A lost friendship...?

[Sonnenuntergang]

I have a Christian friend who I've known for a few years now, and about 2 years ago we started to get fairly close. I started going to Christian union at my old school (this is really what converted me ) and that's where we started to get talking.

Gradually I started to get feelings for her and in the end I got to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore, so I text her and told her how I felt. After panicking, I sent her another text a few hours later asking if we could be still friends and that I wouldn't mention it again. At this point she was abroad and, to my despair, I never got a reply, so to this day I have no idea if she actually got the text or not.

When we came back to school, I found things awkward and we didn't really talk anymore. She didn't question this, which made me think perhaps she did get the text.

I then got talking to this guy, who was very sweet and kept asking me out. At first, I wasn't interested at all, but when I really got to know him, I started liking him and within a few months we were going out and in a happy and loving relationship (and still are). Slowly and gradually, I managed to get over my feelings for her and my bisexuality. I really felt that God brought me and my boyfriend together, as he got me through the confusion of my sexuality and he really helped me in my faith and I think I helped him in his, too. Things with my friend are still seem a bit weird, but I think that's usual after what happened.

Anyway, as time went by me and my friend started talking again and I thought our friendship was pulling itself back together, possibly because my new relationship had reassured her that I had changed. Then, out of the blue, she invited me on a small holiday, during which we both bonded and became good friends and our past seemed to be behind us.

A few months later, we started college and this is where the latest problem has arised. We are in the same friendship group, in the same form, doing the same course and we go to the same church, yet we barely ever talk. All of a sudden things seemed to change in college. We weren't seeing each other at lunchtimes and I text her to meet up, to which she said yes, but later she stood me up. I told her that I missed chatting with her, to which I got no response and I asked her if she wanted to meet up several times and the length of these were very limited and I never got asked back. I told her I needed to talk to her, but she didn't really seem interested and when I got the opportunity, I chickened out. Sometimes we have times when we talk, but sometimes we just don't talk at all and we can't seem to look each other in the eye!!!

I'm just so confused! It's so weird! As far as I'm aware I haven't done anything since we started college and I don't know whats going on. I've started to feel depressed since college and I looked at the sources of depression and one of them was the loss of a close friend. I feel really upset whenever she's around and I want to do something but I don't know what I can do.

A couple of weeks ago, my boyfriend and I were praying together and he said God let him feel her emotions. He said that she felt hurt and abandoned, like she had lost a friend and that she wanted us to start talking again. He said she's finding it hard to forgive me for ignoring her and bascially that when I got serious with my boyfriend I ditched her.

I find all of this very difficult to believe, as I tried really hard to make up with her and I don't see how my boyfriend had anything to do with it, as she started acting funny when we started college, and at this time I was already in a serious relationship with my boyfriend and had been for about 6 months. I do trust that God showed me this in order to help, but I'm not really sure what I should do about it.

I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions what to do? Should I try and talk to her or should I give up on it?

I'm sorry that this is so long winded and I hope it all makes sense.

Thanks. God bless .

 

[the.Sheepdog]

Hello dear, my name is Bill. Im with staff here. First, I would like to welcome you to CF. It is my heartfelt desire that you find all you need and want and more here.

At your age your hormones are flooding into your system preparing you for adulthood. It is a crazy time for both males and females. It is not unusual for young girls to have conflicting feelings about emotional attachments towards other girls. In fact it is the most natural thing when you think about it.

At your age boys are, well, in a world all their own and may not know you are alive mostly. They are flooding with testosterone and endorphins and are frankly near nuts. LOL. And yes I was no exception. I didnt notice girls in any meaningful way at your age but I did notice race cars, motorcycles and any rebel adventure dangerous or not.

So who would a girl reach out to share burgeoning feelings? another sensitive understanding female, or a boy who most of the time is off on some adventure?

Attraction is not a sin. Reaching out is not a sin either. In fact if God created you so wonderfully don't you think He would know how you would react as you grow?

Temptation is not a sin. It's what you do with that temptation that becomes a stumbling block. No sin is more so than any other. They are all equal frankly. What is important here is that you know that you are not alone and not the first or only to have this come up. We all have. You are just more open and honest about it than most.

What you should do about your friend? Pray about it and if God doesnt give you anything different then do as you decide. Just show her you are the same as you have always been, and want to be her friend.

I will be praying for you and am always available, as is all of staff, to talk with you or listen. God Richly Bless you dear one! You are at the right place!