A little help or advice

[hoolibug]

Hello everyone.

I'm a new member here but I'm a long time single mother.

I have been divorced for four months but separated for three years. I've been through various personal crisis including the divorce this past year.
My child is very young (too young to hopefully not remember anything). My ex has had a woman in his life younger than I by four years (I'm 24). They've been together since the day of the separation and it always killed me. Now they are pregnant and engaged to be married next year. I have made peace with it because I know God would want me to for our child.

This hurts me on so many levels. I'm not romantically interested with my ex by any means. However I feel like I've waited so long to move on. My child is a special care child. By that I mean they are almost normal and your typical toddler. However they have a heart condition a chronic heart condition. I'm currently unemployed to take care of my child until they start school full time or a medical miracle happens with them but they always need some sort of care.

If you're reading this and you never married or you've been divorced. Is there any advice you can give to me. I know this may sound horrible but I know that I will never accomplish great things in life. I will never be president or a movie star or do anything to change the world. I've been trying to find my purpose in life. Maybe it's to take care of my child?

Do you think it's possible that after divorce there is life? You can start over again? Or is it wishful thinking that I will find a man that will accept and understand my circumstances, my child, myself?

Does anyone have any advice?

Thank you so much.

Hooli

 

[shaaz_99]

Hi Hoolibug ! xxxxx
I am so sorry for the pain you have had this last while xx Be assured our Father does see and He does know , and He loves you with an everlasting love . I know things are so very difficult right now, and it feels like your life will never ever be the same...there are so many questions ! But i can tell you with absolute certainty that where you are right now you will not always be xxx
Six years ago i was so like you , Hubby left for someone else ....i was left with four beautiful wee people to care for and not one clue what i was doing ... Its been a mad six years but i can tell you that if you trust and rely on God he will never ever let you down and he can do the most amazing things in your life . He has been so good to you giving you this precious wee one, and for now that is your focus...so sow into your baby !!! i promise you all that love you will get back ...
It is possible to meet someone else... i did .....and He continues to be an amazing part of my life .. But you know what ? more than anything i am glad i got the chance to see what God can do when we feel we have no hope....if it wasn't for Jesus i would be completely lost !! in so many ways xxxxx

I really feel for you and i willl pray xxxx if i can do anything or you just want to talk message me xxx and remember your past does not determine your future !, and a life lived for God is the only way we can reach our potential.....anything is possible when we put him first xxxxxxx

Much love xxx
shaaz

 

[SearcherKris]

Your divorce is very new. It is going to take time to heal. Don't base your view of your future on how you feel now.

I am dealing with a very similar situation. I have been divorced for three years. He has a live-in girl friend and a baby with her. They just got engaged and I had to hear all about picking out her ring from my older son.

The pain does get less. The lonliness and self doubt does go away.

You need to involve yourself in something other than caring for your child, even if it is only for a short time each week. Is there anyone who can care for your child while you do this? Do you have a church you belong to? Could you pursue some education while you are waiting for your child to go to school? Can you begin doing that once your child is in school?

Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.