a lostsoul's struggles

[lostsoul60]

Hello there,
My father is a christian, he believe deeply in the bible, my mother also consider herself a christian but she's not as much as my father ''into it'' She doesnt believe in the church(that's what she said, not sure what exactly that implicate) and I'm pretty sure she doesnt agree with everything the bible say(Other than church's stuff). She believe in Jesus, god and some of the bible's teaching.

On the other hand, I am not quite sure there is a god, how could I be? I was just put there on the earth with no knowledge at all. They told me there was a god, but they also told be there was a santa clause.
What I mean is that... I cant be sure. Santa is bad example but I heard differents point of views, different beliefs. I cannot know what is true and what is not, but I am not closed to anything. Chosing a faith, to me, seem
like closing my mind on new idears, others possibility.

But I do believe in love and respect. My father always told me that if I believe in good, I partially believe in god, because that's what he is... partially, at least.
But he still claim that I am a lost soul, that's how he call it and it frustate me a little. The way he speak, is as if he know, but how could he? He's no different than me. I know he's older and more experienced with life
but still... Older people have a lot to teach us but they also can learn from us. He doesnt need to agree with my beliefs, but he could at least respect it as I respect his.

For a while, that's how I've seen christian people. Closed on other's idears and so sure about theirs. Now I realised that this isnt always the case. But I also realised that I truly am a lost soul. As I adopted all theses idears, I lost track of myself, of who I trully am. Am I good or evil? If christianity is the answer, the only truth or at least, in the majority of it's content, I am trully an impure, evil person.
But... I can't help it. It's who I am. If I chose not to be, simply because I don't want to go to hell, isn't just as much hypocrite? Or can I really change who I am because of my love for someone? In this case, god. Because at the end... I will still be the same person, I will just be hiding behind something, lying to god by hiding my true face.

On the other hand, I feel very impure, troubled by one of my ''problem''. I dont know if it's because I was raised as a christian (even if I chose not to be there's a part of me, as small as it may be, that still is partially.) or if it's like a war inside of me, the good trying to fight my own evilness away... or maybe something else. I don't know anymore if I should try to fight or accept it. I don't even know if I can become something else and not just be hiding behind a wall, cuz that's not what I want. I don't know if I should talk about my problem here, a part of me want to talk about it, but another is really ashamed. There is some moment where I feel proud of it, or maybe I just think so, because I still cant talk about it, I kept it a secret from everyone, no matter how I felt about it. I am stuck between two extremity: pride or shame, acceptance or rejection? I dont know wich one to chose. I am confused.
　


Have a nice day.

 

[drich0150]

I am confused as well. I guess the best thing to do is to pick a direction. Do you want to know God? Do you want proof? Will you be willing to change if confronted by God's truth? Or are you looking for justification for your life and the lives of your loved ones? I think first you need to definitively decide what it is you want for yourself, and maybe one of us might be able to point you in the right direction.

 

[lostsoul60]

I supose my post itself sound a little confusing. Sorry about that, I'm always having an hard time trying to explain my toughts or feelings. There's just sooo many things all mixed up together in my mind.
　

I am in questionement. I think there is a god, I am not 100% sure because I think we can never be but I do not seek evidence of his existance, I think I've had signs -if I can call it like that-, wich to me, is enought.
What I seek, I think is an understanding of good and evil. I was never the most loyal person on earth toward god and commandements but I used to have faith.
　

Right now I am a big sinner. I am not hurting anyone and it is really something I have no control on, so how could it be wrong? why is it?
There is some murderers out there, wich is obviously a big crime, but I think that if I had the life they had, maybe I would also be a murderer.
I believe it is fearly easy to take a child and brainwash him so he will become a murderer.
Why is it fair to condamn him and not the loyal believer who would have been the same person if he had his life?
　

I took an extrem case, but if someone doesnt get the right education about god and all that, how could he be to blame? Or is he?
I'm pretty sure anyone who wasnt educated about faith, just like animals would follow their instinct, they would follow their feelings. One of these strong feeling is lust, desire, present in everyone either we want it or not, I dont think it can be destroyed. Why is this so bad as long as we stay respectull? We don't choose our feelings afterall.
Theses situations aren't exactly what I am confronted to, but it is some questions I am often asking myself and I cant seem to find a satisfying answer.
　

I try to understand, if to god's eyes I am a bad person... If I am truly on the wrong path and how can I change that if I can, cuz as I said, I dont want to just put a mask on and do as if it's gone but what if I really cant change it? I want to give god the respect he deserve but to my eyes, there seem to be some unfairness in the commandements itself.
　
　
　

Thank you for taking the time to reply my previous post
I know this might sound like crazy stuff all mixed up together.
have a nice day.

 

[drich0150]

I am in questionement. I think there is a god, I am not 100% sure because I think we can never be but I do not seek evidence of his existence, I think I've had signs -if I can call it like that-, which to me, is enought.

We can know for certain, God will give us the proof we seek. Although i have found that the proof available to us will mean everything to us personally, but nothing to anyone else.

All we have to do is Ask, Seek, and Knock We ask, through Prayer. We Seek in the bible, in Church and in places like this, and we knock by repeating this process till we get what our hearts want.

May i suggest, do not ask for a "miracle" the magic of the experience will wear off eventually, and you will need to see more and more to keep or grow your faith. Ask that God simply open your eyes so you can see Him already in your life and open your Ears so that you may be able to Hear what He has to say and help soften your heart so that when you need to change you can.

What I seek, I think is an understanding of good and evil.

Scripture is the definitive source for our understanding of Good and evil. However I have put together a very simply set of definitions to help people understand these over used terms.

Sin: is anything not in the Expressed will of God. (This means not in God's Law.)

Evil: is a malicious intent to commit sin. (A strong or heart felt desire to be outside of God's expressed will)

Remember the separate natures of sin and Evil. Not all Sin is Evil, but all Evil is indeed sin. for example telling a loved one while they are dying that they will be OK, is an example of lying. lying is a sin. But because of the intent of that person's heart that "sin" is not considered evil.

I was never the most loyal person on earth toward god and commandments but I used to have faith.

what does faith mean to you?　

Right now I am a big sinner.

Right now all of us are big sinners. No exceptions

I am not hurting anyone and it is really something I have no control on, so how could it be wrong?

Do not fool your self, popularity of sin does not make it righteous. For example it was popular to force Jews into slave labor camps in the Hitler's Germany, and later it was the popular thing to exterminate those Jews. Similar things happened in the occupied lands of Japan.. Again just because many people are doing it doesn't make the action not a sin.

why is it?

again, it is outside the expressed will of God.

There is some murderers out there, which is obviously a big crime, but I think that if I had the life they had, maybe I would also be a murderer.
I believe it is fairly easy to take a child and brainwash him so he will become a murderer.

I agree, Hitler proved that point.

Why is it fair to condamn him and not the loyal believer who would have been the same person if he had his life?

Because unlike us. God speaks and deals with absolutes. Just because an entire nation of people wishes to slaughter a smaller nation of people does not make it OK. Just like if one person wants to "sin" just because their peers think it is OK does not make it OK.

God set a standard. This standard is known as Righteousness. He knew that none of us would be able to meet this standard of righteousness. So for those of us who want to be with God, He had to atone or provide a sacrifice for the sins of those who wanted to be with Him. Why? because every sin no matter how big or small comes with the same price. That price is death. So no matter if your sin of choice is Gossip or if you sin of Choice is murder, the consequence is the same in God's economy.

It is only man and his self righteousness (What we believe to be right and wrong) had put sin on a graded scale. The sins we all like and enjoy are at the bottom of that scale, the sins that have one hurting another, is at the top of our sin scale. and evidently now as you are saying even a thing like murder is OK if the person was trained or beaten as a child... Know, the sin status of a action does not depend on our/your personal approval. God's expressed will is the measure that determines whether or not something is a sin.　

I took an extrem case, but if someone doesnt get the right education about god and all that, how could he be to blame? Or is he?

We are told in Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

This means Blame will be assessed on the complete knowledge and intention of individual's heart, knowledge and actions. There will be absolutely no excuses or false judgments. All will be open and laid bare and judge accordingly. No one can say i didn't know or I was never told. What the person does know and was told will be used in that persons final judgment.

I'm pretty sure anyone who wasnt educated about faith, just like animals would follow their instinct, they would follow their feelings. One of these strong feeling is lust, desire, present in everyone either we want it or not, I dont think it can be destroyed.

But the thing is who are we to know who is truly ignorant of God? and who just wants to ignore God, so they can claim ignorance on their judgment day..

Why is this so bad as long as we stay respectfully?

Again as Hitler has demonstrated, that "respect" is on a down ward sliding scale. What is respectful today may seem like over kill in 20 years. "respect" is not an absolute standard.

We don't choose our feelings afterall.

But we do indeed choose to indulge them. Having "feelings" is not a sin. acting on them when outside the expressed will of God is.

Theses situations aren't exactly what I am confronted to, but it is some questions I am often asking myself and I cant seem to find a satisfying answer.

What does a satisfying answer look like to you? Is it something that let's one do as he or she pleases?

I try to understand, if to god's eyes I am a bad person...

If you do not know Jesus Christ that makes you a sinful person, but remember not all sin is evil. Sin is forgivable, if you repent of it, and accept Christ as your savior.

If I am truly on the wrong path and how can I change that if I can, cuz as I said, I dont want to just put a mask on and do as if it's gone but what if I really cant change it?

I don't know if you have ever been or known anyone who has ever been a drunk or on drugs for a long time. If you can ever get them to admit the problem the first thing they will say that it is hopeless for them to ever quit. Because they have lived so long with their drug of choice, and have forgotten how to live any other way.

Before you start on the "right path" know that you will never ever be sin free.. Just like if you were an addict they tell you, you never stop being an addict. Right now your just sober.. Just like if you wanted to get your life right with Christ, you will never stop being a sinner, your just forgiven.

This doesn't mean you can sin or do what ever you want, just like if your an addict you can not do your drug of choice and be sober. If you want to know how to be forgiven, then ask. but know this is a life changing thing. Like with drugs you will have to change your life if you want to stay "sober" otherwise I would say right now you would just be going through the motions of salvation, but never really getting to know Jesus.

I want to give god the respect he deserve but to my eyes, there seem to be some unfairness in the commandments itself.

More than likely that is because you have decided to take on God's role as Master and commander of the universe and judge (by your own standard) the righteousness God.

Basically what I am saying is that the reason it doesn't seem right in your eyes is because, you have judged God and the standard He uses to judge by and have found it wrong, or in error or not compatible with what you think is right.

Something to think about:
If you can make that judgment against God, and have done nothing to deserve the authority.. Then why can't God make and set rules/standards for all of what He has created?　What makes your standard right, and His wrong?
　
　

Thank you for taking the time to reply my previous post
I know this might sound like crazy stuff all mixed up together.
have a nice day.

You would not believe how refreshing it is to speak to someone who seems as if they genuinely want answers to the questions they are asking.

Please do not take offense to anything I have said. Nothing was written in a personal or condemning way.

 

[lostsoul60]

May i suggest, do not ask for a "miracle" the magic of the experience will wear off eventually, and you will need to see more and more to keep or grow your faith.

I am not asking for that

what does faith mean to you?

I see someone who have faith as someone who believe and is in peace with every aspect of the religion... Then again I am not too familiar with the terms.

Right now all of us are big sinners. No exceptions

Yes, I understand that, but I meant like, someone sinning without really stoping on the fact that it's a sin, not trying not to do so.

Do not fool your self, popularity of sin does not make it righteous [...] just because many people are doing it doesn't make the action not a sin.

I couldn't agree more.
But the mind can be very fragile. I understand that it is wrong no matter how popular it is. I just find it unfair to ''condamn'' someone who was broken, while everyone could have been broken in certain circustances.
I supose it is hard to find complete equality, complete fairness even for god since life can be so unfair. Maybe I should accept that it cannot be perfect, or maybe I am just too blind to see the real perfection of it?

Having "feelings" is not a sin. acting on them when outside the expressed will of God is.

I always tought that having certain feelings was a sin, like having desire for someone, or feeling hate. That's what I meant by ''putting a mask on'' like lying by making as if we dont have these feelings because we're always gonna have them. But if I understand correclty, it is not a sin to be angry at someone, as long as you dont mistreat him?

What does a satisfying answer look like to you? Is it something that let's one do as he or she pleases?

I would have answered ''yes'' a few years ago but now I came to realise that it cannot work like that. A satisfying answer is something I can understand. If someone tell me not to do something I would like to be able to understand why I shouldnt do it.

More than likely that is because you have decided to take on God's role as Master and commander of the universe and judge (by your own standard) the righteousness God [...] you have judged God and the standard He uses to judge by and have found it wrong, or in error or not compatible with what you think is right.

This is very revelant to me, I never realised it but it's the truth. I was not understanding some things, so I decided it was wrong instead of studying it. But at the end I decided to find a better understanding, wich is why I am here.

Please do not take offense to anything I have said. Nothing was written in a personal or condemning way.

I am not offended at all , I am very gratefull that you took the time to answers my questions. It was very helpfull, thank a lot. I still have a lot to think about, but I feel less confused about it now

 

[drich0150]

I am not asking for that

Are you "asking" for your eyes and ears to be opened your heart to be changed? Because I have found no matter what we ask for if it is not what the bible tells us we should ask for then our asking is all in vain.

I see someone who have faith as someone who believe and is in peace with every aspect of the religion... Then again I am not too familiar with the terms.

You seek the reassurance of the Holy Spirit. Only having the Holy Spirit dwell with in you can you find this level of peace and contentment.

I couldn't agree more.
But the mind can be very fragile. I understand that it is wrong no matter how popular it is. I just find it unfair to ''condemn'' someone who was broken, while everyone could have been broken in certain circumstances.

Being "broken" is the ideal position one needs to be in to approach God. Because we realize it is in our brokenness that we can find the truth of Jesus's gift. in that God did not send His son to die for us just to give us another impossible set of commands to follow.
There is freedom in Christ, not legalism.

I suppose it is hard to find complete equality, complete fairness even for god since life can be so unfair. Maybe I should accept that it cannot be perfect, or maybe I am just too blind to see the real perfection of it?

Ask God to open your ears and Eyes and you be the judge of what you can and can not see.

I always tought that having certain feelings was a sin, like having desire for someone, or feeling hate.

We have a different understanding of "feeling" You are describing Lust or Hatred. Both of which are indeed feelings, but what you've done is taken a primal reaction and added follow through. It is ok to find someone attractive, but when to take a primal attraction and add lust or desire to your gut reaction it becomes a sin. Likewise if it is ok to feel that you do not like a certain person or personality type, but when you dwell on this person and add Anger or hate, again it becomes a sin. Just like if you murdered Him.

When I say feelings I mean the unprocessed raw emotion we can not help but feel. It is not the processed well thought out want or hate in which you speak.

That's what I meant by ''putting a mask on'' like lying by making as if we dont have these feelings because we're always gonna have them. But if I understand correclty, it is not a sin to be angry at someone, as long as you dont mistreat him?

It is not wrong to be angry at someone because the sinned against you, if you forgive that sin. you can, not like what they have done, but you can not harbor anger or hate toward them for it.

I would have answered ''yes'' a few years ago but now I came to realize that it cannot work like that. A satisfying answer is something I can understand. If someone tell me not to do something I would like to be able to understand why I shouldn't do it.

Then ask.

This is very revelant to me, I never realised it but it's the truth. I was not understanding some things, so I decided it was wrong instead of studying it. But at the end I decided to find a better understanding, wich is why I am here.

Hopefully you continue on.

I am not offended at all , I am very gratefull that you took the time to answers my questions. It was very helpfull, thank a lot. I still have a lot to think about, but I feel less confused about it now

good luck

 

[bling]

So many times in this section of the board we get drive by post (one question and never return).

Your responses are very refreshing and show sincerity.

The way you are feeling and the questions you are asking are exactly the way you should be feeling and you are asking the right questions.

It would be wonderful if you could meet Christ face to face, let Him spend time with you, have Him answer you/ hug you/ listen to you/ be with you through your trials. That is the way you are to know God/Christ, by having Christ come to you in a true mature spirit filled Christian allowing Christ to live through them. Your parents and you are both trying, but they may need Christ at their side as much as you do. You can become a real witness/help to them.

You are well on your way!

The first thing you already realize is: “you are a sinner”. Lots of people avoid accepting their state and try to justify all they do (blame satan, blame Adam and Eve, blame their circumstances and even blame God.) God has helped all mature adult humans with a conscience that tells them, what they have done in the past has hurt others (sin). These past transgressions become a burden to every mature adult human and so everyone seeks some relieve from that burden (alcohol, drugs, sex, meditation, religion, activities, etc). Sin is not the problem and actually has a purpose for the nonbeliever.

The problem is with accepting God’s free undeserving and unconditional gift that relieves the burden and sets you free. Unfortunately we do not like to correctly accept Charity from a Giver that sacrificed to give the gift. We try to be deserving of the gift, try to pay the gift back (see it as a loan), try to earn the gift, or say we have the gift without ever having to accept the gift as charity.

God again has made it as easy as possible for us to accept His gift.

The desire to relieve our burden will cause us to seek out a benevolent Creator that would forgive us, the trusting (faith) in such a creator is a humbling act (contrasted with trust self) that humility is enough to allow us to accept Charity in the form of accepting His forgiveness (Godly forgiveness = Love/grace/mercy/charity). Knowing we are forgiven of a huge debt created by sin (requiring Jesus to go to the cross) will cause us to “Love” much (As Jesus has taught us “…he that is forgiven much will Love much…”).

Love is what we are after and this Godly type Love is defined by everything Christ did and said (you might also look at 1 Cor 13 and 1 John 4). Godly type Love compelled Jesus to do all He did and also compels God to do all He does. So God is trying to give you the most power force in all universes (compelling even God), but God is not going to force you to take it (that would not be loving on His part) and God is doing all He can to help you accept His gift.


To really get the full feeling of what God has done, God has provided baptism (immersion) to allow you to physically feel the burying of your old life, the washing away of your sins, the placing of your life in the hands of another, the rising out of the water to a new life, the new family of Christians that now surround you, a physical reminder of Christ’s death and burial, and like Christ (after his baptism) starting your walk in a new ministry. “Baptism” is not “required” for salvation, but it is there to help you and your walk.

Also understand you will have new power to really do what you want, but what will you want? The Holy Spirit cannot be involved in sin, but will work with you and through you to do great works, but that is up to you (you still have free will) try not to quench Him.

 

[razeontherock]

On the other hand, I am not quite sure there is a god, how could I be?

The way he [my Father] speak, is as if he know, but how could he?

Welcome to CF!

Yes, we can KNOW there is a G-d. We can KNOW Him personally, but only as much as He chooses to show us. We can also share perspectives with other children of His, and gain a somewhat more complete picture, but there is the risk of being guilty of "closure;" i.e.,, just making up what we don't know, merely because we don't like not knowing. (This would be something to avoid, btw)

For a while, that's how I've seen christian people. Closed on other's idears and so sure about theirs.

This is not the fruit Christianity is to produce! Still, one poster has, by her avatar, "don't be so open-minded your brain falls out." We are to hold fast to that which is good, and reject evil.

Am I good or evil? If christianity is the answer, the only truth or at least, in the majority of it's content, I am trully an impure, evil person.
But... I can't help it. It's who I am. If I chose not to be, simply because I don't want to go to hell, isn't just as much hypocrite? Or can I really change who I am because of my love for someone? In this case, god. Because at the end... I will still be the same person, I will just be hiding behind something, lying to god by hiding my true face.

On the other hand, I feel very impure, troubled by one of my ''problem''.

it's like a war inside of me, the good trying to fight my own evilness away...

You're in good company! The Apostle Paul wrote about this, in Romans. Many many times G-d has had me read chapters 5 - 8 in one sitting, as if it is all one (very big) thought. Doing that will give you some good insight here!

Also, we are told to "put on Christ," which directly applies to your question here. Then, we have the Blessed Hope of being changed in the twinkling of an eye, when we see Him as He is. Then we shall be like Him

We are "subjected to" this Hope, which intentionally leaves us in an awkward position. Maybe that's why we're told to comfort one another with these words?

Choose Life!

 

[lostsoul60]

Hello, there, thank you again for your answers and the two other people too


Sorry I took a while to answer back I was a little busy with something else but I also had some time to think about all this.

I see now more clearly on it, at least I feel like I do. There is still questions crossing my minds but I supose there will always be. We can only do our best and I supose that at the end, it is what god want from us, to be really, honestly trying.


I have asked god to help me understand, for a big part of my life, but I never felt like I had any signs. I believe I had signs of his existence when I was in doubt but nothing else. I wasnt expecting a big apparition or anything like that but, maybe I was expecting too much, I dont know. Either way, right now, all I can base my religious view is based on others people's beliefs (that include the bible because it was written by men afterall) mixed with a little bit of personal judgement, I supose. I dont want to take the place of the judge like drich0150 mentioned, but since he either refused to show me or that I failed to see it, I really have nothing else but I feel like I can't really follow these people that easily, just like that, because they told me that it was god's will. I will follow what I feel is right (that mean I understand it), what I feel uncertain about, I will try to find better understanding. I'll never be sure without god's help and I hope that he will help me but since I'll never be perfect, I just have to tell myself that by trying I'll be a good person, not pure, not perfect, just good

''don't be so open-minded your bain falls out.

I think mine started to fall out, gotta try to clean that mess now, lol.


I have another question... that is maybe a little more personal. Just wondering what your opinion is. I didnt wanted to talk about it at first but I am really curious about it.
I really like playing video games, I feel like... the most violent the better. Well, not exactly but... I don't really enjoy feeding pets or building houses, you see... I don't personally feel bad about it, because it's just a game. I also like sorta darker music like black or death metal... I am picky doh, if I dont like the lyrics I won't like the song, so I dont like if they say bad stuff like most of them do (Overly cursing, insulting god or religion, talking like if being violent is good) . But, for example, my favorite song is a song where he talk about how evil he is and I love this song. To me it is beautifull because he realise that he is evil and I feel like he is fighting it, a little like me I supose... like a lot of people, because in the way he sing, I dont feel like he feel good about it.

I tend to see beauty where there truly isnt. Show me a picture of someone crying, I'll tell you that he's alive, one of a guy confronting death, I'll tell you that he's getting stronger, realising how much he care about his familly.
Love to me, is not living happily together but beign there with the person you love in the most difficult moment, love is true when it resist pain and misery so when I see that... To me there is nothing more beautifull. So true beauty, to me, is often hiding right behind horror.

In the end, that make of me someone playing violent games, watching violent movies... Is this something I shouldn't be doing?
I don't feel like it's something the religion would aprove but when I think about it, it doesnt seem wrong to me. It might be a sign that no matter how horrific the situation is, god is always hiding behind... When I see Satan it is god I look at and to see that he is actually there in the most important moment is really what I feel is most important.

I'm not trying to defend a sin if it trully is a sin. If I do something it's because I either feel like it's not wrong or that I do not understand why it would be wrong. My knowledge on religion is limitated, I just came out of a sort of ''rebellion'' phase, where I tought almost complete freedom was ''the key''. I created my own view on things my own arguments and it is not that easy to break them but then again, just because I created my own ''world'' doesnt mean everything was illutionary.

I was asking god to help me, thinking answers will come in my own mind, now I seek answers, thinking god will help them get to me
　


Also, I don't know how bad my grammar is, I hope it's not too bad? I am not english but I'm trying my best, sorry if it's bad.


Good day to all

 

[Trueblood]

Lost soul you are a vary confusseing person lol. Not to make light of your questions. Everybody asks these question to themselves at one point or another in there lives. First off your not a bad or evil person. Everybody is flaud and nobody can tell you gods will no matter how much they might think they can. The only person that can figure out gods plan for you is you. I'm a Christian not because people tell me to be but because that is how god comes to me. I am deffffently the bible truth not the greatest so called Christian. But I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I'm a good person. Sometimes in my darker times in my life I've done things that I regret but that is life. Regret. and beuty and fear and happyness. I don't consern myself with if I'm getting into heaven. If I can say when I die that I left this world a little better then when I came in it, and I helped as many people as I could, and I did my best to resest temptation as much as a man could. Then I know I've done my job here on this earth and my soul will be at peace. Just word of advise watch out for that finding beauty in horror stuff. You might find beauty in someone and it might blind you to who they really are. You might find yourself in a situation that will be hard to get out of. Finding beauty in a sad pic is fine, that just mean your deep.lol Playing metal and video games is fine too in my opinion. But it doesn't matter what I think. What matter is your personal relationship with god.

 

[lostsoul60]

Lost soul you are a vary confusseing person lol.

I'm aware of that, lol.


I'm asking theses questions not in order to follows every words I read here as if it was gods commandment or something like that. People here are humans, just like me they can be wrong or simply having a different mind. I'm just curious of your opinions because I am not extremly familiar with the religion. I live in a small community where religion here is seen as... something negative. Our church ares dead and if I go out and say ''I'm a christian'' people are most likely going to laught at me.

That I want it or not, theses people influenced me at some point in my life. I also had a very negative judgement over christians but I decided not to be a random followers of my community's standards anymore.

So, to a certain degree, yes, your opinions matters, it help me see that everything I heard agaisnt christians isnt true at all. It can help me reforge my messed up mind and maybe it can also help me understand god a little more.

I don't consern myself with if I'm getting into heaven.

Me neither. I am not seeking a path to heaven here, just an understanding of the religion and the human's mind also fascinate me, I love philosophy, lol. If someone doesnt think like I do, I get really interested in what he have to say and I take no offence as long as he stay respectfull Unlike many people, sadly.

Just word of advise watch out for that finding beauty in horror stuff. You might find beauty in someone and it might blind you to who they really are.

I don't fear that. It's really just in the ''unreal'' world. My favorite movie's character ares always characters I would not like in real life at all.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

In the end, that make of me someone playing violent games, watching violent movies... Is this something I shouldn't be doing?

Gentleness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. When you are saved you will no longer have the nature of violence. It is not a matter of stopping watching things it is a matter of asking Jesus into your heart, asking his Spirit to make you a different person.

Computer games are not wrong in them selves, I have to admit I play computer games occassionally, not much since I have been married however. I even have some that are about war, and they are a bit violent at times. But in my nature I do not enjoy the violent parts, just the story lines and challenge of it all. If it is gory or too violent, I think to my self why did they have to make it like that. But maybe like you it is a weakness. Computer games I mean. But I have played them from since I was a youth, and it is some thing I have enjoyed. Honestly I have not felt God tell me to give it up. Obviously I don't go out and buy anything pornographic, I avoid horror, I think would God approve in each decision.

All I can suggest is to ask the LORD into your life to make you a more gentle person. Don't just say "Well lets give up the movies", say "God make me a different person". You will find you will like different things. It won't change you completely, God does not do that, but you will have different desires. You may then find you will want to give up the movies, and the violent games.

But just remember: The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; - Lam 3:25 The LORD is not interested in destroying your enjoyment, he just wants good for you.

 

[lostsoul60]

Don't just say "Well lets give up the movies", say "God make me a different person". You will find you will like different things.

I might be afraid to do that. I am happy to have a certain ''dark'' side. I would also be happy to let go a certain interest in violent stuff because I think that to the point it is right now, it is more than a simple interest. I know I kinda tryed to make it look like it was less bad than it actually is...

It's not even an interest, it's more like an atraction... just like... pornography can be to some people I guess. I'm wondering if it's not a mental illness. :o That is definitly something I would like to get rid of.

I am trying to avoid it to a certain degree, but really you can find it pretty easily without seeking it. I feel like even if I asked god to make me a better person, this wouldnt change because there is a very big part of me that just dont want to change. How could you want to get rid of something that you really like and that take a big place in your everyday life even if a part of you tell you that it should change?... It's really hard to be motivated and/or willing.
At least that's how I feel about it.

 

[bling]

I might be afraid to do that. I am happy to have a certain ''dark'' side. I would also be happy to let go a certain interest in violent stuff because I think that to the point it is right now, it is more than a simple interest. I know I kinda tryed to make it look like it was less bad than it actually is...

It's not even an interest, it's more like an atraction... just like... pornography can be to some people I guess. I'm wondering if it's not a mental illness. :o That is definitly something I would like to get rid of.

I am trying to avoid it to a certain degree, but really you can find it pretty easily without seeking it. I feel like even if I asked god to make me a better person, this wouldnt change because there is a very big part of me that just dont want to change. How could you want to get rid of something that you really like and that take a big place in your everyday life even if a part of you tell you that it should change?... It's really hard to be motivated and/or willing.
At least that's how I feel about it.

Sin has its pleasure for a season. You may not have the power to and probably do not have the power to give up a particular sin. If you are not living and enjoying your life in the Spirit, how can you give up the pleasures of the sinful life? Do you want to try something better?

It would be great if you had someone you can see everyday living a spirit filled life that you wanted to mimic. You need that one on one experience and not just words.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

How could you want to get rid of something that you really like and that take a big place in your everyday life even if a part of you tell you that it should change?... It's really hard to be motivated and/or willing.

How dark is your Dark side as you call it? I have a friend who is a genuine Christian who still likes horror movies, and stuff that is a little violent. I would never say to him, you are not saved. You can be saved and still watch that stuff, but in nature you would be different to God. As there is no Darkness in Him. Personally I would like to just scold you and tell you you can't have a Dark side, only a loving one. But I don't want to extinguish all hope for you. In my opinion if you are genuine about seeking God you would put off the old way of doing things and put on the new, which is kindness and love. It does not mean you have to become a pansy, but you just can't have a dark side in heaven. Again God is love.

 

[If Not For Grace]

On the other hand, I am not quite sure there is a god, how could I be?

What alternative is there?

There is some power out there greater than me, I know that.
From the microrganisms to the Universes there is Order. I know that.
All this order is inter-related. I know That.
There are what we call "laws" (ie gravity) that apply to all. I know That.

My basic beliefs are bases on a simple princliple of if there is some power,
then what power?

So I became aquainted with several of the worlds popular religions (I was what the
Christians call un-churched in my youth which means I could look at all of em with the same disdain or open mind). There was stuff I did not like in all of em,.

But long story short. Jesus made claims about himself that none of the others did (Mohammad came close). I believe history proves that people like Jesus, Mark Twain, Buddah, Joseph Smith, etc. lived (All before my time).

So I only focused on the resurrection, by study I believe Jesus Lived, died now
Was the tomb empty? I came to the conclusion it was.

Did Jesus rise from the dead? I came to the conclusion He Did, therefore I have to believe He was who He said He was or that He was the greatest fraud there ever was. Try & take the view of a student & study & think? What do you believe.

Again, What is the alternative you offer for existance?

 

[FutureAndAHope]

On the other hand, I am not quite sure there is a god, how could I be?

While we are on this topic. I have included some true stories from my life that show me there is a God - and one who still communicates with us today. The latest ones are towards the end of the list. It is a cronological order of sorts.

One morning I got up and walked into the hall and I heard a voice that I believed was God say "How would you like to be stabbed in the Valley". The Valley was known as the rough end of town, and the voice scared me a little, I wondered if I had done something to offend God. I had planned to go down to the Valley to ask people out to church as was my habit at the time. In the end I went anyway regardless of the fear. I walked up to the first person I met and asked him if he would like to go out to church. He said to me "I am an atheist, I don't believe in God". I just said "fine", but hoped to change his mind. He then proceeded to unbutton his shirt and showed me scar marks up and down his chest and stomach. He said to me, "I was attacked by a knife wielding man in the Valley some time ago and spent months recovering in hospital, How could God allow that to happen to me". Then I knew why God had said in the morning "How would I like to be stabbed?". God understood this man, but had a good plan for him. Some weeks latter this man came out to church and became a Christian.

Some time after the second Gulf War an Australian man Douglas Wood was captured by terrorists in Iraq, who made demands for a ransom or he would be executed. I set about fasting and praying for his release, I said to God "You know where he is....tell me". Three words entered my mind ABC, Bizaar and "A-meal". I thought "I am going crazy what has all that got to do with him. Bizaar I though "this is Bizarre". I thought maybe "A-meal" is a town so I searched a map of Iraq for a town of that name, but found nothing that really matched. Some time latter Douglas Wood was freed by US troops who came across his captors. It was not until latter that I actually discovered what the three words meant. I was on a forum libertyunites.us and came across a post by a user called ABC in the post she appealed to the captors to release Douglas Wood because he had gone to a/or the Bazaar and bought food for homeless people and had provided them with "A-meal". I believe God saw this action too and blessed Douglas Wood with an escape from his captors.

One time I thought about suing some one but felt bad about it because I did not want to give a bad impression about what a Christian is like. So I prayed and asked God to show me clearly what to do. Latter that day I opened my bible at random, selecting a random verse and it opened to 1Co 6:7 "Nay, already it is altogether a defect in you, that ye have lawsuits one with another. Why not rather take wrong? why not rather be defrauded?" So I knew what God was thinking, no lawsuit. From this I do not believe God was saying the legal system is wrong just this particular action.

At one point in my life I was praying for scientific cures for illnesses like cancer. Because I was on a science kick I thought would it not be fun to create a real life dinosaur. I wanted Jesus just for fun to show me how to create a Real Live Dinosaur, he can show us anything you know if he wants, but when I asked him how to start recreating a Dinosaur. Jesus spoke into my head the sentence "bood", a term I had never heard before. I decided to look it up on the Internet and I found out the following: You see, the children of Semai are taught from an early age, the concept of "bood." If a parent asks a child to do something and the child replies " bood," it means in other words, "I don't feel like doing that," and the matter is closed. Bood means gently No.

One day I was witnessing to a Muslim and he asked me why we ate pork. I used the verse out of the bible which says "It is not what enters the mouth that defiles a man but what comes out of the mouth". After some general discussion I finished for the night. I asked God to give me a verse from the bible to encourage me. I opened the bible at random and selected a random verse. It opened to the exact same verse that I had used with the Muslim. The one about food not defiling. So I knew that God was approving of what I had been talking about.

Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun. - Ecc 7:11 I have always considered it wise to seek God for every thing in life. By this I do not mean "God, what should I eat" or "what should I wear". Not small insignificant things but things that matter. God cares about the things that we see as significant, things that are important to us. There was a point in my life where I was single, unmarried and constantly bombarded by the worlds system of doing things, a system to which I was diametrically opposed. I wanted to find a partner, but was not really sure how to go about it. By trade I am a computer programmer so the Internet was very familiar to me. So I tried internet dating. I remember getting to a point of meeting quite a few people but not really fully clicking with any of them. So I prayed and said out of all the thousands of people that are online in the world there must be some one who could make a good partner for me. So I deliberately listened for God’s voice, and prayed once. The word “Grace” entered my mind. So I typed “Grace” into the search box (that was used to search for profiles). The first profile to come up was of Ru Chen. I had been contacted by Ru Chen once, but we were unable to send messages to one another over the site for some unknown reason. So I tried to contact her again, but again with no success. Some time latter Ru was able to contact me using an email I had sent to her when she had first contacted me, after chatting online for some weeks we decided to meet. We went out together to the movies and just eating out, and seeing each other for some time. Eventually we decided to marry. We went out and bought a ring. Some months latter we got married.

This is a story of God working between me an my wife to get his point accross. One night I was laying on my bed and the verse of scripture came into my mind "With patience possess your souls". Latter that week my wife called me into the bedroom where she was reading the bible not knowing anyting about what I had heard said to me "this is a verse you will like", a thing she never has done before. It was Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.Jas 5:7-8 It was not that I was not being patient, for I was, when talking to my mother about it we both felt it ment, the coming of the LORD is near means his intervention in our lives is near. When we are patient we reap a harvest of his blessing given time. So by faith I believe some time, sooner or latter God will do something if we just wait patiently and obediently for him to act, even if it is his final salvation on his return.

I was praying for all Muslum countries on the 27 of Febuary, and specifically for the president of Iran, which I do whenever I pray for them. That God might bring them to salvation that can only be found in the Love and mercy of Jesus Christ. Like the bible says there is no other name given under heaven or earth by which man can be saved. I went into the kitchen, and asked the LORD for a verse of scripture for him, I opened the bible up to a verse, It was quite condemning, so I said LORD you must be able to have more mercy than that. So I opend up the bible again and it opened to "Seek good, not evil, that you may live. Then the LORD God Almighty will be with you, just as you say he is." - Amo 5:14. I was not sure if either of the verses were for him, so I did not send anything. The next day I was having a break from work and thought of him again. So I prayed LORD do you have anything that I can send to bless him with. This time I was on the computer so I used my electronic bible, a different one to the night before. I randomly selected a verse, not looking at where I was choosing and it rested on the exact same verse I had received the night before. "Seek good, not evil, that you may live. Then the LORD God Almighty will be with you, just as you say he is." - Amo 5:14 So I knew God had chosen that verse for him. So I sent him the verse of scripture and an encouragement to seek Jesus. Then on the 6th of March a Sunday I set about praying and fasting, and prayed for the president and all the members of his parliment, again I said LORD give me a verse for them, bless them and bring them to you, don't dispose of them, even if they have resisted you, just bless them with salvation. I opened the bible and again, and my finger rested on "Seek good, not evil, that you may live. Then the LORD God Almighty will be with you, just as you say he is." - Amo 5:14 I have to admit I am not sure what God's plans are for them, but I feel these verses sum up the attitude it is wise to have, "The highway of the upright avoids evil; he who guards his way guards his life. Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud. Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD". Pro 16:17-20.

 

[mandyangel]

prayers and hugs your way love, mandy