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Below is another letter from the Übertheologian, Dr. A.R. Minian. In this letter he is responding to something I put in the Christian history forum titled Augustine and Reconciliation and in on my blog. I hope you enjoy this letter from A.R.
In Christ,
Kenith
In William Shakespeare's famous play, Romeo and Juliet, the character, Juliet emotes the immortal words, "What's in a name? that which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet." These unforgettable lines carry tremendous weight. As the character so duly points out, it does not matter by what nomenclature we denote objects, they will still be exactly what they are. And such is our current bone of contention with Mr. Andy's latest and greatest offering from his column 'As I see it'. But allow us to quote the Nimble Nephilim verbatim, "... I describe myself as a 'Reformed Christian' and that I migrated into 'Reformational Christianity' after being born and raised Roman Catholic and then Baptist. I later say that I consider myself to be a Reformational catholic (Notice the little 'c')." I highlighted Andy's comment in parentheses in order to draw the appropriate attention to what that theologian on training wheels hoped most would skim over without a second glance.
First let us assess our antagonist. Mr. Andy is a 42nd degree theological and doctrinal contortionist. He mixes the oft coveted gifts of profoundness, intelligence, and affability, with smiling sincerely and the shedding of his skin all at the same time. He is Harry Houdini, General George Patton, and Bullwinkle the Moose poured together and shaken, though not easily stirred. To the outside world he can be found most evenings on his front porch, imbibing whatever fermentation is 69 cents a quart at the local Circle K, which he hitches a ride to, or on sunny days, pedals there himself on an antiquated riding lawnmower he calls 'Ole Red'. But as night falls, he can be found, burning the midnight oil, a coal black raven perched upon his left shoulder, a Guinness Stout drooling betwixt his thin, sinister lips, pouring over great volumes of the Protestant revolution like a spiritual sorcerer calling forth some long lost incantation.
Therefore it is imperative that we study Mr.Andy to show ourselves approved. For we must be quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, ready to divide asunder Andy's words even between the bull and the manure. Now, allow us to revisit Andy's last phrase-"I consider myself to be a Reformational catholic (Notice the little 'c')." Whether catholic is spelled with small case 'c' or Catholic is spelled with large case 'C', the result is the same. This Catholic/Baptist hybrid remains 50% Catholic, BIG 'C'! Were it spoken, there would be no differentiation between lower and upper case. Drawing attention to the spelling with a small 'c' is merely Andy's device of snuggling up as close as possible under the papal wing without actually smooching the papal ring. It is likened to a newly married young man telling his bride that he plans to go barhopping with his good old boys, but intends to drink nothing 'cept O'Doul's and talk to no one 'cept old, snuff dipping, hairy legged women. It is his trite and vain effort to convince his protestant followers of his Calvinistic stability whilst carefully kissing up to 'his royal gluteus maximus ex cathedra' without leaving any reformed lip prints behind. In short, Mr. Andy is a masterpiece of liturgical liposuction.
Why, must one ask, would Mr. Andy chance the alienation and wrath of both Protestants and Catholics? The answer is simple, because he has appointed himself to be the grand mediator and healer of the schism created by the reformation. The first great King, Arthur, having pulled Excalibur from the stone and uniting a kingdom, hence the second great King, Andy, will now pull Luther's dagger from the papal door thus uniting the religious masses. In his column, 'As I see it', Andy extols the virtues of Augustine and the fact that both Protestants and Catholics find common ground under the blessed saint's feet. Such a personage as Augustine, still holding a mediating place between the two great divisions of Christendom, revered alike by both, and of equal influence with both, is furthermore a welcome pledge of the elevating prospect of a future reconciliation of Catholicism and Protestantism." And so it is High Priest Andy, lowering himself like a democratic drawbridge for each opinion uttered and positioning himself perfectly as a peacemaker of Beatitudinal proportions whenever the heated debate of the Great Reconciliation sparks the air. But we of the New World Order are not that easily taken in. Wherever Andy markets his curdled, conciliatory, comments A. R. will be there. I shall be there with tittering tongue, rolling eyes, and frowning brow. I shall be there with cheap beer, molded cheese, and stale wafers. I shall be there in all my ecclesiastical glory and that, dear readers, will be the end of andy. (notice the little 'a').
I remain,
Doorman to the only true portal of lasting peace-
The New World Order,
A. R. Minian
All religions, all beliefs, all paths lead to the Supreme One
In Christ,
Kenith
A 'C' is a 'c' is a 'C'...
In William Shakespeare's famous play, Romeo and Juliet, the character, Juliet emotes the immortal words, "What's in a name? that which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet." These unforgettable lines carry tremendous weight. As the character so duly points out, it does not matter by what nomenclature we denote objects, they will still be exactly what they are. And such is our current bone of contention with Mr. Andy's latest and greatest offering from his column 'As I see it'. But allow us to quote the Nimble Nephilim verbatim, "... I describe myself as a 'Reformed Christian' and that I migrated into 'Reformational Christianity' after being born and raised Roman Catholic and then Baptist. I later say that I consider myself to be a Reformational catholic (Notice the little 'c')." I highlighted Andy's comment in parentheses in order to draw the appropriate attention to what that theologian on training wheels hoped most would skim over without a second glance.
First let us assess our antagonist. Mr. Andy is a 42nd degree theological and doctrinal contortionist. He mixes the oft coveted gifts of profoundness, intelligence, and affability, with smiling sincerely and the shedding of his skin all at the same time. He is Harry Houdini, General George Patton, and Bullwinkle the Moose poured together and shaken, though not easily stirred. To the outside world he can be found most evenings on his front porch, imbibing whatever fermentation is 69 cents a quart at the local Circle K, which he hitches a ride to, or on sunny days, pedals there himself on an antiquated riding lawnmower he calls 'Ole Red'. But as night falls, he can be found, burning the midnight oil, a coal black raven perched upon his left shoulder, a Guinness Stout drooling betwixt his thin, sinister lips, pouring over great volumes of the Protestant revolution like a spiritual sorcerer calling forth some long lost incantation.
Therefore it is imperative that we study Mr.Andy to show ourselves approved. For we must be quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, ready to divide asunder Andy's words even between the bull and the manure. Now, allow us to revisit Andy's last phrase-"I consider myself to be a Reformational catholic (Notice the little 'c')." Whether catholic is spelled with small case 'c' or Catholic is spelled with large case 'C', the result is the same. This Catholic/Baptist hybrid remains 50% Catholic, BIG 'C'! Were it spoken, there would be no differentiation between lower and upper case. Drawing attention to the spelling with a small 'c' is merely Andy's device of snuggling up as close as possible under the papal wing without actually smooching the papal ring. It is likened to a newly married young man telling his bride that he plans to go barhopping with his good old boys, but intends to drink nothing 'cept O'Doul's and talk to no one 'cept old, snuff dipping, hairy legged women. It is his trite and vain effort to convince his protestant followers of his Calvinistic stability whilst carefully kissing up to 'his royal gluteus maximus ex cathedra' without leaving any reformed lip prints behind. In short, Mr. Andy is a masterpiece of liturgical liposuction.
Why, must one ask, would Mr. Andy chance the alienation and wrath of both Protestants and Catholics? The answer is simple, because he has appointed himself to be the grand mediator and healer of the schism created by the reformation. The first great King, Arthur, having pulled Excalibur from the stone and uniting a kingdom, hence the second great King, Andy, will now pull Luther's dagger from the papal door thus uniting the religious masses. In his column, 'As I see it', Andy extols the virtues of Augustine and the fact that both Protestants and Catholics find common ground under the blessed saint's feet. Such a personage as Augustine, still holding a mediating place between the two great divisions of Christendom, revered alike by both, and of equal influence with both, is furthermore a welcome pledge of the elevating prospect of a future reconciliation of Catholicism and Protestantism." And so it is High Priest Andy, lowering himself like a democratic drawbridge for each opinion uttered and positioning himself perfectly as a peacemaker of Beatitudinal proportions whenever the heated debate of the Great Reconciliation sparks the air. But we of the New World Order are not that easily taken in. Wherever Andy markets his curdled, conciliatory, comments A. R. will be there. I shall be there with tittering tongue, rolling eyes, and frowning brow. I shall be there with cheap beer, molded cheese, and stale wafers. I shall be there in all my ecclesiastical glory and that, dear readers, will be the end of andy. (notice the little 'a').
I remain,
Doorman to the only true portal of lasting peace-
The New World Order,
A. R. Minian
All religions, all beliefs, all paths lead to the Supreme One
