A question for "the never married"....

[aflower4God]

I was wondering do you find that with age you are pickier about your partner that you desire?
I do, and I am not talking about looks, however I do think everyone has the one or two traits that they want in the opposite sex looks wise. For me, I am talking about the family back ground as in a HEALTHY family back ground, NOT MONEY! The person knows what they want, takes things slowly, calm and emotionally able to handle anything. Loves to laugh, does NOT keep up with the dump Hollywood trend as in a girl must look like she has botox etc. Some call that picky but I think with age that is normal right?
I am feeling like I am very old in the fact that I have never been in love or a real relationship @ 37 years of age, yes I have dated but most guys that I have dated have come from a father who was very toxic therefore, they tried to control me. So I can see through those type of guys like a clear glassed window.
I was wondering if anyone here feels like with age they are pickier in their ideal mate like the example I gave.
God bless you.

 

[dayhiker]

Interesting post, flower

I don't know that I have changed what I'm looking for in a woman. My basic interest is a woman that I like is that she wants to spend some time with me, be active, get out and do some things. Clearly if she is fat she isn't going to be able to hike mtns. But I don't have a litmus test they have to meet. I try to accept people for who they are and appreciate who they are. To do that, I can't be teling them who they should be and what they should be doing with their life, money and time. In all that I want them to spend some time with me and when they are with me to be focused on me and not tell me how to live my life and how to spend my money.

So its got to be a two way street.

 

[Mydnyte]

I feel like maybe I've grown pickier. Maybe that's why I'm still alone, but I absolutely refuse to lower my standards or to settle for someone that I don't really want to be with.

Really frustrates me sometimes. People assume at this age, that your desperate, and try to set you up with someone who you have no attraction to whatsoever.

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

I think the older we get the more we become set in our ways and maybe this makes us more pickier and less likely to make the necessary adjustments needed in a good relationship. But hey what do I know about this

 

[dayhiker]

Hope .. Ya, I'm clearly aware that there are things that will irritate me and that I don't want to be a part of day in and day out. I didn't know those things when I was young. But I can deal with a lot of things that irritate me even if its not fun to tune them out day after day.

But the thing I have limited sucess tuning out is when I'm expected to be something I'm not.

 

[Inkachu]

Somewhat, yes. And I think it's because we get to know ourselves better as we go through life. We know what we want, what we have to offer, what we're willing to put up with, what we will not accept, etc. When you're 18 or 21, you're kinda just wide-eyed and excited about anyone who's cute.

 

[dayhiker]

Yup, we know our self. We also know what's not worth putting up with for what we get out of the relationship.

But we as Christians are to sacrifice for others. Put others 1st. Help others, love them. How does this change our formula? Clearly that doesn't mean put up with everything. Do we think I'll put up with that because I'm not going to be selfish?

 

[aflower4God]

thank you all for your input and logic I have to agree with you all.
God bless you and LOTS OF LOVE to you ((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))

 

[luvs2lift]

my mindset has definately changed with who i want to share my life with. I have had women want to change for me and i don't want that. The one thing is i've always been attracted to a women who is athletic/works out. I want someone who shares similar activities basically.. if i dated someone who didn't do the gym it wouldn't last. I will never change for someone however i know there is sacrifices when you get married and start a family. But i truly want to marry the one the lord has for me and that i am struggling with and i will make my own thread lol.

 

[from scratch]

Hope .. Ya, I'm clearly aware that there are things that will irritate me and that I don't want to be a part of day in and day out. I didn't know those things when I was young. But I can deal with a lot of things that irritate me even if its not fun to tune them out day after day.

But the thing I have limited sucess tuning out is when I'm expected to be something I'm not.

wouldn't that be someone that is seeking stuff rather than a relationship. I guess women are funny in the respect. I've talked with a few divorced women and men over time.

One lady said she wished she had her little house back. She had time with her husband. Now that they have the huge house she complains that she never sees him. That huge house requires loads of green stuff with pictures of famous people on them.

A guy I talked to said if he ever get another house he is going to find a woman he dosen't like and give it to her. It seemed as soon as his wife got the car and house of her dreams she didn't like him much.

I talked to another woman who had a paid for house on unemployment and sued her last employer for her stupid actions, divoreced 3 times and her appeal to me was I'm a head turner. No thanks she can use somebody else. Sex ain't that important to me.

 

[dayhiker]

Scratch,
Ya, they woman's history has warnings written all over it. I don't knw if I'll ever get married again because there are so many pitfalls that can happen. I have no desire to go thru a divorce again with the gov.(judge) telling me what to do with my money. So I'm thinking more and more that I'll not get married.

 

[from scratch]

If I ever do get married there will be a legal contract. None of this unspelled out stuff. A marriage today is a legal partnership with no cotract. NO THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Mom says love is blind and I say that doesn't mean love has to be stupid.

 

[The Beautiful Heresy]

Yes, I am a bit picky. In the end I know that God is more than able to give me whoever it is that is "Best" for me.

We know what we want, but I prefer to trust God to give me what I "need".