is worth getting to know, he understands what it is like to have been beaten and he will understand how you feel.
You can chat to Him any time.

 

[ForAMomentIWillFly]

(hug)

These are the people that disgrace the rest of us.