A Rift in Time

[oceanofdreamz]

this is the start of my story tell me what you think... it's umm... short cause it's just the start Tell me what I should add or drop... blessings


Megan D. Lewiez knelt next to her bedroom window and started praying to God. It was a very comfortable place to pray because her room window was in the attic and it had a full view of the ocean on the one side and the forest on the other. Every night for the last 11 years she would kneel in front of this window and pray. Megan had lived in this house near the ocean for her entire life and knew all the surroundings. Across the street lived the Jamels, next door to them was the Smiths those were her only neighbors so she knew them pretty well, Jamee Jamel was Megan's best friend. After Megan prayed she usually wrote in her journal, she was currently writing her life story... with a few exsageartions of course. If Megan wrote a truthful life story if would be boring, nothing ever changes in her little town. That evening after Megan prayed she decided to just watch outside, she had heard a meter shower would be starting that night around 1 and she wanted to see it. So she turned on some peaceful music, grabbed her portable telescope and waited. While waiting she decided to just look around and she saw something that caught her eye, she was looking through her telescope. It was this light,she had never seen it before.

 

[Tier]

I'd just like to point out that this sounds very familiar to a Wrinkle in Time.

-The main character's name is Megan (Meg)
-It starts out in an attic
-At night
-During a storm

 

[SilverGirl]

it does kinda sound like wrinkle in time (which is one of my favorite books by the way) so keep goin with it. I like it...what's the light she sees?

 

[Tier]

I am definately interested as to what she saw though, so is is effective. I almost think you can leave out the part about neighbors, cut straight to the light.

 

[Lilly of the Valley]

It's good. I would keep reading.........if there was more.