A non-sinful act, but won't do it regardless

[Mathetes66]

Just a novel idea concerning the ancient marriage ceremony:

'You may NOW kiss the bride.'

 

[ThisIsMe123]

if this same woman is going out of her way to spend time with you as much as possible then she's clearly interested in you even if she doesn't kiss you.

Going to have to disagree with you there. It means she's friend zoned you. If a woman isn't kissing a man, it means she doesn't see him as an actual relationship/dating prospect. Just a platonic buddy to pal around with.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Going to have to disagree with you there. It means she's friend zoned you. If a woman isn't kissing a man, it means she doesn't see him as an actual relationship/dating prospect. Just a platonic buddy to pal around with.

even when she's talking about both your futures together as married couples, even talking about what you're gonna name your children and how you would raise them?

 

[ThisIsMe123]

even when she talking about both your futures together as married couples, even talking about what you're gonna name your children and how you would raise them?

Well, we would not have been together long enough to have that conversation...because if kissing hadn't happened by that time, that discussion would not even be occurring.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Well, we would not have been together long enough to have that conversation...because if kissing hadn't happened by that time, that discussion would not even be occurring.

but you concede if these conversations took place there is romantic interest even without a kiss..

 

[ThisIsMe123]

but you concede if these conversations took place there is romantic interest even without a kiss..

Let's meet in the middle, and perhaps there are other forms of physical affection. Like hand holding or cuddling (no kissing). Then I'd concede she's serious about her interest in me.

 

[blackribbon]

Going to have to disagree with you there. It means she's friend zoned you. If a woman isn't kissing a man, it means she doesn't see him as an actual relationship/dating prospect. Just a platonic buddy to pal around with.

So a woman is required to make out with you before marriage to show she is interested in you? ??? I say "make out" because since women do kiss grandmothers, brothers, children, and dogs, I assume you are talking about a specific type of kissing.

I suspect at least part of the reason you haven't found a Christian woman who is interested in a committed relationship is evident.

 

[bèlla]

@ThisIsMe123

What is your love language? Is it physical touch by chance?

~Bella

 

[ThisIsMe123]

@ThisIsMe123

What is your love language? Is it physical touch by chance?

~Bella

Yes.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

So a woman is required to make out with you before marriage to show she is interested in you? ??? I say "make out" because since women do kiss grandmothers, brothers, children, and dogs, I assume you are talking about a specific type of kissing.

Now you're really just reaching here.... and/or splitting hairs. I'm done with this thread.

 

[bèlla]

Yes.

It’s understandable how the absence of touch can be perceived as rejection when that’s the form of relating you value most.

When I see that from the perspective of holiness and how you’re bettered through the connection. I think the ideal companion is someone who touches you on all levels.

Physical touch may be the gateway, but the others may be more transformative. And I would seek the person who took the road less traveled. I’d want the one who pursued my heart and soul. If they’re the hardest to unlock, you’d want someone willing to stay the course until you open.

~Bella

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

It’s understandable how the absence of touch can be perceived as rejection when that’s the form of relating you value most.

When I see that from the perspective of holiness and how you’re bettered through the connection. I think the ideal companion is someone who touches you on all levels.

Physical touch may be the gateway, but the others may be more transformative. And I would seek the person who took the road less traveled. I’d want the one who pursued my heart and soul. If they’re the hardest to unlock, you’d want someone willing to stay the course until you open.

~Bella

the female I almost ended up marrying was a female I never kissed or even seen in person(this was an LDR). we definitely had mutual romantic interest due to the time we spent talking, sending each other pictures(nothing erotic), studying scripture together, and the plans we had made for marriage and children.

people have their preferences, but there's definitely ways to affirm romantic interest that don't involve physical touch.

 

[bèlla]

the female I almost ended up marrying was a female I never kissed or even seen in person(this was an LDR). we definitely had mutual romantic interest due to the time we spent talking, sending each other pictures(nothing erotic), studying scripture together, and the plans we had made for marriage and children.

people have their preferences, but there's definitely ways to affirm romantic interest that don't involve physical touch.

I agree. I’ve been in LDR’s in the past. I discovered a lot about companionship and attending to the other’s needs through those connections.

That’s a beautiful picture of togetherness. I hope you have it once more.

~Bella

 

[blackribbon]

Well, we would not have been together long enough to have that conversation...because if kissing hadn't happened by that time, that discussion would not even be occurring.

So kissing/making out is a requirement of the woman you marry. You can't even image getting to the point of discussing a future without a form of sexual contact (again, assuming you aren't referring to the kiss your grandmother or dog type of kiss of love).

This is more than kissing to show affection. This is kissing for the physically gratifying sensation of a romantic kiss. It is a selfish kiss if you are not in an already committed relationship.

I am not harassing you but rather presenting something to think about. Especially since you continuously post about Christian women you find fault with because they aren't open to dating you for a wide variety of reasons.

Why do you believe that even though you are actively looking and date a lot, that you haven't found a woman to be in a long term relationship with?

 

[createdtoworship]

In all my life, I have never met a Christian like this one. We went out one time, spent the day together, had a nice time. We had met at a Church singles group (this was a good while ago, just pontificated this).

I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm begrudging her for believing this. But I was like "Really?!"

She reveals to me that she never plans on kissing anyone until her wedding day. I looked at her like she had 2-heads and asked her why, since it's not a sin.

And she said something about wanting to keep that day special.

Anyways, it didn't work out, for obvious reasons, as we did not align in our beliefs in that area. Just like I don't align with Christians that won't date a person that likes to have a beer on occasion, but the no kissing before marriage was a new one.

I shared this with my Christian friends, and they too, were shocked at this. We theorized it was just that she feared intimacy and was using her religion as an excuse to not get physical. Basically, she was just shy and it had nothing to do with God. That something may be a little off about that person if they sincerely believe this.

I mean, I want to meet a Christian woman, but with that, I tend to encounter these kinds of experiences. It's like they want to live a Amish lifestyle or something?

sir I respect your view that kissing should be a liberty. But unfortunately kissing for me, was just a gateway to more sinful things. Heavy petting, and worse. It starts at just a kiss, until the kiss gets boring. My first girlfriend in highschool was a leader in the youthgroup at church. And she taught me how to kiss. Then one day she said to me. "do all you know how to do is kiss?" Well that to me was the green light. But it was not God saying that. That was her sinful desire. See she had a relationship before me, and she probably did some not so great things. But ever since that day, I struggled with purity all the way up until the Lord provided me a wife. This ruined many relationships by impurity before I was 25 years of age. I was engaged three times, each time the girl broke it off. God was breaking me for being unpure. I never had sex, but I did everything possible besides sex. As many christians do. The girls though making out was perfectly acceptable, but not anything else. And for a guy, making out is just a passage way to more sin. You can't just do one without the other, but the girls were perfectly fine with just making out and that was somehow their perfect affection. Once we got that far, I couldn't stop. And I don't think many men can. I don't think I know of any off hand. So if we are to be pure, it must be before making out, and before kissing in general. Like I said, if you can kiss and that is it. And do it repeatedly without having a desire to do something new and exciting, then by all means kiss her. But most likely that will not be enough. Because kissing is sexual. And any and all intimacy is to be done in a marriage. That is just my opinion, and I can't quote a verse that says kissing is a sin. It's not, but anything other than that is. And after awhile kissing won't be good enough. I mean how many different ways can you kiss, say a hundred, really really optimistically. Seeing your girlfriend every day for a year, well you have ran through all of that relatively quickly. You see where I am going. Most likely what you are saying, without actually saying it, is you wish to be physically active with your partner. Not have sex of course, but do what the Bible calls fornication. Fornication is a sin. And my first girlfriend who was a youth leader literally taught me how to fornicate. See before that, I was fine kissing. I was like...if that is all there is, I am good. But the problem is we are easily corrupted by others. I should have just said, I didn't feel comfortable doing more than kissing, and that would have been fine. But being a boy with teenage hormones, I didn't. Anyway, I hope this helps you. I know it is probably not what you want to hear. But take this from someone who has ruined three engagements. it's not worth it. the heart ache, etc. See if this girl is not the one for you, you have united with her physically and it's all the more painful when it doesn't work out. Best just to be friends. Hang out, don't even hug. Just be there. Talk. find recreations together. If you can't be friends, then you can't really be married. Because marriage is not really about the sex but about the companionship. But the sex is awesome, within the confines of what God created it to be. But don't look at marriage as just a way to have sex. One must address that sex addiction way before marriage, and before adulthood. And that only happens through good mentoring and good youth groups and mature men in the faith teaching the youth how to gain victory in this area.

(sorry I didn't notice this was in the singles section, Oh well I will leave it here, and unsubscribe, if you have any questions message me)

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

paragraphs, sir. use them. kthnx

 

[createdtoworship]

paragraphs, sir. use them. kthnx

optimistic sir. I failed english 101, on purpose. You can't make me read novels about romance and write report on it. Maybe a book about the navy seals? Then I would have done great in that class. And maybe learned how to use paragraphs. Again optimistic.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

optimistic sir. I failed english 101, on purpose. You can't make me read novels about romance and write report on it. Maybe a book about the navy seals? Then I would have done great in that class. And maybe learned how to use paragraphs. Again optimistic.

no problem. i have no education. what i've learned is for the sake of others though.

 

[KarlKarlingIII]

In all my life, I have never met a Christian like this one. We went out one time, spent the day together, had a nice time. We had met at a Church singles group (this was a good while ago, just pontificated this).

I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm begrudging her for believing this. But I was like "Really?!"

She reveals to me that she never plans on kissing anyone until her wedding day. I looked at her like she had 2-heads and asked her why, since it's not a sin.

And she said something about wanting to keep that day special.

Anyways, it didn't work out, for obvious reasons, as we did not align in our beliefs in that area. Just like I don't align with Christians that won't date a person that likes to have a beer on occasion, but the no kissing before marriage was a new one.

I shared this with my Christian friends, and they too, were shocked at this. We theorized it was just that she feared intimacy and was using her religion as an excuse to not get physical. Basically, she was just shy and it had nothing to do with God. That something may be a little off about that person if they sincerely believe this.

I mean, I want to meet a Christian woman, but with that, I tend to encounter these kinds of experiences. It's like they want to live a Amish lifestyle or something?

If that is what she actually believes she sounds like a charming soul. If only I encountered more meek souls like that.

She doesn’t sound too Amish to me. Does one kiss one’s sister on the mouth? Obviously no. We are supposed to see our fellow Christians as brothers and sisters. Romantic intimacy before holy matrimony is a source of temptation.

 

[blackribbon]

no problem. i have no education. what i've learned is for the sake of others though.

Paragraphs help...but I had no problem reading this gentleman's post and appreciate him for posting it.

I am a student of observation. As a girl, I quickly learned that if a man is attracted to a woman and interested in her, it is easy enough to create sexual thoughts without even so much as a kiss or a touch in the normally assumed sexual areas. A whisper in the ear with a bit breathiness or a head massage while touching certain areas of the scalp and face can be all that it takes. Now whispering or giving a massage are not sinful in principle but when they are sexual between two people who are not bound by marriage and permission to enter into a sexual relationship, I suggest that the innocent can become sinful when used in the wrong situations. Kissing is another form of such touch. And just because it isn't forbidden specifically in the Bible, does not mean it can't cross into sinful behavior. The woman wasn't a freak or wrong. In fact, I believe she showed good judgement and restraint and is likely to make someone an affair-free wife someday...unless someone convinces her that compromise of beliefs is an acceptable behavior.