shania said:
What I'm really looking for is how the majority of Christian couples practice their marriage roles such as the following:
Beliefs?
Systems of functioning as a couple and as a family?
Traditions?
Expectations of one another?
Gender roles?
How they perceive the other partner and themselves and how they treat each other?
Sometimes what is on paper what is actually practiced are different.
What I am looking for is how Christian husbands and wives REALLY treat one another and not what they say when they are at church and what they say out loud in front of other Christians so that they won't look bad in front of other people.
Because we all know we do not always practice what we preach.
I guess what I am looking for is an actual scientific study, because people tend to be more honest when they fill out an anonomous questionnaire as opposed to talking to people face to face.
Does anyone know where I can find this?
I've started this reply several times now. I even managed to write out my entire response once, but then felt I needed to stop and evaluate if the intention of my words were to build up the truths of the Bible. So, here I try again...
Sometimes, as Christians, we have to stand firm and even be blunt (as nicely as possible) - we do no one any favors by trying to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]-foot around the truth.
Your post disturbs me on many levels; not the least of which is your appearant belief that the vast majority of Christian responses to your questions in other threads must be lies.
What I am looking for is how Christian husbands and wives REALLY treat one another and not what they say when they are at church and what they say out loud in front of other Christians so that they won't look bad in front of other people
The truth is, most of us who stand firmly in what we have said in these other threads ARE telling the truth about the dynamics of our relationships. If we weren't telling the truth, do you think we would so strongly defend those beliefs? So that leads me to another question - what has happened to you which causes you to have such a cynical outlook and low expectation? Has someon done something so horrendous as to cause you to simply expect everyone around you to lie? Or, is it because the views you've seen expressed in other (recent) threads on this issue present a viewpoint that is so foreign to you, you find yourself literally incapable of accepting it as truth, and so must convince yourself they are lies? Are you sure of what you believe about this issue, that you have to believe anyone on the other side of the issue has to be wrong, or lying? Is it because the idea of abiding by God's word at the expense of what you want annoys you so badly that you can't imagine there are others willing to do it? Is it because you simply expect Christians to lie? What motivates this belief that everyone else must be lying unless they post in agreement with your position?
I've been reading your posts in other locations which dance around this issue, so I am making an educated guess that the intention of this post is really another way to try and garner support for your particular stance. The funny thing about research; if you set out trying to ONLY prove your side, you will find much support - but, it is biased and unrealiable at best, useless at worst.
Beliefs?
Systems of functioning as a couple and as a family?
Traditions?
Expectations of one another?
Gender roles?
How they perceive the other partner and themselves and how they treat each other?
Beliefs: Husband is the leader, the head of the household and God's choice for head of the congregation (Eph 5:22-33)
System of functioning: very healthy, stable and loving home which is headed by the husband - husband is in turn supported/helped by the wife (Gen 2:20)
Traditions: Not really sure what you are asking with this one, particularly in light of being Christian.
Expectations of one another: Eph 5:22 is great here too - and yes, this is the kind of thing we expect from each other - I expect his love, he expects my respect. (Focus on the Family had an AWESOME show on this a couple of weeks ago!!!)
Gender roles: countless references in the Bible make it clear that God created man to be in charge and women to be his helper - both roles are equally important as they enable each other to be accomplished; neither role is less or more important than the other in God's eyes - the important thing is that we fulfill those roles to the best of our ability as God prescribed them in His word.
I believe that any Christian who is intimately familiar with the Bible would say they live by these principles; so this is not just "how we do it" in my marriage, but a valid response to exactly what you asked
I am NOT asking how YOU PERSONALLY think a Christian marriage should be or the way your church thinks it should be, just the way that the vast majority of Christians in the world think that it should be based on scripture.
I whole-heartedly believe that the vast majority of Christians view marriage this way simply because the Bible is so abundantly clear about it.
