A question for the guys...

[tina04]

I need some guys point of view here cause I am not sure what to do. I'll briefly explain.. I have been hanging out w/ this guy for about 4 months now on a regular basis and I have had some strong feelings for him, but am not sure if the feelings are mutual. Some days it seems like he is flirting and then other days he treats me like every other girl that he is around. If I was to honestly tell him how I felt would u be weirded out or actually glad that the girl came forward? What would it be for both cases
(1. if u liked her in return, and 2. u did not feel the same way)!

 

[Redguard]

Guys are flattered when a girl is the first to express her "more than a friend" feeling to them... well.. I was, when I was single.

 

[chuck010342]

I need some guys point of view here cause I am not sure what to do. I'll briefly explain.. I have been hanging out w/ this guy for about 4 months now on a regular basis and I have had some strong feelings for him, but am not sure if the feelings are mutual. Some days it seems like he is flirting and then other days he treats me like every other girl that he is around. If I was to honestly tell him how I felt would u be weirded out or actually glad that the girl came forward? What would it be for both cases
(1. if u liked her in return, and 2. u did not feel the same way)!

Why don't YOU ask him out?

 

[tina04]

I would rather to know that the feelings are mutual at first... Plus I dont think I have enough courage to ask a guy out. I think I will leave that for the guys to do!!

 

[chuck010342]

I would rather to know that the feelings are mutual at first... Plus I dont think I have enough courage to ask a guy out. I think I will leave that for the guys to do!!

why don't you ask him if his feelings are mutual for you?

if you want to leave it for the guys then...will you go out with me

 

[tina04]

why don't you ask him if his feelings are mutual for you?

if you want to leave it for the guys then...will you go out with me

I have been trying to debate whether to tell hime how I feel. But if the feeling is not mutual then I dont want him to get all weird and sabatage (sp?) our friendship. (Oh I wish guys were more like u and so upfront about things)!!

 

[chuck010342]

I have been trying to debate whether to tell hime how I feel. But if the feeling is not mutual then I dont want him to get all weird and sabatage (sp?) our friendship. (Oh I wish guys were more like u and so upfront about things)!!

how are you going to sabatage your friendship? Look English SUCKS. The world LOVE in English could mean many many things but in the Greek (hmm I wonder why the new testiment is written in greek?) The word Agape/Eros/Philo and Affection (I forget the greek for this last one) all mean love. Agape means love for God. Eros means erotic desire. Philos means friend ship. Philo means love for friends. Ask him if he Eros and Philos you. And if he really loves you philo then there is nothing you can say that would sabatage your relationship would it?

 

[tina04]

how are you going to sabatage your friendship? Look English SUCKS. The world LOVE in English could mean many many things but in the Greek (hmm I wonder why the new testiment is written in greek?) The word Agape/Eros/Philo and Affection (I forget the greek for this last one) all mean love. Agape means love for God. Eros means erotic desire. Philos means friend ship. Philo means love for friends. Ask him if he Eros and Philos you. And if he really loves you philo then there is nothing you can say that would sabatage your relationship would it?

I have never thought of it like that... But that might be cause I dont speak the Greek language!! lol I just dont want things to get all weird when I'm around him. But I have made up my mind that the next time that I see him (which will be tomorrow night) I will tell him how I feel. So please pray that it all goes well.

 

[chuck010342]

I have never thought of it like that... But that might be cause I dont speak the Greek language!! lol I just dont want things to get all weird when I'm around him. But I have made up my mind that the next time that I see him (which will be tomorrow night) I will tell him how I feel. So please pray that it all goes well.

good luck

 

[RabidYeti]

I recently told someone that I find them incredibly attractive, though I knew in the back of my mind that nothing would come of it (in a deeper relationship sense). Since them, although I am still attracted to her, we have become incredibly close friends (and nothing more) simply because we now feel that we can tell each other anything.

If you're feeling this way, sooner or later it will hinder your relationship, so it would be wise to tell him.

Also, if you're worried about it ruining your relationship, if the guy is cool, then he won't act as though its a big deal. If he goes hyper over it, you know he wasn't a wise choice anyway

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

tina, read my post titled i told her i had feelings for her, its a few posts down, if you dont take a chance you will never know. have faith and jump.

 

[Sketcher]

I need some guys point of view here cause I am not sure what to do. I'll briefly explain.. I have been hanging out w/ this guy for about 4 months now on a regular basis and I have had some strong feelings for him, but am not sure if the feelings are mutual. Some days it seems like he is flirting and then other days he treats me like every other girl that he is around. If I was to honestly tell him how I felt would u be weirded out or actually glad that the girl came forward? What would it be for both cases
(1. if u liked her in return, and 2. u did not feel the same way)!

If I liked her back, I'd be happy, though I might regret not having the guts to ask her out myself. If I didn't, I'd probably avoid her.

 

[tina04]

If I liked her back, I'd be happy, though I might regret not having the guts to ask her out myself. If I didn't, I'd probably avoid her.

See that is what I am afraid that will happen, that he will try and avoid me if the feelings are not mutual...

 

[Sketcher]

But for me, if I like a girl and the feelings are not mutual, I try to avoid her to get over it. If she's around, and especially talking to other guys, that makes it worse. So at least if I were you, I'd have nothing to lose.

 

[Sojourner<><]

I'd say go for it.

You could be extra nice to him and wait forever for him to warm up to you and maybe something might happen. But what if nothing happens?

Life's short! Take the chance and have fun with it.

 

[G4M5Y5]

I think you should go for it also. If you don't it's going to end up being more heart ache for you than anything else. (I know you asked for a guys opinion...sorry...just felt the need to speak up)

 

[renaistre]

"I don't date, I court."

But that doesn't really matter. If a girl told me that she liked me, I would like it. If I didn't really have feelings for her, I would probably use the fact that I don't date as an excuse to not continue things. It's kind of mean, but I don't know what else I could do that would not hurt her feelings any less. If she persisted in asking me how I felt, I would tell her the truth, and I could probably continue our friendship.

If I liked her as well, then I would still tell her that I don't date, but I would probably get more serious about beginning a courtship if I felt that the time was right.

My advice? Read Josh Harris's books. Then come back and start another thread with your reaction, and watch it grow exponentially as everyone debates.

 

[nahMish]

you dont have to make a speech: why dont you send him an email or a note or something? a small gift with a note wrapped around it?

an ex of mine let me know that he liked me by getting a bottle of softdrink (i think you guys call it soda in america) , wrapping a note around it that said "thought id offer you a drink !"....that was all ! id go for that option-something subtle, yet obvious and personal..anyway, good luck..whatever you decide on.

 

[Manda_24]

I have never thought of it like that... But that might be cause I dont speak the Greek language!! lol I just dont want things to get all weird when I'm around him. But I have made up my mind that the next time that I see him (which will be tomorrow night) I will tell him how I feel. So please pray that it all goes well.

hey, I'm just wondering if you ended up saying anything to him. I know exactly how you feel right now. I am in the same situation with one of my really good friends, I want to say something to him so badly but I have no idea what to say and I also don't want to ruin our friendship, you can pm me if you don't want to say on here.

 

[SelfProtect]

From a girls opinion...
Don't do it.
The guy is suppose to do the leading.
Let time tell.
Once I liked this guy for a year, it seemed to be progressing friendship-wise. Then I asked him out for coffee, he said he really apppreciated where I was spiritually but did not want to date. After that, the friendship dwindled on both our parts.
There is this other guy I've like for a year. But, I think, if he hasn't asked me out by now, he probably won't. Besides, why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want you bad enough to step out of their comfort zone and just ask OR is he just not that into you.
I've heard from other guys, that guys are NOT that complicated, if they like you, they will ask, if they don't, they won't.