LETTER TO A PARENT ABOUT YOUNG PEOPLE
Dear_________: I understand your concerns. It appears to me to be very important that every Christian parent set an appropriate time and appropriate place, to talk with their pre-adolescent and teenage children about issues of life. With such things as street drugs, tobacco, alcohol, pre-marital sex on the increase, our children are under attack and at greater risk today than ever before. Certainly we need to emphasize the importance of honoring the Lord. For children who have been reared close to the Lord and close to their parents, many of these Godly truths are already understood and appreciated, but we should not take such matters for granted.
Increasing immoral and permissive value systems in our society, and greater freedoms being encouraged by humanistic philosophies, is teaching children it is acceptable to begin experimenting with their own lives and destinies before they are mature and properly emancipated from the home. This undermines efforts by the parents to teach sound values, and leaves our youth challenging their parents, saying: "Everybody is doing it" (which is always the concern of young people). As an old grandfather I have heard that remark for years, but I perceive the influence and dangers are greater today.
As a guide to this vital conference, my friend, I will share some thoughts I believe are important:
A. At an appropriate time, and apart from distractions, parents ought to have a little conference about the future with only their teenagers present---early teens is best. To avoid anxiety and concerns it ought to be done with little advance notice and discussion, I believe. It may be better for one parent to take the youth aside for a chat, while the other entertains younger children. One should not be apprehensive---just do it prayerfully. Young people expect some guidance, though pride often does not allow much show of appreciation.
B. The talk, or discussion, should be pleasant, relaxed, a discussion and not a lecture. It must be a casual and supportive thing. One might make a short list of important subjects, if it will help.
C. However the meeting is handled, the issues ought to be their future plans, seeking to honor the Lord, the good and bad influences around them, social and sexual maturity, and dangers of bad choices. These are critical issues in our society.
1. One might ask the youth if they have thought any about what they want to be doing with their life. If they are not used to open discussions with the parents, they may just "grunt or mumble" an answer. Be patient and supportive.
2. It could begin by saying you just want to talk about some issues of life: schooling, college or technical school, or other career plans, good and bad influences, some dangers and pitfalls, etc.
3. It is important that they at least understand you are interested in things going well for them, and you want to be a help and always ready and open to discuss things as they face issues.
4. It is important that you talk about good and bad influences of their peers, and the need to "stand on one's own two feet" and make sound decisions, rather than follow the crowd. Ask what they think about that, and if they find it possible.
5. It is important to remind them that as they mature they are going to be looking at other boys and girls and learning to relate properly to them; and they need to understand that social relations doesn't mean following the group, reckless and wild behavior, being popular, abusing their bodies, etc. That is not good social relations, but animal behavior, and dangerous, and certainly not pleasing to God. They need to practice being pleasant to all and showing common courtesies, but not just a follower.
6. It is important that they be reminded of the need to stay close to the Lord, and seek to honor Him in all things that they say or do or think. He will then guide one.
7. The importance of setting good goals and values and habits early will direct their lives and help keep them from trouble. Much prayer for them is very important.
I hope these few thoughts will be of some help.
- Sincerely in Christ, R. DeWitt, 3/06: from biblecounsel.net
