This kind of total control is counterproductive and only leads to further abuse. Abuse does not get better on it's own, it only worsens. I had to go through years of hell. I learned early my husband had no respect for women at all, and when I met his mother I understood why. It started with the usuall trying to dominate me in every aspect of my life,--I refuse to be thus dominated. It escalated to where we got physical. I will not tolerate being physically abused. I was backed into a corner and if you do that, I come out swinging. I decided if he would not respect me, he would learn to respect my right fist----he did. I sent him to jail several times, he had anger management classes. Little by little he learned I would not tolerate his behavior and he backed off. The classes did help as he could see himself in others--they all talked the same, it was always the woman's fault. He had one redeeming feature, he did not want to have a war zone for a home and he did learn--slowly, but he learned. And he decided that it was much nicer to live in a home where we had fun, love, laughter and kindness without yelling and screaming at each other. At times I had to ask forgiveness from him for loosing my temper and lashing out, even though he deserved it, I was still wrong to behave as I did. He would then say he deserved it and it was settled. He couldn't believe it when he went to jail the first time and I refused to bail him out. He threatened to hurt me real bad when he got out----I just said I'll have my bat ready. He threatened to move, I opened the door and said I would help him move if he needed the help.
I grew up in an abusive home, I had 3 older brothers. They were not mean to me, they taught me to stand up for myself. My father was the mean one and would beat them. Me he raped. I was not in the mood to have another home like that and stood my ground. And prayed till my knees were black and blue. I tried to show him respect when he deserved it but refused to be dominated. Submissive is not the same thing as being dominated. He learned the difference. The last several years have been the best and he never wants to go back to the way things were. He looked at me one day and said, "You're the toughest woman I ever met--thank you!"--I nearly fainted! God worked on him and answered many prayers and he slowly saw that also. Now I am disabled, and so is he, we have learned to work together to hold each other up to survive. He has even prayed for me several times when my pain gets too bad.
I am not saying you should break his jaw (I nearly did)--everybody is different--what worked for me is because of who he is and who I am. My Christianity was sorely tested and I often failed, but when I failed I apologixed and he learned to respect me, my faith, and others. God gave us cats and dogs and through them he learned how to love. He had never had a pet and he threw our first one against the screen door for peeing on the rug---he never did it again as I nearly threw him against the wall. That dog is still with us, she follows him around like a shadow and whines when he is not home. The other dog died recently and he would clean up after him whenever he piddled and pooped in the house when he was dying and could no longer control himself. He would just pick him up and clean him and comfort him. He has come a very, very long way and so have I. Biut it rarely works out like this. Most of the time the woman is degraded to the point she has no life at all and her heart has been beaten down or she finally has enough and leaves. Only God can fix this and only if both are willing to learn.