About to toss the towel

[Anygma]

and i feel like such a failure.

been homeschooling last year and kinda burnt out at the end of it, because my son is a hard case for trying to get him to do his work. this year, the workload is heavier and he still drags his heels so much that i often find myself sitting next to him for much longer then he would be in class at school. i finished around 6 pm tonight... he can be hours wasting his time doing absolutely nothing more then wasting time... during that time, i have no time for my 4 years old daughter or to do anything else in the house.

sure there are some better days, but it's a roller coaster and if last year is any indication. it would be a very difficult year to go through. the past week, i've been telling him, that if he doesn't start working better, he's gonna have to go do his work at school. he say he doesn't want to go to school but he doesn't own up to it. i feel that he leaves me with no choice. and i guess i'm gonna call the school principal tomorrow morning.

i had seen one of my aunt 2 weekends ago, she's a retired teacher and she told me he was doing so good and the material i had was advanced enough that i could cut it in half and stretch it over 2 years and still would be doing very well with him... that's what i did and for some odd reason, he takes twice as long to do half as much

sorry for such a long vent, i guess i should mention too that he's autistic and i have chronic fatigue/fibromialgia.

please pray that i find peace in the decision that i have to make. thanks

 

[Michie]

Prayers for you.

Don't feel badly about this situation. He can still be closely monitored even if you don't homeschool.

 

[AMDG]

 

[Anygma]

thanks Michie

i know, he'll have one of the best school in the district. apparently the principal did wonders to turn the school around. and it's a very small school... only 50 students from grade k-8. and he should also get a well trained aid dedicated to him. i still find it difficult because it's something i wanted to do very badly for so long. but i guess i'll see some perks to having more time to do other things and to rebuild my health.

kinda hoping that a few years in school would make him understand that every kids have to study and that i could restart homeschooling after a while.

 

[Michie]

thanks Michie

i know, he'll have one of the best school in the district. apparently the principal did wonders to turn the school around. and it's a very small school... only 50 students from grade k-8. and he should also get a well trained aid dedicated to him. i still find it difficult because it's something i wanted to do very badly for so long. but i guess i'll see some perks to having more time to do other things and to rebuild my health.

kinda hoping that a few years in school would make him understand that every kids have to study and that i could restart homeschooling after a while.

I was thinking the same thing. This could very well be a foundational thing that can open the door to homeschooling in the future.

And this is a small school as you said. He can be closely monitored there as well as at home.

You concentrate on your health. This may be a blessing in disguise for both of you.

My mom has lupus along with your condition. It's nothing to fool around with. Your still a good mom & you can still teach him things you want him to learn as soon as he gets used to the structural aspect of learning.

Prayers for you both & for your peace in this.

 

[Everlasting33]

It sounds like you are a very devoted and loving mother who truly and simply wants happiness and success for her children. And you also want to do the very most/best for them!

In the process, life happens and things become hectic, stressful, tiring, and boring.

Keep the good faith. I will pray that God gives you tremendous strength, peace, clarify of thought, and an encouraged spirit.

Rest in the Lord.

 

[Anygma]

I was thinking the same thing. This could very well be a foundational thing that can open the door to homeschooling in the future.

And this is a small school as you said. He can be closely monitored there as well as at home.

You concentrate on your health. This may be a blessing in disguise for both of you.

My mom has lupus along with your condition. It's nothing to fool around with. Your still a good mom & you can still teach him things you want him to learn as soon as he gets used to the structural aspect of learning.

Prayers for you both & for your peace in this.

uh oh. i just checked about lupus on wiki... heard about it before but didn't really know much about it... there's a pic of a rash on nose and cheek that is suposed to be typical... i think i've had a bit of a start on it this past year... also read about skin lesion possible in the mouth among other things... something i've been noticing for the past 6 months maybe... feel like i have a bunch of corn kernel shells stuck in the back of the throat.

is there an easy diagnostic test on that? or is it as elusive as fibromialgia to prove?

i guess that mean i should make an other appointment with my doc very soon...

 

[Virgil the Roman]

for ya.

 

[benedictaoo]

Anygma, the point of homeschooling is so the kid can go at his own pace.

if he is the challenging unconventional type of student- school is the last place you want him.

He may be only able to do only a few minutes of work at a time. The point with homeschooling is you aren't on a time table, the point is the child learns the work. if it takes him longer, then it takes him longer.

 

[Anygma]

Anygma, the point of homeschooling is so the kid can go at his own pace.

if he is the challenging unconventional type of student- school is the last place you want him.

He may be only able to do only a few minutes of work at a time. The point with homeschooling is you aren't on a time table, the point is the child learns the work. if it takes him longer, then it takes him longer.

i know benedictaoo, but i seen myself sit by him for 2 hours at a time with absolutely nothing accomplished. not that he can't do the work, when he does, he does well... especially when he's hungry... it seem the only time i can make him do his work without fuss is when i tell him he's not to have his meal until it's done and he get hungry... then he work fast, well and without so much supervision even. but i don't think it's right, there must be other ways to get him to want to do his work. without bribes of any kinds he don't work

with the amount of attention he need to keep on task, i can't see how i would have time to start homeschooling my daughter too next year.

the other problem i have, since i live out in the country is, that it's very difficult to enroll him in any activities in town... hubby does shift work and i don't have the car the same day each week and i have some issues with driving myself in town... something about falling asleep at the wheel so, since i started homeschooling, he hasn't seen much other kids at all and socializing is the thing he needs the most practice.

but of course, if things are worst for him in school then at home, i'd take him back...

 

[cobweb]

I understand completely.

I have a 10 year old with Asperger Syndrome and we have a terrible time with homework. He will take 3 hours just to do one fill-in-the blank worksheet. I can't imagine trying to homeschool him. I'm frustrated enough trying to get him to finish all of his homework.

 

[Anygma]

I understand completely.

I have a 10 year old with Asperger Syndrome and we have a terrible time with homework. He will take 3 hours just to do one fill-in-the blank worksheet. I can't imagine trying to homeschool him. I'm frustrated enough trying to get him to finish all of his homework.

i too worry about how homeworks are going to go

 

[PassthePeace1]

I would urge you not to give up! I homeschooled my youngest son, from 1st grade thru 12th...it was a long haul and I understand what you are going thru. I am so grateful now, that I stuck it out. My son is doing great in life, and is now in college.

What curriculum are you using? How old is your son?

 

[Michie]

uh oh. i just checked about lupus on wiki... heard about it before but didn't really know much about it... there's a pic of a rash on nose and cheek that is suposed to be typical... i think i've had a bit of a start on it this past year... also read about skin lesion possible in the mouth among other things... something i've been noticing for the past 6 months maybe... feel like i have a bunch of corn kernel shells stuck in the back of the throat.

is there an easy diagnostic test on that? or is it as elusive as fibromialgia to prove?

i guess that mean i should make an other appointment with my doc very soon...

Yes. I believe they can do some tests. I pray to God you don't have it. It's a horrible disease.

 

[Anygma]

I would urge you not to give up! I homeschooled my youngest son, from 1st grade thru 12th...it was a long haul and I understand what you are going thru. I am so grateful now, that I stuck it out. My son is doing great in life, and is now in college.

What curriculum are you using? How old is your son?

i'd love to, but i'm already burnt out from last year... did your son have learning disability and behavior issues like autism? i'm not saying i'll never homeschool him again. i plan on letting him go to school for 2 years and then trying again... and sending my daughter for kindergarten next year... that way it will give me a full year to build back my energy. and hopefuly by then, my son will have taken some good learning habits and made some friends. hopefully they will also catch chicken pox durring that time. so i don't have to worry about them catching it when they are grown up.

i don't have time to give attention to my daughter because of how much attention he needs to do his work, and i really don't see how i could homeschool my daughter if i don't have more time to give her. in my situation, i might only be able to homeschool my daughter, who knows?

i just talked to the principal and she said within days my son will get someone to evaluate him and he could be in school in a few weeks.

my son is 6 years old. i done first grade french last year and some math too... i used a program from france for his french and i'm using Math U See for Math. this year, i added some English of first grade as first language from Seton even though he doens't quite speak english yet. but i planned to take longer to make him go through it. for now it's very basic and will allow him to build some vocabulary. it's one of the subject he goes through the fastest for now. i do have some science books and a few more things but i rarely ever have time to even pull it out, because he take way too long already with those 3 basics.

 

[toolite]

and i feel like such a failure.

been homeschooling last year and kinda burnt out at the end of it, because my son is a hard case for trying to get him to do his work. this year, the workload is heavier and he still drags his heels so much that i often find myself sitting next to him for much longer then he would be in class at school. i finished around 6 pm tonight... he can be hours wasting his time doing absolutely nothing more then wasting time... during that time, i have no time for my 4 years old daughter or to do anything else in the house.

sure there are some better days, but it's a roller coaster and if last year is any indication. it would be a very difficult year to go through. the past week, i've been telling him, that if he doesn't start working better, he's gonna have to go do his work at school. he say he doesn't want to go to school but he doesn't own up to it. i feel that he leaves me with no choice. and i guess i'm gonna call the school principal tomorrow morning.

i had seen one of my aunt 2 weekends ago, she's a retired teacher and she told me he was doing so good and the material i had was advanced enough that i could cut it in half and stretch it over 2 years and still would be doing very well with him... that's what i did and for some odd reason, he takes twice as long to do half as much

sorry for such a long vent, i guess i should mention too that he's autistic and i have chronic fatigue/fibromialgia.

please pray that i find peace in the decision that i have to make. thanks

Hello,
I know you are a great mother and a mother who cares and it wouldn't be anything you wouldn't do for your children. Glory To God!
Your son is very smart and they will run you into the ground if you let them (lol) I know its hard to laugh about it but, think about it. He has it made and you are over extended. When you get tired of being the one tired and mad and he is stress free living the best life then you will look at the whole picture again. Its good to love but, sometimes we just good people very compassionate but, find a way to put some responsibility back on him. You need a break and your life back to where you can focus on you. Glory To God. I will pray for your situation because I know you are just a good mother that is protecting your child but, learn to trust God with your son. So you can have peace. The peace the enemy doesn't want you to have. Stay Blessed & Rest!

All The Glory Belongs To God!

 

[cobweb]

Depending on what resources are available at your school system and where he is on the spectrum, a more formal school setting might be good. I know my son does much better in a very structured setting.

When he was your son's age he was having a horrible time. He is increadibly smart, but he failed the first grade. He was violent towards other children. Re refused to do any work and would sit under a desk or behind a door all day.

Once I got him diagnosed and into a self-contained special education classroom with a teacher who has her PhD in psychology (her main focus is autism) things became so much easier. He is now in 4th gade and spends most of the school day in a regular classroom doing regular school work. He made A/B Honor Roll last year.

Because of the school he recieved free testing, access to occupational therapy, training in basic social skills, help coping with sensory issues, and most of all ... an environment where he could be around other kids and not feel like a freak for stimming or acting "wierd".

Not all special ed. programs are that nice, but we were lucky.

Good luck.

 

[cobweb]

Anygma, the point of homeschooling is so the kid can go at his own pace.

if he is the challenging unconventional type of student- school is the last place you want him.

He may be only able to do only a few minutes of work at a time. The point with homeschooling is you aren't on a time table, the point is the child learns the work. if it takes him longer, then it takes him longer.

The problem is if her son has an oppositional/defiant component to his autism. If an autistic child is non-compliant.... their "pace" is "I'm not doing this".

I was homeschooled as a child. I would consider it for my neurotypical son. I would only homeschool my spectrum kid if I had no other good option.

 

[Antigone]

There is nothing wrong with admitting you can't cope. Sometimes things don't go the way you'd planned; the wisest thing you can do is accept this and try to find a different solution.

If you do want to keep homeschooling, perhaps you should look into a different way of learning. Some kids fare better with a more practical approach. Take biology classes outside, practice English writing by actually sending letters and e-mails to actual recipients. Work with different materials. Give him a say in what to do and when to do it; freedom, up to a certain point, is a great motivator. The possibilities are endless. One of the advantages of homeschooling is that you have the freedom to figure this out.

 

[PassthePeace1]

i'd love to, but i'm already burnt out from last year... did your son have learning disability and behavior issues like autism? i'm not saying i'll never homeschool him again. i plan on letting him go to school for 2 years and then trying again... and sending my daughter for kindergarten next year... that way it will give me a full year to build back my energy. and hopefuly by then, my son will have taken some good learning habits and made some friends. hopefully they will also catch chicken pox durring that time. so i don't have to worry about them catching it when they are grown up.

i don't have time to give attention to my daughter because of how much attention he needs to do his work, and i really don't see how i could homeschool my daughter if i don't have more time to give her. in my situation, i might only be able to homeschool my daughter, who knows?

i just talked to the principal and she said within days my son will get someone to evaluate him and he could be in school in a few weeks.

my son is 6 years old. i done first grade french last year and some math too... i used a program from france for his french and i'm using Math U See for Math. this year, i added some English of first grade as first language from Seton even though he doens't quite speak english yet. but i planned to take longer to make him go through it. for now it's very basic and will allow him to build some vocabulary. it's one of the subject he goes through the fastest for now. i do have some science books and a few more things but i rarely ever have time to even pull it out, because he take way too long already with those 3 basics.

Yes, my son is severly dyslexic, he didn't learn to read until he was in the 6th grade, I was literally at his side all day trying to help him pronounce words. I was at my wits end, and feeling like I had totally failed my son. At the end of the 5th year, I was praying in desperation on what to do....in my mind's ear, I heard a voice say...."Lay aside the curriculum for one year, and just have him read books of his choice". So that is what we did, for each subject matter I let him pick out a book from the library that was related to that subject matter, with the exception of math...hard to read about math..

It was well into April of that 6th year, and he still wasn't reading....I was thinking my gosh, it must have been my imagination I listened to...and really wasn't from God. Then on a Monday morning toward the end of April, he just started reading...., and I swear to you, on the Friday before he was reading at about a kindergarten level. I was so shocked, I said.."Sawyer, your reading!!!" He said back with equal surprise, "Momma, I know...something just clicked in my brain" By the end at May he was reading on the same grade level of the other kids his age.

In the end, you just have to do what you feel is best for your family....every family needs are different. I hope it works out for your son at public school, and that it is able to fill his needs.