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A Pagan goes to Heaven

May 18, 2011
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A Pagan dies and goes up to heaven. There is St Peter at the Pearly gates. He invites the Pagan in and offers to show him around.

The Pagan sees a whole pile of Vikings who are having a big party with mead and tossing axes. Then he sees a whole pile of Hindus who are dancing and decorated out with bright colors. Then he sees more Pagans who are having a medieval festival.

Every where he goes people are dancing, laughing and having fun. He notices that there is one really small corner which nobody goes to. Across the corner is a curtain. So the Pagan asks St Peter what is the curtain for. So St Peter says...

"That is for the Christians. They like to think they are the only ones here..."

Here is another version

A Pagan died and, much to her surprise, found herself at the Pearly Gates facing St. Peter. He walked up to her and said, "Hello, and welcome."

She stared at St. Peter in complete confusion. "Wait a minute," she said. "I was supposed to end up in the Summerlands."

He smiled. "Ah, you must be one of our Pagan sisters. Follow me, please."

Peter gestured for her to follow him down a small path which went through the gates and down a bit to the left. They walked for a short while, then he stepped back and gestured her forward. Looking past his hand, she saw the verdant fields and forests of her desired Summerlands. She saw people feasting, dancing, and making merry, exactly as she expected.

While shaking her head in wonder, the Pagan happened to glance over to one side and saw a small group of people a short way away from the edge of the Summerlands. The people in the group were watching the revelers, but not joining them. Instead, they were screaming and weeping piteously.

The Pagan looked at St. Peter. "Who are those people?"

St. Peter replied, "Them? They're fundamentalists. They're a bit surprised to see you all there, so they stand there and carry on like that all day."

"Why? Don't they have better things to do?"

Peter leaned conspiratorially toward her. "They don't really have a choice. They're actually in Hell. God doesn't like being told what He thinks."
 

amandatea

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A Pagan dies and goes up to heaven. There is St Peter at the Pearly gates. He invites the Pagan in and offers to show him around.

The Pagan sees a whole pile of Vikings who are having a big party with mead and tossing axes. Then he sees a whole pile of Hindus who are dancing and decorated out with bright colors. Then he sees more Pagans who are having a medieval festival.

Every where he goes people are dancing, laughing and having fun. He notices that there is one really small corner which nobody goes to. Across the corner is a curtain. So the Pagan asks St Peter what is the curtain for. So St Peter says...

"That is for the Christians. They like to think they are the only ones here..."

Here is another version

A Pagan died and, much to her surprise, found herself at the Pearly Gates facing St. Peter. He walked up to her and said, "Hello, and welcome."

She stared at St. Peter in complete confusion. "Wait a minute," she said. "I was supposed to end up in the Summerlands."

He smiled. "Ah, you must be one of our Pagan sisters. Follow me, please."

Peter gestured for her to follow him down a small path which went through the gates and down a bit to the left. They walked for a short while, then he stepped back and gestured her forward. Looking past his hand, she saw the verdant fields and forests of her desired Summerlands. She saw people feasting, dancing, and making merry, exactly as she expected.

While shaking her head in wonder, the Pagan happened to glance over to one side and saw a small group of people a short way away from the edge of the Summerlands. The people in the group were watching the revelers, but not joining them. Instead, they were screaming and weeping piteously.

The Pagan looked at St. Peter. "Who are those people?"

St. Peter replied, "Them? They're fundamentalists. They're a bit surprised to see you all there, so they stand there and carry on like that all day."

"Why? Don't they have better things to do?"

Peter leaned conspiratorially toward her. "They don't really have a choice. They're actually in Hell. God doesn't like being told what He thinks."



Not even close to being funny. Not even in the same universe.
 
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webofiron

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Seriously...I pray that it comes around for you. We do not get to make a vision of Heaven that fits what we believe it, to make it easier for us to get there. The Bible is clear on what it will be like, and who will be there. To make light of that, and to insult those who believe is just wrong, and this is really not the place for it either. I wonder what you were hoping to accomplish with that...
 
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