A new life!

[SnappleX]

Hello fellas!
I am 25 years old and a recovering drug addict of 13 years or so? *I know, it's horrible*!!

Anyways, first of all I would like to say that this is a great forum and God bless everybody here!!

Anyways, I guess I am struggling with a few things, I am 18.5 months clean and sober, off the Heroin and Alcohol! *100% clean except the coffee in the morning and the sugar* !!!! Life is great, and the LORD is holding my hand through this LONG journey.... I am blessed to be a free man, clean and have a life ahead of me! I look forward to see what path the LORD has chosen for me in the future! Here are my main concerns... 1) I need to learn to SLOW DOWN! I have so many plans, overwhelm myself with so much to do with not enough time!! - Even though it is not THAT much stuff, I am having a hard time coping with it because of the fact that before I had little to no responsilbilities / activities now I am zonked.

2) Fear of the unknown- I do not KNOW how my recovery is going to go, I have never been successful at it in the past, so often times I feel like it is not going to work out this time, but I keep pressing on, day after day, one day at time and have faith...

3) Number three is a biggie, I am very distrought about all the lost time due to my drug use.. Where I could/should be in life if I were to never do the drugs, the places I could travel if I was able to leave the states, the house + wife I could have, etc. etc. etc.

4) Cravings, well. Cravings are not ANYTHING compared to what they used to be, but often times I find myself subconsciously planning a relapse. I never act upon it, but I say "someday I will be able to have a drink, someday I will be able to relax and smoke a joint after work, SOMEDAY....." Heres the thing, I am interested in CHANGING - NO DRUGS / ALCOHOL! No somedays!! Even though i void those plans, they still arise occasionally...

5) Afraid of people / Angry at people. I often times find that it is more relaxing to be a recluse. I am not in any way a hermit, but I do have problems socializing with NORMIES! Or just some people in general, regardless of their past drug use. Or I find myself ANGRY / Resentful towards my old freinds and people in general..

Praise the LORD that by his grace I am clean today and living a somewhat NORMAL life... I am glad he has gave a new and profound appreciation for life! Provided healthy hobbies and activities I can replace my old criminal lifestyle with! And thanks for the input guys!
-- God bless
-- SnappleX

 

[dark.lightning]

Congratulations on being clean. I know how hard it must be to refrain from using drugs. My cousin isn't even 16 yet and he's gotten addicted. It makes me sad, because he's in a really bad situation.
Don't be worried about the future too much. God will be able to help you through it, just stay faithful to God and continue to pray. Remember, He is always with you, no matter what your condition is. His unconditional love never fails.
The best way for me not to get angry with people is to remember when Jesus was at the cross. He never once showed that He was angry at any human being. Jesus was constantly with prostitutes and tax collectors, and He loved them. He may have despised their actions, but He always loved them. All people are children of God, as He is the author of life. I hope that I have been able to help you, and I'll always be here to respond if you want to talk.
Dark Lightning

 

[SnappleX]

Thank you all much dark lightning! Your input means an aweful lot to me! And I'll say a prayer for your cousin! Since I always pray for anyone who is currently struggling with addiction! As for the unconditional love piece you wrote, all I can say is ... Amen! Gods love endures forever and that is really the only thing that helps me conquer my resentments and fears! "Forgive, as I have forgiven unto you!"

Anyways thanx for the offer man and if I ever need someone badly I surely will contact you!
God Bless and have a nice weekend!

 

[madison1101]

Do you have a sponsor who is guiding you through the 12 Steps of the NA or AA program? If not, get one and get to work on the steps. Peace of mind comes when you complete all 12 steps.

You are young, and have plenty of life ahead of you to live a fulfilling life clean and sober. I wasted most of my adult life acting like a maniac, even when I was not drinking. I have a lot of regrets bout the past. But, I can't do anything about it now. I just have to move forward and live my life to the best of my abilities.