- Jan 3, 2007
- 147
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- Faith
- Christian
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- US-Republican
I have been a believer in Jesus for many years, for as long as I can recall, I believed in Him and the Good News He brings. Yet, for as long as I can remember, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I was filled with evil. I lied to my parents almost daily, to my friends as well, I became addicted to pornography, violence, even plotted to destroy people's lives, and caused much fighting between friends through my lies and slander. By far my worst act was turning to witchcraft and sorcery during my father's passing as I shunned him in his most needy time as he was dying of cancer. This went so far as to, after my dad's death, allow a demon into our household. For months I thought my schizophrenia was causing me to see things, hear things, have terrible, unthinkable thoughts put into my mind, but then one night, my mother and I both were witness to something that is not naturally possible, and my mother and pastor blessed our house, and the demon was gone forever. It must have been angered when I began to turn back to God instead of the occult, thus why it became violent.
Anyway, now, at 22 years of age, I have finally felt the Holy Spirit. The Lord has given me commands. And due to my past with demons, I can tell it isn't a demon speaking to me, nor is it a hallucination. The Lord commanded me; you should not marry. Go, leave the country and go to a needy country which language you have learned in the past 5 years (Japan, only 1% Christian population), and witness there. I asked how I could do that when I am so restricted by obsessive compulsive disorder (long story), but He entered into me and gave me the assurance that when I leave, I will be cured and find a path to what He has commanded me to do.
Never before have I felt such strong belief in anything. I will do as the Lord commands, but I must gather my strength.
Please, pray not for me, but for the plan to be carried out, and pray for Japan.
I no longer feel the desire to do the evil I once did. Tonight I confessed every sin to Him, and said "Lord, if you must punish me, or burden me with more illnesses so as to complete your plan, I will never be angry with You, so please, place any burden on me that you require." I am now ready for anything, and even said that to Him while I already have multiple sclerosis, neuropathy, nerve damage, an injury to my shoulder, and constant nerve pain and intermittent peripheral nerve feeling loss due to nerve damage to my spinal cord near my neck. Yet, I feel totally willing to take on anything He sends at me. If it is needed in His plan, I will accept it, and what I need is prayer, prayer that I will remain strong like this and never give in.
Thank you all, and I'm sorry for the long message, but I am a man of words.
God bless,
Chris
Anyway, now, at 22 years of age, I have finally felt the Holy Spirit. The Lord has given me commands. And due to my past with demons, I can tell it isn't a demon speaking to me, nor is it a hallucination. The Lord commanded me; you should not marry. Go, leave the country and go to a needy country which language you have learned in the past 5 years (Japan, only 1% Christian population), and witness there. I asked how I could do that when I am so restricted by obsessive compulsive disorder (long story), but He entered into me and gave me the assurance that when I leave, I will be cured and find a path to what He has commanded me to do.
Never before have I felt such strong belief in anything. I will do as the Lord commands, but I must gather my strength.
Please, pray not for me, but for the plan to be carried out, and pray for Japan.
I no longer feel the desire to do the evil I once did. Tonight I confessed every sin to Him, and said "Lord, if you must punish me, or burden me with more illnesses so as to complete your plan, I will never be angry with You, so please, place any burden on me that you require." I am now ready for anything, and even said that to Him while I already have multiple sclerosis, neuropathy, nerve damage, an injury to my shoulder, and constant nerve pain and intermittent peripheral nerve feeling loss due to nerve damage to my spinal cord near my neck. Yet, I feel totally willing to take on anything He sends at me. If it is needed in His plan, I will accept it, and what I need is prayer, prayer that I will remain strong like this and never give in.
Thank you all, and I'm sorry for the long message, but I am a man of words.
God bless,
Chris
