So we've been together for about a year and a half, and we're getting married in less than three weeks. We have struggled on and off throughout that time with fornication. To be explicit, no, we haven't done it, but we've crossed other lines. Then a couple of nights ago, we nearly stuffed up again but we didn't, then last night we did. We have lost count of how many times we have screwed up. No amount of conviction and moral knowledge seems to be enough to make us not do it. I will say that we have grown and matured through this time, but i'm just so so so sick of the game we play and i'm so sick of it being wrong. WHY WHY WHY!!?? Why does no one talk about this stuff openly at church? Why can't they cover this in marriage courses? Why is there no accountability system with other couples? Why do we make choices that we know are wrong?
The problem isn't that you're weak, but that you're trying to live according to a commandment, according to the letter, as Paul said. The way you're trying to do it will never work. Not now, not later. Because you're not living in grace, you're not depending on God, but rather trying to act according to some moral standard.
The problem is that the commandment is the power of sin. Tell someone that they must absolutely not, under any circumstance, push the big red button. What do you think will be on their minds? Pushing the button. Tell a kid (try this at home, it's actually quite amusing) that he must NOT look in a particular cupboard. Of all the cupboards in the house, guess which one he won't be able to stay out of? Tell Israel not to have other gods. What will they do? Build a golden calf. Tell Paul not to covet. Will it make him not covet? No, sin will take advantage of the commandment and produce in him "every covetous desire". Tell Adam and Eve that the only thing they
can't do is to eat from a certain tree. Which tree could the serpent tempt them with?
Do you see what's happening? The commandment is still the power of sin. The commandment is good, as are your intentions, but it doens't help you, does it? Trying to live according to commandments simply doesn't work.
You need to climb out of the law tree and stop eating that forbidden fruit. It only makes you tempted by sin, and then exposes your nudity. The commandment looks so good that people tend to gaze on it. And you know what happens when you gaze on the commandment? You don't gaze on Jesus. And what happens when you don't gaze on Jesus? You sink. But when you DO gaze on Jesus, you will conquer everything.
Get down from the law tree and up in the grace tree. Your freedom lies in realizing that you're FREE from the law, you're FREE from condemnation, you're FREE from guilt. There IS no condemnation for you. Period.
