About this clothes issue....

[beetlequeendiva]

If you remember about a week ago I posted that I had complaints about what I wore to school - so I have changed it. Now there is this guy in school who EVERY day comes up to me to check what I'm wearing - I'm gonna get mad at him!!! How do I deal with it?

 

[lunalinda]

EDIT: If he's an authority figure, you can politely ask that he not be so involved in your affairs. You've respected them enough to dress more appropriately, so the least they can do is respect you enough to give you your space.

But if he's NOT authority....

Well, I dunno if it's very Christianly, but if it were me, I would just spew. "Look man, you don't see ME going to YOU and seeing what you're doing in YOUR life, do you? So I suggest you mind your business and leave me be. I'm not here to please you or any other person, and I don't have to answer to anyone but God and my parents. YOU don't look like either one of them. So just...MOVE ALONG and find something better to do with your time."

But that's just me. And that's probably a bit nicer than I would really say it. I'm probably more likely to be like, "What the heck is it NOW, huh? Am I not WALKING properly either? GO AWAY." Hmm...that's too nice too. Oh blah. I dunno heh. But I wouldn't want to be nice about it.

 

[justasinner]

I AGREE with LunaLinda.

EDIT: If he's an authority figure, you can politely ask that he not be so involved in your affairs. You've respected them enough to dress more appropriately, so the least they can do is respect you enough to give you your space.

If this guy is apart of the school admin. then tell him in a nice way to back off. That you are complying with the school policies on the dress code. And if he does not that you may consider his action as harassment and you may need to take steps to stop his conduct.

But if he's NOT authority....

Well, I dunno if it's very Christianly, but if it were me, I would just spew. "Look man, you don't see ME going to YOU and seeing what you're doing in YOUR life, do you? So I suggest you mind your business and leave me be. I'm not here to please you or any other person, and I don't have to answer to anyone but God and my parents. YOU don't look like either one of them. So just...MOVE ALONG and find something better to do with your time."

But that's just me. And that's probably a bit nicer than I would really say it. I'm probably more likely to be like, "What the heck is it NOW, huh? Am I not WALKING properly either? GO AWAY." Hmm...that's too nice too. Oh blah. I dunno heh. But I wouldn't want to be nice about it.

If he is another student then,
I would tell him point blank to "BACK OFF". That his action shows that he is lusting after you and it is "His Problem Not Your" and that he need to get control of his motives instead of trying to control yours.

Please note: If a person or persons are lusting after you for what ever reason it is not your fault. It is the person that is lusting fault that their can not control their desires or have not given those desires to God. Now, in both post, it sound like the guys want to change the rules instead of complying with God and his teaching. It kind of like blame the other persons instead of thyself for their failings.

 

[jenn82]

I missed the other post. So I don't know what the problem was with the way you were dressing. May I ask what type of school you are going to?

From what you said, I agree for the most part with what was said. Authority figure, respect. If you can ask why he still feels that he needs to check up on you. Non-authority figure, again I would try to ask why he feels that he needs to check up on you and if his reason isn't valid, tell him to back off! You could also ask if there is still something about the way you are dressing that is bothering him?

I don't know if this helps but I will be praying for you.

Jenn

 

[chanis]

dude I would talk to the guy...if he's admin then let him know that the issue has been dealt with and that if there are any further concerns to let you know and you'll discuss them with him and other admin/faculty...
now if it's some random dude I'd tell him that he needs to mind his own business and step off...Lord knows I would...

 

[JPPT1974]

If you remember about a week ago I posted that I had complaints about what I wore to school - so I have changed it. Now there is this guy in school who EVERY day comes up to me to check what I'm wearing - I'm gonna get mad at him!!! How do I deal with it?

Well just ask him to stop harrassing you a lot and not to come up to you or else you will go to the principal. But be polite about it as well as firm at the same time!!

 

[beetlequeendiva]

This guy is another student - it's really hard to be in a school with all guys because they are like that!!! i would rather not have to see the director about it but it's really getting annoying. I mean first off i was like i can wear what i want, i can see their point to an extent though and i am wearing what they class as more sensible clothing!!! Now everyday he comments on what i'm wearing - yesterday he's said i'm glad to see you're wearing more sensible clothes!!! i was like it's nothing to do with you stop judging me..... it's really annoying because he is judging me on what i wear!!!

 

[jenn82]

May I ask where you're going to school?

 

[invisiblebabe]

Tell him that it's always nice to see someone act like a Pharisee.

 

[Tenorvoice]

I am with Jenn on this one....WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL IS IT?????

 

[makkulu]

Tell him that it's always nice to see someone act like a Pharisee.

lolol and great idea. And it sounds like he is paying you unwanted attention and being the "clothes police" as an excuse to do that. Definitely tell him you don't consider it appropriate and to back off. Don't give him room to read anything into your conversations..... he is being pretty presumptious commenting on your clothes every day. That is wierd, esp from a fellow student. Don't take it.

Makk

 

[beetlequeendiva]

Sorry guys - i'm at the British Bible School, so obviously how I dress is of importance but he is putting WAY too much in to that - like Makk said he's being the clothes police and I don't understand why..... the only reason I can think is that he still has feelings which is really bad because he is dating somebody else!!! Anyways we shall see.....

 

[jenn82]

Okay, if you are at a Bible School I can understand the concern about how you are dressing. I would as kindly as you can let him know to leave you alone. Ask him that if something you are wearing is stumbling him to find a better way to tell you than to just be mean and obsessive about it. I'll be praying for you!

 

[JPPT1974]

Hey I have been known as a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal and will only dress fancy if it's for church or like a wedding or funeral.

 

[boilerblues]

I would respectfully tell him that it is not his place to be the judge of what you are wearing. If he has a lust problem that's something he needs to deal with in his heart, not by telling you what you can and can't wear. He needs to back off.

He is probably struggling with lust and is looking to place the blame for it anywhere but himself. You just happened to be a target that he could approach, other women would have slapped him. You need to be gentle and respectful, but also very firm.