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A woman's worth

seangoh

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This goes out to all the girls.

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question
"What kind of man are you looking for?" She sat quietly for a moment before
looking him in the eye and asking "Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said, "Yes." She began to expound...

As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can
do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my
household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in
the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money.

I need something more."

I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life." He
sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain. She said,
"I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I
need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded
man."

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because
I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a
recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection
financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for
someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman,
but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I
must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of
his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be
worthy.

God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't
help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled
look on his face. He said, "You're asking a lot." She replied, "I'm worth a
lot."
 

B®ent

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In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business.

I'm not sure I agree with that statement. 1 Peter 3 states the wife must submit in all regards, even if the husband is harsh, so that he might be won over by her example. Something to think about, eh? I know from all the instances I've seen of husbands abusing their authority, the wife always came out on top. :) God blesses us when we obey, but especially when it is not to our benefit.

Furthermore, submission and respect are not separate actions. A wife shows her respect by submitting -- the two go hand-in-hand.

I'm sure my opinion is unpopular, but agreeing to disagree is always acceptable. :)

Johannes
 
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Niels

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But isn't love about giving your best for the other person, however imperfect the both of you may be?

Perfection, outside of God himself, is a myth. My gift of discernment tells me she may end up with a 'psycho' if she truly wants somebody who's hell-bent on being perfect. Very often 'perfect' people have serious problems, since they lose perspective, and can even hurt those they claim to love (maybe they severely beat their children to keep them in line with their perfect image, or develop serious problems with things like gambling and porn, since they develop blind-spots when their energy is spent on becoming 'perfect'). Also, perfection is a moving target. People have different ideas of what 'perfect' is, and those ideas are subject to change.

Maybe she really wants a Godly man who's honest, balanced, and does his best for her... but the way this is written tells me she may be on the wrong track.
 
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JPPT1974

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A woman is to submit to the husband by supporting him in all that he does. And provides shelter and comfort for the household and waits for him to get home to help him in anway possible.
 
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fishstix

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Johannes Calvinus said:
I know from all the instances I've seen of husbands abusing their authority, the wife always came out on top. :) God blesses us when we obey, but especially when it is not to our benefit.

I've seen a number of cases where the husbands abuse their authority and as a result destroy the entire household or cause their wife (and children) serious problems - physical and emotional. There is a point where a spouse should say 'no more' and leave the situation rather than sit back and allow the situation to continue.
 
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B®ent

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fishstix said:
I've seen a number of cases where the husbands abuse their authority and as a result destroy the entire household or cause their wife (and children) serious problems - physical and emotional. There is a point where a spouse should say 'no more' and leave the situation rather than sit back and allow the situation to continue.

Oh, I definitely agree a wife should leave that situation. I should have said it more clear. So long as she does live with him, she must submit.

Johannes
 
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B®ent

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HoosierCanuck said:
Men are abusive.

Some...very few...men, are abusive.

If I am supposed to consider myself worthy, then why do I want to submit myself to abuse and conditional love? No thanks!

Submission does not = abuse, provided the husband has her best interests at heart. Read Ephesians 5. The wife must submit, and the husband must love her.

However, if the wife does not submit, that does not justify the husband not loving her; and similarly, an unloving husband does not justisy not submitting.
 
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Carri20

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This is EXACTLY why I have NO DESIRE to marry. Men are abusive. That is all I know. If I am supposed to consider myself worthy, then why do I want to submit myself to abuse and conditional love? No thanks!

Believe it or not, most men are not abusive. Especially saved Christian men. :)
 
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mina

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Men aren't perfect; they are sinners too- so women shouldn't expect complete perfection in a man- they will mess up and let you down from time to time. All men are not abusive however and those that are are sick. I didn't like how this was written. Men are not perfectly perfect all the time and each person is worth alot and definitely should be treated with respect and love by the person they love, but if you have to demand it to feel worthy then that's kind of skewed. She should have just said, "If you want to get to know me, get to know Jesus."
 
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Tink

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I have to agree with Johannes, as unpopular as his opinion seems to be on this thread. Submitting to your husband doesn't mean staying in an abusive relationship. If a man is harsh with you, but not abusive, the only way he will learn to love you the way he should is by your example, by your submission. There are points in the OP that I don't agree with, but I love the ending "I'm worth a lot" in reference to the woman asking for a lot from the man.

Men are worth a lot too. I think it's time we started recognizing them as the leaders of our homes. I know, I know..it's 2005....

In His love,
Tink
 
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mina

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True submission is a very freeing thing. Submitting to God doesn't mean that He beats you up; marriage is a human model of that submission. God also gave us common sense too and I don't think He agrees with a husband being abusive to his wife.
 
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HoosierCanuck

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Apparently I struck a nerve with my previous comments. By abusive I don't necessarily mean physically...just for the record. I was not 'physically' abused in my former life. I guess to me the word 'submission' conjures up a vision of slavery or inferiority. I wasn't raised to consider myself inferior to a man whether he is my husband or not. Blame my mother...she wanted me to be able to stand on my own two feet. I think if there is such thing as true love (and there probably is although I will never know it) then in that instance the man and woman should be supportive to each other. I think someone earlier used the word 'helpmate.' I can agree with that. I have no problem submitting to God but I do have a problem 'submitting' to another human being like some subservient object. I don't know if I'm making sense here or not. By the 'abusive' comment, I more or less meant that men (at least in HC's world!) are too quick to abuse any and all power they may have and that is what completely turns me off to getting into a relationship/marriage. Maybe its just the idiots in Indiana that act this way...I guess I can't speak for ALL men. But as far as I know...all of the good ones are already taken. :-(
 
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Niels

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HoosierCanuck said:
I guess to me the word 'submission' conjures up a vision of slavery or inferiority. I wasn't raised to consider myself inferior to a man whether he is my husband or not. Blame my mother...she wanted me to be able to stand on my own two feet. I think if there is such thing as true love (and there probably is although I will never know it) then in that instance the man and woman should be supportive to each other. I think someone earlier used the word 'helpmate.' I can agree with that. I have no problem submitting to God but I do have a problem 'submitting' to another human being like some subservient object.

Perhaps there should be a better word for 'submit' in the biblical context. It's not supposed to be about coersion/slavery/inferiority etc. I believe the 'wives submit' passage is followed by husbands being commanded to love their wives like God loves his people. Jesus gave his life for us! God made the ultimate sacrifice, and wants husbands to love their wives with that much passion. To put her well-being over his, perhaps even to the extent of losing his life for hers (think "Women and children into the lifeboats first" when a ship is sinking). It is in the context of a husband's selfless love for his wife, that this 'submission' occurs. There's nothing sadistic about it, and it doesn't make a woman inferior to a man.

Unfortunately, as you've noticed, not all husbands love their wives as God loves his people. But I don't think a woman is expected to 'submit' to a man who does not love her in such a selfless manner.
 
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Fatolia

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HoosierCanuck said:
Apparently I struck a nerve with my previous comments. By abusive I don't necessarily mean physically...just for the are already taken. :-(

It sounds like you just got burned. Not all of us Hoozzshierz are emotionally abusive and power hungry. Heck, if someone doesn't do what I say, I just do it myself!
 
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