A Mennonite Lie

[MrJim]

Story is told about Menno Simons. During the time of persecution in the 16th century Menno Simons was a hunted man. Though not the one to start the movement he was the most famous teacher and "hedge preacher".

He was riding on a stagecoach next to the driver when the coach was halted by soldiers hunting Simons. Simons jumped down from the coach.

"How can we help you gentlemen?" said Simons.

"We are hunting the heretic Menno Simons. Is Menno Simons in that coach?"
asked the soldiers.

Simons went to the coach, climbed up and said "Is Menno Simons in this coach?"

When no one answered Simons got down, went up to the soldiers and said, "Gentlemen, I can assure you that Menno Simons is not inside that coach."

The soldiers went on their way.


*I cannot remember where I heard this story but I believe it was from the Mennonite historian Peter Dyck. He said "May this be the only kind of lie you ever say."

 

[ZiSunka]

Menno wasn't lying. They asked him if Menno was in the coach and he wasn't. That is not a lie. There is nothing in the Bible that says a person has to allow themselves to be caught by persons wishing to persecute or kill them. Jesus himself escaped a murderous crowd more than once.

 

[MrJim]

...and that's why they call it a "Mennonite Lie"-the only kind allowed to tell.

Probably the only anabaptist humor I know...

No, there is the Mennonite Mafia....

If you cross them the wrong way they will come over and plow your lawn.

 

[ZiSunka]

Gosh, there must be a hundred mennonite jokes!

 

[ZiSunka]

Oh and I heard the mennonite mafia one this way: if you cross them, they'll come over and trim your hedges and paint your house!

 

[MrJim]

Gosh, there must be a hundred mennonite jokes!

They don't let me out much these days

 

[Flynmonkie]

Actually, I had one Amish fellow tell me a joke that I would not post in a Christian forum. It was clean - but room for misunderstanding! He tells alot of them!....I will have to look around to see if I can find one...

A new preacher was visiting the homes of members at his new church. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."

Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."


Mildred was the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's
morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George and several others that everyone who saw it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and
walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house....

and left it there all night.

Hope I didn't derail the thread - Had to throw these two cuz you don't get out much!

 

[Canadian75]

Actually, I had one Amish fellow tell me a joke that I would not post in a Christian forum. It was clean - but room for misunderstanding! He tells alot of them!....I will have to look around to see if I can find one...

A new preacher was visiting the homes of members at his new church. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."

Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."


Mildred was the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's
morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George and several others that everyone who saw it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and
walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house....

and left it there all night.

Hope I didn't derail the thread - Had to throw these two cuz you don't get out much!

LOL!

Peace.

 

[McDLT]

Enjoyed - thanks

 

[MrJim]

Hope I didn't derail the thread - Had to throw these two cuz you don't get out much!

No derailing here-it's the Mennonite Humor Hour...