A Quick Question...

[london boy]

Well, I know how it to push people away. I got very close to a girl from my old church in Germany and we built up a good long-distance friendship since last summer and on Valentine's Day this year I wrote to her how I wished that we could be together. This was more a long-term hope than a current wish and I've hardly heard from each her since. I feel like I've ruined a good friendship by simply being myself - a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve.

 

[findinghope06]

Well, I know how it to push people away. I got very close to a girl from my old church in Germany and we built up a good long-distance friendship since last summer and on Valentine's Day this year I wrote to her how I wished that we could be together. This was more a long-term hope than a current wish and I've hardly heard from each her since. I feel like I've ruined a good friendship by simply being myself - a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve.

yah i definitly know that one but luckily God helped some of my friendships in that situation. you did the right thing by telling her though. i say that b/c there were times that i wish the guy would have said something (i found out later that they liked me and i liked them too but neither of us said anything) but just remember everything happens for a reason so there was a good reason you felt that you needed to tell her and everything. and there arent enough guys who wear their hearts on their sleeves. its hard to do and some guys could learn a thing or two by putting their feelings out there once in a while instead of keeping them all inside.
thanks for posting by the way!

 

[findinghope06]

Uh huh... thought i didn't like it.

...I'll take the other puppy and the kitty too I'll pass on the stork lol

-Lady

very cute puppy! thanks again for the kitty revelations12_12!

 

[JPPT1974]

Uh huh... thought i didn't like it.

...I'll take the other puppy and the kitty too I'll pass on the stork lol

-Lady

Better take the animals before we go into the stork as well.

 

[Onwardclimb]

((((((((((((((((Findinghope06))))))))))))))))))))),

I share your plight. Only I've NEVER been in a relationship because I'm soooooooooooo TERRIFIED of it that I reject EVERY guy who asks me...You're still a kid (19), so I wouldn't worry too much about missing out on "the one" right now (from what I've heard, most people usually meet their spouses in college/around college age)...If you get to be my age (24) and you still can't date/get involved with anyone, then I'd worry. I'm VERY SCARED that I will miss out and that I've already missed out on "the one" for me because of my fears, and that hurts more than you know

God Bless,
Onwardclimb

 

[findinghope06]

((((((((((((((((Findinghope06))))))))))))))))))))),

I share your plight. Only I've NEVER been in a relationship because I'm soooooooooooo TERRIFIED of it that I reject EVERY guy who asks me...You're still a kid (19), so I wouldn't worry too much about missing out on "the one" right now (from what I've heard, most people usually meet their spouses in college/around college age)...If you get to be my age (24) and you still can't date/get involved with anyone, then I'd worry. I'm VERY SCARED that I will miss out and that I've already missed out on "the one" for me because of my fears, and that hurts more than you know

God Bless,
Onwardclimb

awww i wouldnt worry. yes i am young, but you are young too!!! ive talked to my mom about this too and the only thing that really remains in my head on the matter is that when you meet the one God has chosen for you, He will make you not scared. God knows our hearts and i believe He knows that both you and me are completely terrified so He has a plan special for us to meet the man we are supposed to be with! i guess that it helps me a bit, im just scared of what will happen later i guess. the thought of someone knowing me so well and still loving me just seems to terrify me but i guess when it happens, it wont be as bad as we think. im praying for you. dont worry too much and dont give up hope on the man God has for you. He will come when its the right time. thats what i keep telling myself so i hope it helps you too. God Bless.

 

[Onwardclimb]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Findinghope06))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

THANKS!!!!!! You're an AWESOME encourager !!!!!!!

 

[findinghope06]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Findinghope06))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

THANKS!!!!!! You're an AWESOME encourager !!!!!!!

you are very welcome! anytime i can help, let me know!

 

[Silver Speak]

I know how that goes. I haven't been in an actual relationship, though. I guess it's about having been alone for so long that I've built this comfort zone around me and I'm just terrified of letting people in.. I don't really have close friends either. I don't like to talk about anything too personal. Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it if I trusted the person but that's the hard part. I just feel comfortable with the idea that no one knows too much about me. There hasn't really been a guy I'd like to pursue a serious relationship with, anyway. If I'm gonna tell him everything there is to know about me he'd better be worth it!

 

[london boy]

I know how that goes. I haven't been in an actual relationship, though. I guess it's about having been alone for so long that I've built this comfort zone around me and I'm just terrified of letting people in.. I don't really have close friends either. I don't like to talk about anything too personal. Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it if I trusted the person but that's the hard part. I just feel comfortable with the idea that no one knows too much about me. There hasn't really been a guy I'd like to pursue a serious relationship with, anyway. If I'm gonna tell him everything there is to know about me he'd better be worth it!

Silver Speak, you have to do whatever you feel comfortable with. At least by not giving much of yourself away, you remain mysterious and that can be very intriguing

 

[JPPT1974]

I know how that goes. I haven't been in an actual relationship, though. I guess it's about having been alone for so long that I've built this comfort zone around me and I'm just terrified of letting people in.. I don't really have close friends either. I don't like to talk about anything too personal. Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it if I trusted the person but that's the hard part. I just feel comfortable with the idea that no one knows too much about me. There hasn't really been a guy I'd like to pursue a serious relationship with, anyway. If I'm gonna tell him everything there is to know about me he'd better be worth it!

I have built a comfort zone around me too though I am doing the best to crawl out of my shell as well as trying to trust people. But it's hard for me as well as I don't want to let people into my private life. For fears of having my heart broken if you know what I mean!!

 

[findinghope06]

I know how that goes. I haven't been in an actual relationship, though. I guess it's about having been alone for so long that I've built this comfort zone around me and I'm just terrified of letting people in.. I don't really have close friends either. I don't like to talk about anything too personal. Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it if I trusted the person but that's the hard part. I just feel comfortable with the idea that no one knows too much about me. There hasn't really been a guy I'd like to pursue a serious relationship with, anyway. If I'm gonna tell him everything there is to know about me he'd better be worth it!

i know exactly what you mean. i think i have that comfort around me that no one knows me that well. well my friends know me pretty well but i know none of them are the one im supposed to marry, so its easier for me to open up the them. the thought of someone being in love with me and having them know everything about me, scares me. there are somethings that only my family know about me and you really cant experience until you live w/ me. my friends dont know me in that sense. that is also why i have a hard time pursuing serious relationships, its the seriousness of it that really scares me which only tells me im not ready for one yet. i will be praying for you!

 

[Silver Speak]

Well, for me, there really isn't a person I can share my problems with. I do have a lot of friends but there's no one really close and the closest ones have let me down and it turned out loyalty isn't their top priority. Also, I don't trust many of them as christians 'cause, again, their priorities are elsewhere (not sayin' I'm a saint either, of course). Then there are some older friends who I really look up to but they're (getting) married and that's obviously their biggest interest and I don't see where I fit in; I can't really relate.

What I really want is a good guy friend, like a big brother, someone I can rely on. There's really no one I can think of pursuing anything more serious with.

Another thing I'd like to have is a mentor, someone to look after me and advice me.

Really, it kills me not having anyone to tell how I feel and to be real with but I can't just go and tell them everything about me just to have them backstab me. I know I sound bitter but it's hard to trust when everyone you rely on gives up the friendship you valued for other things.

My trust isssue isn't the only thing on the way, though. I don't seem to find a person with similar interests and values, especially a guy!

 

[JPPT1974]

Same here SS as I also tend to shy away from making commitments for fears of having my heart broken as well as hurting the other persons' feelings. And get this-I also tend to shy away from my family because I am afraid that they will give me differing opinions as well as things that compromise not just my plans but also God's plans as well.

 

[lady_of_god]

Well I was watching Joyce Meyers just the other day.... she was basically talking about sowing a seed for what you wanted and reaping the benefits at harvest.We have to give what we want to receive. We want trust, we have to give trust. We want love, we have to give love. We want forgiveness, we have to give forgiveness


I've been hurt too... it's hard to trust and completely open up without worrying about whether or not this person might take a dagger and plunge it into your back. I think it's a matter of forgiveness of all your past hurts and extreme pain. If we are going to be join to good people in Christ and possibly our future spouses we have to open up a bit. I'm by no means saying be an open book, but let the guard down so others (with the right intentions) can come into our lives. I'm working on the whole concept myself but I understand.

-Lady.

 

[JPPT1974]

Don't you just hate it when you think that people that really want to be your friend just turn around and just stab you in the back. It is like more a dagger in the heart!!

 

[revelations12_12]

Don't you just hate it when you think that people that really want to be your friend just turn around and just stab you in the back. It is like more a dagger in the heart!!

My best friend since second grade did that too me about 6 months ago. I had moved up near him, up in seattle after I left my wife, and after hanging out and bbqing for about 6 months, having the time of our lives, he backstabbed in a bad way for no reason, just crushed me. I am still having problems recovering, and trusting. I have built up a wall of resentment towards people lately and deep down I know it is unjustified, but if you cannot even trust your closest friends who can you trust.

nice to see I am not the only one that this happens too. Well sad to see is more fitting here I guess...

 

[revelations12_12]

I need to bring some sunshine into this thread...




Everyone meet sunshine.

 

[findinghope06]

Thanks for the sunshine in this thread. I think it definitly brightened things up a bit!

 

[findinghope06]

My best friend since second grade did that too me about 6 months ago. I had moved up near him, up in seattle after I left my wife, and after hanging out and bbqing for about 6 months, having the time of our lives, he backstabbed in a bad way for no reason, just crushed me. I am still having problems recovering, and trusting. I have built up a wall of resentment towards people lately and deep down I know it is unjustified, but if you cannot even trust your closest friends who can you trust.

nice to see I am not the only one that this happens too. Well sad to see is more fitting here I guess...

Im sorry about your situation but im praying for you. My best friend really crushed me about 3 years ago and it was hard to let my guard down, but my bff now is awesome and i know she loves me for who i am and not who im friends w/. She understands me like no one else does and i understand her and its amazing to see how far she has come in her journey w/ Christ. God Bless and keep praying!