i wrote this a little while back, and i'd like to get some feedback on what you guys think of it. thanks.
He stood up, his shadow small and oblong in a pool around his feet. On all sides of him the plains stretched out, fading from yellow to white as they became the wavering horizon. A faint breeze caught the frayed and bleached tails of his shirt. He began walking the imprints of his patent shoes filling with sand as he moved, the grains trickling to the beat of his step. No birds wheeled overhead, no fly with a buzz. The air was totally silent except for the shuddering flap of his shirt as the wind gusted and died, toying with grains of sand, tossing and catching them as it blew. Frank. The name came into focus in the front of his head. My name is Frank. He could visualise his white laminated company ID pinned to his jacket as he laid it over Johns corpse. Hed been here three days when hed found John, half buried in the sand and withered like dried fruit.
Franks rhythmic shuffle stuttered to a halt as a rift in the sand widened between his feet. A jet of water shot high into the air, sending him flailing backwards. Whipping himself around on all fours Frank thrust his face into the spring. Soon he was sitting in a sparkling blue puddle deep enough to float in. He lay there floating on his back, and with the spring burbling away contentedly beside him, he soon fell asleep.
His eyes opened slowly, squinting into the overhead sun. Frank pushed down with his hands as he tried standing up. A small yelp escaped him, arms thrashing, choking as his face slipped under the water. Kicking his legs he broke the surface and began to tread water. Crystalline blue stretched out on all sides of him. Looking down all there was to see was deepening green. Frank relaxed his arms, spread-eagling himself and floated, bobbing gently with the motion of the water.
He stood up, his shadow small and oblong in a pool around his feet. On all sides of him the plains stretched out, fading from yellow to white as they became the wavering horizon. A faint breeze caught the frayed and bleached tails of his shirt. He began walking the imprints of his patent shoes filling with sand as he moved, the grains trickling to the beat of his step. No birds wheeled overhead, no fly with a buzz. The air was totally silent except for the shuddering flap of his shirt as the wind gusted and died, toying with grains of sand, tossing and catching them as it blew. Frank. The name came into focus in the front of his head. My name is Frank. He could visualise his white laminated company ID pinned to his jacket as he laid it over Johns corpse. Hed been here three days when hed found John, half buried in the sand and withered like dried fruit.
Franks rhythmic shuffle stuttered to a halt as a rift in the sand widened between his feet. A jet of water shot high into the air, sending him flailing backwards. Whipping himself around on all fours Frank thrust his face into the spring. Soon he was sitting in a sparkling blue puddle deep enough to float in. He lay there floating on his back, and with the spring burbling away contentedly beside him, he soon fell asleep.
His eyes opened slowly, squinting into the overhead sun. Frank pushed down with his hands as he tried standing up. A small yelp escaped him, arms thrashing, choking as his face slipped under the water. Kicking his legs he broke the surface and began to tread water. Crystalline blue stretched out on all sides of him. Looking down all there was to see was deepening green. Frank relaxed his arms, spread-eagling himself and floated, bobbing gently with the motion of the water.
