Abstinence

[anaka]

Hey everyone...
I'm just hoping to speak to some real people stuggling to deal with abstinence... how do you cope and deal with it? A lot of my fiends are having sex.. are other dealing with this at collage or school?

I don't like to try and enforce my views upon other people.... and like to have a wide range of friends who aren't nessasarily religious... but this means having to explain my views which can sometimes seem silly, even though i know they aren't. It also means dating boys that don't share my beliefs, which can be interesting . haha. and awkward. I was hoping hear from some people my age about why you stick to your beliefs and how you manage to do it?

 

[fishstix]

It also means dating boys that don't share my beliefs, which can be interesting . haha. and awkward.

You'll find it much easier to stay strong in your beliefs if you only date people who have similar moral standards to yourself. And yes, they do exist. By dating guys who don't share your views on sex and purity, you're setting yourself up for problems. The Bible says not to be unequally yoked. This is for many reasons, and I think this is one of them.

 

[Kepa]

2Corinthians 6:14

 

[anaka]

2Corinthians 6:14

thanks Kepa and Fishstix. You both make really good (and helpful!) points.

In a way i guess i do make things harder for myself by spending a lot of time with others who don't share my beliefs, but then again I like that I can defy streotypes and suprise people. I think that whilst I woul dlike to meet someone special who shared these beliefs... I also enjoy the challange of being around those that don't. After all... It wasn't easy for Jesus...

On the other hand though, this can leave me feeling isolated... which i guess is why i looked you guys up. Cheers everyone.

 

[Kepa]

There's nothing wrong with hanging around unbelievers, although it can be taxing on your spiritual health. But when it comes to relationships (g/f b/f - marriage), we are called to not be unequally yolked. For what fellowship does light have with darkness?
And there's no need to feel isolated. That's what "church" is for. For fellowship with fellow believers.

 

[Servant991]

Hey guys.
Anaka, being a student at the "number one party school in America" certainly makes my life a bit interesting. Especially since everyone is so fond of drinking/having sex. I can't go an hour without hearing about either. I hate it. As far as abstinence goes, I just look at the lives of my friends who engage in sex regularly. My roommate certainly is a fan of sleeping with as many girls as possible. So he is a prime example of what I try not to be. Seeing all the hurt he causes to these girls and broken relationships he now has makes it easier for me to stay strong. There is a reason God intended sex to be between two married people. As far as dating non-christians goes, I personally am never going to do it again. I dated a girl who didn't share the same beliefs as me, and I allowed it to get me in trouble.

 

[Samuel0310]

Hey everyone...

I don't like to try and enforce my views upon other people.... and like to have a wide range of friends who aren't nessasarily religious... but this means having to explain my views which can sometimes seem silly, even though i know they aren't. It also means dating boys that don't share my beliefs, which can be interesting . haha. and awkward. I was hoping hear from some people my age about why you stick to your beliefs and how you manage to do it?

Well anaka, don't be stressed about enforcing views upon them, coz action speaks louder than words. Jesus himself didn't try very much to enforce his beliefs (or rather who he IS) on the non-believers; he merely stood firm on his ground and invite them to stand beside him and see. And true enough, he's totally irrefutable (not that I'm saying we need, or will, be irrefutable like him).

And for the abstinence part, here's another verse for you:

1 Corinthians 10
13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Or if you want a better reminder...

Hebrews 6
6if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.

 

[horuhe00]

It's easy. Don't date people that don't belive in the same things you hold dear. And sex now would mean many more complications in your life (pregnancy, STDs, buying condoms, the pill, greater emotional pain when you break up, etc.)

Of course, it's easier said than done. But if I, who am the disputed [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] guy alive, can hold it, I 'm sure you can too

 

[Sketcher]

Look up some campus ministries. You don't have to ditch your unsaved friends, but you need some solid Christian friends of both genders to bolster your walk.

 

[Niz]

whenever i would hang out with my non-christian friends i always caught myself falling from christ. I would personally find some christian friends that can help you with you are down

 

[petedaman]

a good thing to think about wen coming across something such as sex (and mates etc)
is to .....

shut your eyes
imagine your friend... now imagine them doing something that you dont agree that they do.
now, do you imagine that they know that you are against the thing that they are doing? do they know that you think that what they are doing is wrong?

if so... and they are your friend that is going to be a major hindrance upon them and their actions.. as they will have a concious memory of your disapproval

just a thought

 

[petedaman]

and it saves you ranting about Jesus to them.. if thats not your scene

 

[lismiles21]

i understand how your feeling..........im 19 years old and have almost no Christian friends and its hard. i mean almost all of my friends conversations revolve around sex. but if i say anything to them they say that im judging them. so i just try to stick to my own beliefs. thats all i tihnk we really can do. Be true to yourself and to God.
it sickens me tho...sex is so friviolous. its like its nothing anymore. walking down the boardwalk alllll you see is shirts about sex and its just like uh whats going on here. i dont know how people can jus do have sex with so many different people ....
my point is... your views arent silly. Being a Christian in todays society means being tested. temptation is everywhere. but God is on your side...you can fight it. and if people act weird because your Christian than they really prolly arent your friends anyways. You need to find people and someone to date who will respect you adn what you stand for.

 

[petedaman]

yeah lismiles.
we cant be too harsh or they come back with that "love the sinner not the sin" whole thing. thers a very fine line and we've got to tread it.

good luck and godbless with that
il pray that u find some christian mates to fellowship with - because you really could do with that.

peace out
godbless

peter