Which is why I'm leaving staff and putting it here, in public, for all to see so if anyone cares they don't have to go off speculating.
I don't do popularity contests of any sort. I just don't. I don't know if I'm "liked" enough to be kept around or hated enough to get the boot. That isn't the point.
I don't even like the mod of the month thing and gringe when my name goes up! Why? Because in school I was the one whose name never had a checkmark or vote beside it. Never picked for the kickball team even though I was good. I was the quiet nerd in the corner everybody loathed.
Now, why is this something I just can't handle? Because eventually there will be a vote for mods and someone who is really lovely, who does a lot behind the scenes for people, who is smart and funny and compassionate and would be a great mod won't have a checkmark next to their name or get a vote because they are quiet, or because they aren't in the right clique or something. And it will hurt.
Sorry. I just can't do it.
I'll still be around playing my little verse games and stuff and of course keeping my dollie well dressed, but that is why I'll be leaving staff. And thinking about the person on the ballot who might get hurt, I'm equally reminded it's high time to apologize to any member or fellow staff whom I have hurt with deeds or words. I apologize.
I wish CF the best and hope it goes great.