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a quick update

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kamikat

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I haven't been around here for a while because I was doing really well. Well, I guess I thought I had it beat, I had even started losing weight (more than 100lb overweight). Well, tonight, in the midst of a spiritual crisis and having no one to talk to, since husband is an atheist, I managed to give in to the temptation. I know this isn't what God wants for me. I don't know why I did it. I guess tomorrow is another chance for me to start all over.

kamikat
 

goldenviolet

Holy is the Lord God Almighty
Nov 28, 2004
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sweetheart

Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful. Romans 12:12

He saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33

...... whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. John 4:14

​


If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, my Lord would not have listened. Psalm 66:18


For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17


Praise the LORD! Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Psalm 106:1


To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness, though we have rebelled against Him. Daniel 9:9

And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Acts 2:21

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalms 90:12
​

Philippians 3:13
I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.

This is the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24​
​
 
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kamikat

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VickiY said:
Kamikat...it's like everything the Church Fathers say... "We fall, we get up, we fall, we get up".

Don't beat yourself up for giving in to temptation!
Click to expand...

Sometimes it's hard, but today, the sun seems brighter, the birds are singing louder and life is good. Today, I hear the Lord speaking loudly.

What kills me is that on fast days, I'm not even tempted to binge. It's like I'm a normal person again. The rest of the time, I'm a wreck and the binging hangs over me like a cloud.

kamikat
 
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inHisgripkim

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Kamikat:

Good for you. You have the right attitude. Our recovery is one day at a time. Sounds like you have more recovery days than relapse days.

It's the same with me when I splurge and have something fattening. The next day I get back to eating healthy again. Even with my BDD, I can cut a little one day, and then leave my hair alone for months. I have more recovery days than I do relapses. With me, however, my relapse can take all my hair off. Argh. That's painful for me. Haven't done that and I have hair that I haven't been hiding under a wig for well over a month. That's the Lord's blessing to me. I take it one day at time. Today, I still have hair. Hallelujah. Praise the Lord. Praise Him all day and all night forever and ever.

Thanks for sharing. Relapses are expected. Its like falling off a horse. We have to get right back on.

Good for you. Keep that positive attitude. Awesome.
KIm
 
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inHisgripkim

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Kamikat:
Fast days we tend to stay in the present more. When our activities slow our mind wanders to the past. "Bad mind." We start thinking about things that trigger the urge. Its being aware of your thinking when you are idle. Try to stay in the present. Focus on the Lord. Listen to music. Dance and sing. Exercise. Read a good book. Write in your blog. Clean house. But when you do these things, be aware of where your thinking is. When we are at home is when relapses happen more often than not.

Make a list of things you can do to stay active. Be aware of the thinking.

Blessings to you Earth Angel,
Kim
 
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kamikat

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inHisgripkim said:
Kamikat:
Fast days we tend to stay in the present more.
Blessings to you Earth Angel,
Kim
Click to expand...

No, I'm not talking about ED fasting. My church has certain fasting days throughout the year. Because my priest is aware of my ED, my fast days aren't really what normal people call fasting. My fast days are more like a fast from the sin of gluttony. This gives me boundries around my eating and does not permit me to fast in the ED sense of the word.

kamikat
 
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inHisgripkim

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Gotcha.
 
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