A question about procedures regarding funerals

[Jesus is my Superhero]

I have a childhood friend that keeps contacting me by e-mail seeking to re-establish our friendship, but hasn't stopped abusing alcohol and who knows what else. I explained to him politely that I love him and wish him the best but that my sobriety is one of the most important things in my life and I must protect myself from questionable environments.
As a Christian I need to question where some of these people get their incentive for wishing to seek out a long forgotten friendship that was based on partying.

edit: This is in response to mindfulzen asking if he should meet with a former friend or acquaintance and was seeking advice. It does seem a bit out of place, I should have included quotes.

 

[Paidiske]

Generally speaking, it will be the executor of your will who will make decisions about your funeral. If you die without a will, it will be your legal next of kin, although they may or may not choose to share that responsibility with other family members.

Usually, that family member (or the funeral director on their behalf) will contact your place of worship to make arrangements. The best way to make sure that your wishes are followed is to set them out in your will, and also to leave them on file with both the funeral director and your place of worship. (You can document your wishes in this way without making a will; I typically keep a file of what people have told me about their wishes for their funeral services, that I can discuss with the family when the time comes). That way everyone is aware of your wishes and on the same page.

This is, of course, not an absolute guarantee; sometimes what people said they wanted turns out not to be practicable at the time (for example, I recently took a funeral where the deceased person wanted a particular priest to take the funeral, but that priest has since left the priesthood, so that was not an option).

 

[com7fy8]

Well, I am in the coffin in the church or the temple, right?

Your body is not you. If we trust ourselves to Jesus, He will decide where we will be spiritually, while our bodies are wherever. People can kill our bodies and put them wherever they do, but they can't control where our souls will be.

Do you know the scripture where Jesus says enemies can kill your body, but that is all they can do?

So I can get angry for overruling my wishes before I go, and then I will be barred from entering heaven. So, bit of a risk.

No, now is our time to get with God, so wrong people can not get power over us.

"the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (in James 1:20)

So, now is our time to be changed by our Heavenly Father so evil people can not get us angry in a bad way.

So, you are right that unforgiving and nasty and abusive anger is wrong; but we have God as our Father to deeply correct us so wrong stuff can not get the better of us. And do not fear wrong people.

there are a lot of people who have testimonies about feeling the presence of the deceased at funerals. Who knows. A gamble with the soul that way.

Yes, ones might feel people the way they experienced them. But may be you already know how you can feel a person a certain way, but then find out that is not the way that person really is . . . right? So, they might be feeling some deceiving spirit, and not how that dead person really was. And God might have taken that person somewhere else. Making things up can't change that.

Plus, by the way, you have said you don't trust a lot of these people you know; so why trust what they say? And in case you do not really know someone who tells you some thing . . . we do not need to assume what they tell us.

"Test all things; hold fast what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

And I do not think it is a good energy if people who I resented come, or who resent me. I believe such emotions are kind of like anchors that will keep you from going to heaven. Your soul might lose focus. Your heart may fail your soul.

Again, like I say, we need to get with God now, so evil people can not have power over us.

"And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good?" (1 Peter 3:13)

In our basic Christianity, we confess how Jesus Christ is God's own Son and Jesus is the Lord of all. This means He rules with all good power over all; so we trust Him to decide what happens to us. And the best benefit of Jesus Christ's rule is how He rules us in His own peace in our hearts >

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)

And this peace almighty protects our minds and hearts > while we are subject to God and pray the way He has us praying >

"the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (in Philippians 4:6-7)

So, don't trust stuff that tells you otherwise. You say you won't let people use lies to get into your house. Well, do not allow anger and unforgiveness and fear to use lies to get into your heart and mind! Do not trust that; trust how our Heavenly Father personally rules each of us in His own peace >

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29)

Therefore, with Jesus we can refuse to let wrong people and wrong emotions get power over us. And learn how to love God's children as family. There are people of this evil world who do not know how to love. But we grow with each other and we offer our example to help evil people to become adopted as God's children.

Jesus died with hope for evil people to be saved and to join us; because Jesus is so greater and yet He is not conceited, so He has hope for any evil stubborn impossible person. Love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7).

So, yes we have failed to obey this. But now God is able to bring us through real correction so we may share with Him and with one another who are His caring and sharing family, and not lose hope for any of this world's evil people. But pray and bless.

 

[mindfulzen]

I have a childhood friend that keeps contacting me by e-mail seeking to re-establish our friendship, but hasn't stopped abusing alcohol and who knows what else. I explained to him politely that I love him and wish him the best but that my sobriety is one of the most important things in my life and I must protect myself from questionable environments.
As a Christian I need to question where some of these people get their incentive for wishing to seek out a long forgotten friendship that was based on partying.

edit: This is in response to mindfulzen asking if he should meet with a former friend or acquaintance and was seeking advice. It does seem a bit out of place, I should have included quotes.

Tip for you, if you start a new reply with me, and cut the quotecode at the top of your commentbox, you can paste it in this reply, over the quotecode containing your name. Then it should change, and be directed at me.

You understand the issue in that regard. It is hard for others to understand, when you unpack 20 years of life, and how it has altered. And one question about one thing, gets affected by other variables, that makes it a NOGO for other reasons. And it is one thing to speak of online, another in real life, with people you cannot trust. If my parents are played, and think it will do me good to see my 2 old buddies, that it ended badly with, without knowing they use pills and powder, and god knows what now. I cannot be honest with them, and betray them. One of them is my parents nephew, so not right, and he is weak and in a position too.

Anyway, I did arrange to meet up with his mother sometime next week, so I might bump into him "by accident" haha. She immideately tried to include him, and I shut it down and said I did a one on one with her. I have no clue if she will respect that. He lives in her basement, so I will probably knock on the door and ask how he is doing, and if there is something unresolved that is important to know for him. And perhaps I do the same with the other buddy in a few months time, he sounded like he was not doing well in the phonecall he took to me before christmas. If he is tormented with guilt, and needs some resolution to get peace, maybe I could give that. Poor guy had powder and pills all over the table the last time I saw him, and like 2-3 years after that, his house was for sale, and he moved into the retirementhome's apartments.

I will not get tempted by drugs I think, in the call with my buddy ate the retirementhom, he asked if I wanted to get some hash and some pills, and he had gotten some shipped, I refused. That way I can do some good for them, and I can perhaps get my surroundings to stop trying to manipulate me into interacting with drugbuddies. Which also helps me, which in turn should help them. If they have anger and are emotional, then so be it. What will be, will be.

 

[mindfulzen]

Generally speaking, it will be the executor of your will who will make decisions about your funeral. If you die without a will, it will be your legal next of kin, although they may or may not choose to share that responsibility with other family members.

Usually, that family member (or the funeral director on their behalf) will contact your place of worship to make arrangements. The best way to make sure that your wishes are followed is to set them out in your will, and also to leave them on file with both the funeral director and your place of worship. (You can document your wishes in this way without making a will; I typically keep a file of what people have told me about their wishes for their funeral services, that I can discuss with the family when the time comes). That way everyone is aware of your wishes and on the same page.

This is, of course, not an absolute guarantee; sometimes what people said they wanted turns out not to be practicable at the time (for example, I recently took a funeral where the deceased person wanted a particular priest to take the funeral, but that priest has since left the priesthood, so that was not an option).

Thank you, this clears it all up, and easier than I imagined. All I have to do is shop around for a church. And have a sitdown with some clergyperson, for now.

 

[com7fy8]

I do not think it is a good energy if people who I resented come, or who resent me. I believe such emotions are kind of like anchors that will keep you from going to heaven. Your soul might lose focus. Your heart may fail your soul.

But it is written >

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;" in the Twenty-third Psalm . . . in Psalm 23:5.

"Du dekker bord for mig like for mine fienders øine," (i Sal 23:5)

So, we can be in the presence of any enemies, at all, and God is able to protect us and bless us with all He desires to share with us, of His own table prepared before us.

This does not depend on how spiritual we are. God is spiritual enough, and God is strong enough! But if we live in God's love, this love has almighty strength being shared with us, plus God's creativity for how to love each and every person.

And with God we can overcome any evil, at all >

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21)

"La dig ikke overvinne av det onde, men overvinn det onde med det gode!" (Romerne 12:21)

Therefore, do not trust how evil emotions and evil imaginations of people lie to you; do not let them control your mind and heart! Those imaginations of wrong people are lying to you, including they lie about where your attention needs to be. So, kick them out and give your attention to God in His peace.

With God this is possible, and I have shared scripture so we can see that this is basic Bible and basic Christianity. So, do not trust and worship any excuses that tell you otherwise.

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might." (Ephesians 6:10)

"For øvrig - bli sterke i Herren og i hans veldes kraft!" (Efeserne 6:10)

Jesus makes us strong against unforgiveness and wrong anger. And now we can have the best life ever . . . starting fresh now with God. And have mercy for ones who have lived in a bad way. They do not know how to love; they are missing out on so much. But with prayer and good example we can help them. And we can discover others who help us to do this.

 

[mindfulzen]

Your body is not you. If we trust ourselves to Jesus, He will decide where we will be spiritually, while our bodies are wherever. People can kill our bodies and put them wherever they do, but they can't control where our souls will be.

Do you know the scripture where Jesus says enemies can kill your body, but that is all they can do?

No, now is our time to get with God, so wrong people can not get power over us.

"the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (in James 1:20)

So, now is our time to be changed by our Heavenly Father so evil people can not get us angry in a bad way.

So, you are right that unforgiving and nasty and abusive anger is wrong; but we have God as our Father to deeply correct us so wrong stuff can not get the better of us. And do not fear wrong people.

Yes, ones might feel people the way they experienced them. But may be you already know how you can feel a person a certain way, but then find out that is not the way that person really is . . . right? So, they might be feeling some deceiving spirit, and not how that dead person really was. And God might have taken that person somewhere else. Making things up can't change that.

Plus, by the way, you have said you don't trust a lot of these people you know; so why trust what they say? And in case you do not really know someone who tells you some thing . . . we do not need to assume what they tell us.

"Test all things; hold fast what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

Again, like I say, we need to get with God now, so evil people can not have power over us.

"And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good?" (1 Peter 3:13)

In our basic Christianity, we confess how Jesus Christ is God's own Son and Jesus is the Lord of all. This means He rules with all good power over all; so we trust Him to decide what happens to us. And the best benefit of Jesus Christ's rule is how He rules us in His own peace in our hearts >

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)

And this peace almighty protects our minds and hearts > while we are subject to God and pray the way He has us praying >

"the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (in Philippians 4:6-7)

So, don't trust stuff that tells you otherwise. You say you won't let people use lies to get into your house. Well, do not allow anger and unforgiveness and fear to use lies to get into your heart and mind! Do not trust that; trust how our Heavenly Father personally rules each of us in His own peace >

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29)

Therefore, with Jesus we can refuse to let wrong people and wrong emotions get power over us. And learn how to love God's children as family. There are people of this evil world who do not know how to love. But we grow with each other and we offer our example to help evil people to become adopted as God's children.

Jesus died with hope for evil people to be saved and to join us; because Jesus is so greater and yet He is not conceited, so He has hope for any evil stubborn impossible person. Love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7).

So, yes we have failed to obey this. But now God is able to bring us through real correction so we may share with Him and with one another who are His caring and sharing family, and not lose hope for any of this world's evil people. But pray and bless.

I am undecided about when the soul leaves the body. I am a bit supersticious and have a strong sense that we stay and attend our funerals with all the people that mattered in our lives. As Jesus did, he did not go straight to heaven, he was in a tomb, then he awoke, and later left. I think we stay for 7 days and get to observe how our death impacted others, to see what impact we had on their lives. That way, we can leave with a smile and a feeling of bliss.

I know that verse somewhat, heard and read, do no know it by heart. Is this in the verses where he says, "no man taketh my life, I lay it down voulentarily", or something similar?

I might be wrong, and the soul just leaves after the flesh dies. But I feel it is best to clear up the mess, so I have a certainty, since I currently think we stick around for 7 days as observers. I do not believe what they tell me, or what they might say if this came about. I view it more as silent observation, where we read their true emotions, that were never totally unraveled in life. That we read their hearts, as God reads ours. So we become one with God, a voiceless voice. This may not be conventional for you, but I have been preached that God speaks without words, and if you are spoken to with words, it is the devil speaking to you, or you may be schizophrenic. And there is something about "and all shall be revealed to you"

The stuff about not letting any liars and manipulators into my house, that is because we should not invite in deceivers to our lives. If I invite somebody into my house, I invite them into my life. Also, weak people, as they are, is easily used by the devil. And they are currently being used for evil, so unwise. Especially since I live in a haunted house. And seeing as I got angry in the past, when I was weak and let them invade my life, I know that feeling might come again, if I should not just feel pity for them, since they are blind and cannot see, and do not know what they do. So, I can only have mercy, and shield them from their foolishness.

There is some really funny stuff in this, that I might tell later. Regarding why they want to get into the house, for a reasons they do not know. And a fun little game we have played over the years, while I left my shell of a body for some years, so to speak, and just observed them. I might do it in PM, if you want to know more about the situation. But not sure I shall dump all here, and it is a bit off topic perhaps. Funny, sad, and very interesting, I could write a good screenplay about it.

 

[com7fy8]

I know that verse somewhat, heard and read, do no know it by heart. Is this in the verses where he says, "no man taketh my life, I lay it down voulentarily", or something similar?

That is a good scripture, too, which we can use. Jesus is our Lord and in us He is able to control our lives so no one can take our lives.

The scripture I mean is >

"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

This Jesus speaking . . . Matthew 10:28.

Jesus in us is more powerful than any evil power that would try to destroy our souls and get us away from Jesus >

"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

"I er av Gud, mine barn, og har seiret over dem; for han som er i eder, er større enn han som er i verden." (1 Johannes 4:4)

 

[mindfulzen]

That is a good scripture, too, which we can use. Jesus is our Lord and in us He is able to control our lives so no one can take our lives.

The scripture I mean is >

"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

This Jesus speaking . . . Matthew 10:28.

Jesus in us is more powerful than any evil power that would try to destroy our souls and get us away from Jesus >

"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

"I er av Gud, mine barn, og har seiret over dem; for han som er i eder, er større enn han som er i verden." (1 Johannes 4:4)

Just had to pop over to my family, and say hello to mother who was home for a visit. It was exhausting. So draining. Lost energy and focus. Opened up up your link, and that is all very clear and known. The first one however, does not seem to be for me. I have learned that we shall not fear the devil, if anything, we shall mock him. But if I called him names here, I might get banned, and I should not mock. By fearing the devil, you open the gate to hell, and your spirit becomes unclean. I read that you should only fear God. And eventually wqe must lose that fear too, and only feel perfect love.