A question for cradle Catholics

[Erose]

To all Cradle Catholics:

Here is my situation. I am a convert to the Catholic church and for that matter a convert to Christianity. When I converted to Christianity it was almost immediate conversion. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and move from Protestantism Catholicism.

Anyway here is my problem. I am raising two cradle Catholics. My kids obviously have been baptized and are going to religious education classes and I am reading the Bible with them and praying. My oldest has not grasped the faith though.

Anyway my question is this. For cradle Catholics is there a time in your life that you have that type of conversion I described or is it more like a gradual process? I am concerned for my oldest and I really don't know how to approach it for I wasn't raised Christian or Catholic so this is all new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

 

[MikeK]

There are as many answers as there are people, I suspect. How old is your oldest? I'm sure there are some who never question the faith they were brought up into, but the vast majority do.

Do what you can and don't beat yourself up. Christ walked among His followers and performed miracles and still many people didn't believe. If you're holding yourself to a higher standard than Christ you're going to be disapointed in yourself.

 

[Erose]

There are as many answers as there are people, I suspect. How old is your oldest? I'm sure there are some who never question the faith they were brought up into, but the vast majority do.

Do what you can and don't beat yourself up. Christ walked among His followers and performed miracles and still many people didn't believe. If you're holding yourself to a higher standard than Christ you're going to be disapointed in yourself.

Thanks for the response and he is 16. The big thing for me is that I really don't know how to raise a Catholic/Christian child because I can't look back into my youth for guidence if that makes any sense.

 

[Rebekka]

At 16 I think a lot of people question everything, including their faith. I'm a cradle catholic - with a faith crisis right now, too, so I may not be the best person to advise you - and at 16 I had become agnostic. I think it's part of growing up, finding your own path in life. But some people never had any doubts, my husband for example.

 

[Erose]

At 16 I think a lot of people question everything, including their faith. I'm a cradle catholic - with a faith crisis right now, too, so I may not be the best person to advise you - and at 16 I had become agnostic. I think it's part of growing up, finding your own path in life. But some people never had any doubts, my husband for example.

Thank you for responding. What faith crisis are you having now if you don't mind me asking? Maybe I can help.

 

[ivebeenshown]

Hi Erose. I am wondering about these things as well. I am a 'believing Catholic' but not a 'good practicing Catholic' if you know what I mean. I know I must turn to the Church and the Catholic lifestyle for my sake and the sake of my child.

It really is a weird thing with kids. My 15 year old sister is not just one who went along with what her parents believed. Both her and my mother have a very strong belief in Christ although they are 'Protestant.' I, however, never had a strong conviction until May of last year, when the Spirit smacked me real hard.

I can only imagine that the best thing we can do is to live the lifestyle, show the Gospel in action, and knowing a good bit of history and theology can't hurt either. The initiative belongs to the grace of God, so we must pray that the Spirit will never cease to guide us and our children.

 

[Rebekka]

Thank you for responding. What faith crisis are you having now if you don't mind me asking? Maybe I can help.

Thanks, but I think it's a bit too complicated for a message board, and has to do with my innate life view (pessimism) and the things that are happening now in my life. I'm waiting it out actually.

 

[Erose]

Hi Erose. I am wondering about these things as well. I am a 'believing Catholic' but not a 'good practicing Catholic' if you know what I mean. I know I must turn to the Church and the Catholic lifestyle for my sake and the sake of my child.

It really is a weird thing with kids. My 15 year old sister is not just one who went along with what her parents believed. Both her and my mother have a very strong belief in Christ although they are 'Protestant.' I, however, never had a strong conviction until May of last year, when the Spirit smacked me real hard.

I can only imagine that the best thing we can do is to live the lifestyle, show the Gospel in action, and knowing a good bit of history and theology can't hurt either. The initiative belongs to the grace of God, so we must pray that the Spirit will never cease to guide us and our children.

I think one of the problems I am dealing with is that with my oldest one he was baptized as an infant, but due to my pride and arrogance I fell from the church for a while to learn humility the hard way. During that time I wasn't a practising Catholic and it was only about 4 years ago that I have come back to home. So for much of his youth he was part of a nonpractising family. I think this is one of the reasons why he is having a difficult time while my youngest who was about 6 when we started going back to church is much more open to the faith. In fact he is an altar boy, praise be to God!

I don't know, I guess maybe I am doing what I need to do, but if there is something out there that I can do better to make a better impression on him, I am all ears.

God bless.

 

[Erose]

Thanks, but I think it's a bit too complicated for a message board, and has to do with my innate life view (pessimism) and the things that are happening now in my life. I'm waiting it out actually.

Dear sister, when I was in the Marines we had this great phrase we used to say all the time and that is "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!" There is much truth in this. Think about it. If you want to become physically stronger you do what? You work out and normally it doesn't feel good does it. Smarter you have to spend time reading detailed books that are boring and difficult to get through. It is also true spiritually as well. Trials and tribulations make us stronger spiritually if we let them.

Whatever adversity you are going through I recommend that you take advantage of it and grow from it. God sends us trials and tribulations for us to grow and I would recommend if you can, don't let a trial or tribulation go to waste. God bless you in your journey and I will pray for you.

 

[WarriorAngel]

To all Cradle Catholics:

Here is my situation. I am a convert to the Catholic church and for that matter a convert to Christianity. When I converted to Christianity it was almost immediate conversion. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and move from Protestantism Catholicism.

Anyway here is my problem. I am raising two cradle Catholics. My kids obviously have been baptized and are going to religious education classes and I am reading the Bible with them and praying. My oldest has not grasped the faith though.

Anyway my question is this. For cradle Catholics is there a time in your life that you have that type of conversion I described or is it more like a gradual process? I am concerned for my oldest and I really don't know how to approach it for I wasn't raised Christian or Catholic so this is all new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

Keep working on it, no one has the final grade til the next life but so long as you continue to teach it with prudence [dont over do it, dont under do it ] your child will get it.

The only way i know my kids are hearing me and beliving is by my priest who keeps telling me i did a good job.
Even tho my kids act like i dont.
My priest doesnt give me details but i suspect thru confessions he gathers they truly do believe.

I didnt admit or thank my parents for my faith. Shame of that, however. I think parents need to know they did ok.

As for my personal reversion experience, lets just say - when i was maturing emotionally and intellectually - was when God finally revealed the substance behind the words.

 

[WarriorAngel]

I think one of the problems I am dealing with is that with my oldest one he was baptized as an infant, but due to my pride and arrogance I fell from the church for a while to learn humility the hard way. During that time I wasn't a practising Catholic and it was only about 4 years ago that I have come back to home. So for much of his youth he was part of a nonpractising family. I think this is one of the reasons why he is having a difficult time while my youngest who was about 6 when we started going back to church is much more open to the faith. In fact he is an altar boy, praise be to God!

I don't know, I guess maybe I am doing what I need to do, but if there is something out there that I can do better to make a better impression on him, I am all ears.

God bless.

Humbly admit your mistake in not going.

 

[fhansen]

To all Cradle Catholics:

Here is my situation. I am a convert to the Catholic church and for that matter a convert to Christianity. When I converted to Christianity it was almost immediate conversion. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and move from Protestantism Catholicism.

Anyway here is my problem. I am raising two cradle Catholics. My kids obviously have been baptized and are going to religious education classes and I am reading the Bible with them and praying. My oldest has not grasped the faith though.

Anyway my question is this. For cradle Catholics is there a time in your life that you have that type of conversion I described or is it more like a gradual process? I am concerned for my oldest and I really don't know how to approach it for I wasn't raised Christian or Catholic so this is all new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

All people have different experiences. For myself, even though I was raised Catholic, I didn't begin to understand or believe until I was motivated to ask, seek, and knock on my own.

 

[FullyMT]

Going through doubts and not being sure about one's faith, especially in adolescence is normal for most cradle Catholics. Continue to nurture and support him in seeking out a relationship with God and that Catholicism is not a cookie-cutter faith. What is the parish youth ministry like? Is it balanced between catechesis, spirituality, and justice/service oriented activities? What is the Confirmation program like? What is he involved in with school? Now as much as ever, if not moreso, teens are being asked to navigate their identity amidst many different cultures and he is probably unsure of what to do with this. Be patient and invite (not force) him to study and prayer of his faith if he is struggling with any teachings of the Church. Help him to develop not just an understanding of the religion of Catholicism but Catholic spirituality (under which he can find myriads of tools to help him in his relationship with God). It may not be the smoothest road, but his formation process will be aided by it.

 

[WarriorAngel]

My kids act like they abhor my 'teaching them so much' but they secretly help their friends - and play it forward.

So what they act like - is one thing - dont be surprised how they are sponges even if you dont realize it.

 

[Kid A]

To all Cradle Catholics:

Here is my situation. I am a convert to the Catholic church and for that matter a convert to Christianity. When I converted to Christianity it was almost immediate conversion. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and move from Protestantism Catholicism.

Anyway here is my problem. I am raising two cradle Catholics. My kids obviously have been baptized and are going to religious education classes and I am reading the Bible with them and praying. My oldest has not grasped the faith though.

Anyway my question is this. For cradle Catholics is there a time in your life that you have that type of conversion I described or is it more like a gradual process? I am concerned for my oldest and I really don't know how to approach it for I wasn't raised Christian or Catholic so this is all new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

I think it's natural for someone born and raised Catholic to not grasp it or to even move away from it. I personally was raised Catholic, and as a teenager explored numerous faiths (Wicca, Hinduism, etc), and even as a Christian numerous denominations (Episcopalian, United Church of Christ... I even currently also attend the Metropolitan Community Church despite being Catholic, a good friend is the pastor. Though I get little from it spiritually). I think it is through lacking that grasp, and through my own spiritual journey of exploration, that my Catholic faith is stronger than ever.

 

[Starlightsobright]

To all Cradle Catholics:

Here is my situation. I am a convert to the Catholic church and for that matter a convert to Christianity. When I converted to Christianity it was almost immediate conversion. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and move from Protestantism Catholicism.

Anyway here is my problem. I am raising two cradle Catholics. My kids obviously have been baptized and are going to religious education classes and I am reading the Bible with them and praying. My oldest has not grasped the faith though.

Anyway my question is this. For cradle Catholics is there a time in your life that you have that type of conversion I described or is it more like a gradual process? I am concerned for my oldest and I really don't know how to approach it for I wasn't raised Christian or Catholic so this is all new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

Children evolve and grow. Their ideas change. They too have Free Will and we can't impose our Faith on them. My children have had a private School Catholic Education from the age of 4 to 17, they have been to church all their lives and received all the Sacraments but my husband and I have allowed them to exercise Free Will to practise Religion or the Faith. They are 18 and over. It seems strange going to church on our own but they do come on Easter, Christmas and special occasions. I was told to stop worrying, keep praying and that they eventually come Home especially when thy have children of thier own.

 

[Starlightsobright]

I think it's natural for someone born and raised Catholic to not grasp it or to even move away from it. I personally was raised Catholic, and as a teenager explored numerous faiths (Wicca, Hinduism, etc), and even as a Christian numerous denominations (Episcopalian, United Church of Christ... I even currently also attend the Metropolitan Community Church despite being Catholic, a good friend is the pastor. Though I get little from it spiritually). I think it is through lacking that grasp, and through my own spiritual journey of exploration, that my Catholic faith is stronger than ever.

Well written

 

[Erose]

Thanks everybody for your comments. I will take them to heart and meditate upon them. God bless you and keep you until the end.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Tying to force a teenager to go to Church and be a good Catholic after you've let it slide for most of his life for most will be a train wreck.

When I taught Confirmation, I had a girl in my class of high-school 11th graders, who had not been to Church since her first Communion. She had never been to Confession. The mother suddenly felt the need for religion in her life and so forced the entire family to go to Mass with her. Of course the kids rebelled and the husband, not really caring about getting back with the Church, was no help.

The result, the daughter hated coming to Confirmation Classes so much, she became rude and disrupting in class. She was the first student I ever had to ask to leave my class. We had a meeting with the parents and later the mother called me and we had a one on one conversation where I got all the information on their family situation.

The bottom line is, at 16, such a child needs to find faith themselves and the worse that you can do is force religion on them.

Instead, be an example for them, so that they'll have someone positive to think about when the questions of God come up in their lives.

FYI, I taught Confirmation for about 10 years. When my daughter was 16 she wanted nothing to do with it. I had to give her the freedom to choose Jesus or not. She chose not to.

However, at age 20, she suddenly had a faith experience which brought her back to the Church and she was Confirmed. Her Confirmation was more meaningful than any of the kids that were forced to attend CCD classes and receive the Sacrament.

So, don't try to force feed religion to a 16 year old, who hasn't been raised with it, for they are at a point in their life where faith has to be something they seek for themselves.

Jim

 

[Fran75]

It is emotionally healthy and normal for teenagers to questions what they have learned about life so far including religion and morality they need to do this to mature into adults. Try not to worry too, much what you teach and more importantly do does have a huge impact on your children even if you don't see the fruits of your hard work now that influence is part of who they are even if it takes years for you to notice, however like one of the previous posters said it undoublty comes out now but in less obvious ways. The fact that you have not always been part of the Church is not nessicarily a bad thing it shows that you can question it but that your answer was ultimately that the Catholic faith was the correct choice for you, that you wern't blindly following tradition.