Precious Lostsoul your hearts cry has been heard by Jesus. Never has He ever left your side in all this time of your struggle and doubt. He is and has been with you through it all.
One of the reasons you find it hard to let go of things is because you are needing to feel secure in the love of Jesus and know how much He loves you.Then it will be easier for you to move on and grow in faith to leave behind the things that hinder your growing closer to Jesus. Once you allow your security to be in Jesus you can start taking your eyes off yourself and other things and begin to look to, and put Jesus first instead.
We get problems when we look to have our needs met by following after the things and ways of the world. This is false security and never lasts. It is unsatisfying and unfilling. This way just leads to going round and round in circles and not getting anywhere. Any happiness derived from this is temporary.And in the meantime we get to feel God is far away and unforgiven sin creates a barrier inside of us to stop us experiencing the peace and love of God.
You see being a Christian is based on having a Relationship that is maintained by keeping in Fellowship with the one Person who loves you more than anyone ever could.That is God. And God through the Holy Spirit will give you His love in your heart and enable you to change into the person He wants you to be.
Right now my love as you cry out the Holy Spirit is leading you and drawing you close to Jesus. You asking for prayer is evidence God is at work.Because to answer your heart cry to change and put God first means you need to approach Him. And His Holy Spirit is placing the desire in your heart to do just that.
So just come to Him, like a child. He longs to hold you, to comfort you and wrap you and fill you completely in His love.
He is waiting for you to take that one step towards Him and He will lift you up and cleanse you and give you peace. Just ask for forgiveness and your fellowship will be restored.
He has no harsh words for you. He loves you and has missed you coming to Him and spending time with Him. He wants you to know Him as your friend. There is no need to fear failure. He knows you've messed up in the past but that does not change the fact that He loves you and has a plan for you. All He wants my love is YOU. And if you come to Him every day, you'll find each day is better because you're choosing to be with Jesus.
Regarding those things in the world you struggle with. Allow God to deal with those. And He will. The important thing is for you to get to know Him again and as you grow closer and move on, those things will fall away. You'll lose the desire to be involved with them and by being closer to Jesus again you will have the necessary faith and strength to leave them all behind. Cause you would have found all your security in Jesus.
Don't wait until you're perfect, or better, or not struggling with things. Come to Jesus now. Not when you feel you've improved things. He is at your heart's door just open it and let Him in, and feel and enjoy and know the love, peace and security you've been longing for.
If it helps pray something like this ( or use your own words)
Dear Jesus
I confess I have gone my own way and grieved your heart. My sin has caused me to be separated from you and now I long to leave that behind and to put you first. To put you first in everything in my life.
Plese forgive me and come into my life to change me into the person you want me to be.
Thankyou that I have new life in you and I will never be alone, for you promised to be always with me. Help me to come to you every day and teach me your ways.
Thankyou Jesus you have done as I have asked.And now I am God's Child. Amen.
If you've prayed that prayer or one like it, you can be sure God has answered.
Much peace to you and I'm praying for you.
PM me anytime if you feel the need to.
God bless
Gentle-Heart