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A Little Bit Of Kent Hovid Creationist Humor

Washington

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That's, "H o v i N d"



CALLER: [...] U238 has a half life of 4.5 billion years and that is what they use to date the Earth with.
HOVIND: I would start off by saying, "Who counted it for that long?"
Truth Radio 19 September 2006 @ 47:00 (Tape 2)


"Why do men have nipples?" [...] Plus, I think if it was not designed this way we would probably have an incredibly higher rate of, you know, child pornography and child abuse and stuff like that.
Truth Radio 20 September 2006 @ 10:55 (Tape 1)


There is [sic] about four or five [feathered dinosaurs] that have been found. They're all fake. They're coming from China. These Chinese guys who make 40 cents a year. [...] They're faking them. They spend years forging these things.
Truth Radio 19 September 2006 @ 15:30 (Tape 1)


They're going to complain [my videos] contain religious materials. Hey, everything in the world is religious, ultimately. Mathematics is a religion.
Truth Radio 7 August 2006 @ 20:10 (Tape 2)


Also, Einstein's formula - E=mc^2 - [...] Einstein was just saying the speed of light squared - 186,000 times 186,000 - that is a huge number. I don't think anybody knows, including Einstein, that that exact number is correct - the energy is equal to the speed of light squared - that is just an illustration to show how much energy can be found in a small amount of mass. I mean, it could have been E=mc cubed or quadrupled, I don't think anybody knows. How would you prove such a thing? How do you know it is not E=mc to the two and a half power, you know, or some kind of law like that? The point is, the speed of light is not a constant according to an awful lot of research in the last 25 years [...] and Einstein's formula is just giving an example of how much energy there is.
Truth Radio 21 July 2006 @ 26:10 (Tape 1)


Everybody is asking how the light got from the stars to here. They're asking the wrong question. The Bible says God made the Earth first and the stars second [6,000 years ago]. Seventeen times in the Bible says He stretched out the heavens. Well, if He stretched out the heavens and He did it from here [on Earth] then they would see the light on the first day and rapidly recede into the distance and they would leave behind a trail of light. So the stars could be receding at 99.9999% the speed of light and they could be billions of light years away.
Truth Radio 19 June 2006 @ 10:45 (Tape 1)


HOVIND: I heard the lady who was painted gold for the movie Gold Finger died because of it

ASSISTANT: She died from lack of oxygen

HOVIND: The skin can't breath with the paint all over. So, amen
Truth Radio 8 June 2006 @ 7:25 (Tape 1)


I think most of the global warming is a hoax designed to advance the Communist Manifesto plank #1, you know, more government regulation of your private property.
Truth Radio 23 May 2006 @ 27:00 (first tape)


[Listener] writes in and says, "Since evolutionists say the early atmosphere contained no oxygen where do they claim the millions of years of rain came from since oxygen is half of the combination of water". Good question. Ask 'em that. Yeah, good question. They had to have oxygen to make this water. Good point. Never thought of that one. Appreciate that.
Truth Radio 24 May 2006 @ 29:15 (Tape 2)


There was one reported incident of a man swallowed by a whale and live two days and survived in 1890. And he travelled around the rest of his life speaking on the topic. Sections of his skin was bleached in some areas from the whale's acid.
Truth Radio 17 April 2006 @ 25:10 (Tape 2)


Obviously, [four corners of the Earth] is an expression people still use today - scattered to the four corners - so it may be a metaphor. That is one option. Option two is there really are four high spots on the Earth. I think they have been discovered there are four high spots that are considerably higher like the Hawaii Islands - water is much higher than it should be. There are four spots on the Earth where there are kinda like big bumps.
Truth Radio 17 April 2006 @ 18:30 (Tape 2)


Cro-Magnon Man (Australopithecus africanus)
Source: Seminar Workbook, 2004 Edition.


THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS NOT A CONSTANT ; THEREFORE, EINSTEIN was/was not WRONG!! (Circle one )
Source: Seminar Workbook, 2004 Edition.


The claim that the entire Universe was in one tiny dot called a singularity is absolutely stupid. [.....] If you can't even compress a bowl of water. Get a cup of water and compress it into some smaller space. It just can't be done, okay.
Source: Truth Radio 13 July 2004 @ 10:00


And most telling:

A testimonial hosted by Kent Hovind:
I personally have met several intellectual types with the same condescending attitude. My question is, if these people are so enlightened and intellectually superior to the rest of us, how come none of them do anything productive that generates revenue, helps grow the economy, makes the world a better place or builds something that will last for the next hundred years? They all seem to teach as some high school or university, sucking at the national nipple when they could be out amassing huge fortunes, couldn't they?
http://www.drdino.com/readTestimony.php?id=10
source
 
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sbvera13

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I think most of the global warming is a hoax designed to advance the Communist Manifesto plank #1, you know, more government regulation of your private property.
...
They all seem to teach as some high school or university, sucking at the national nipple when they could be out amassing huge fortunes, couldn't they?
...
http://www.kent-hovind.com/quotes/

Knowing about Hovind's financial, erm, habits, these two points are especially noteworthy.
 
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Naraoia

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[Listener]
writes in and says, "Since evolutionists say the early atmosphere contained no oxygen where do they claim the millions of years of rain came from since oxygen is half of the combination of water". Good question. Ask 'em that. Yeah, good question. They had to have oxygen to make this
water. Good point. Never thought of that one. Appreciate that.
Truth Radio 24 May 2006 @ 29:15 (Tape 2)
Ouch.

Cro-Magnon Man (Australopithecus africanus)
*cringe*

The claim that the entire Universe was in one tiny dot called a singularity is absolutely stupid. [.....] If you can't even compress a bowl of water. Get a cup of water and compress it into some smaller space. It just can't be done, okay.
Source: Truth Radio 13 July 2004 @ 10:00
Just like you can't lift a car, right?

A testimonial hosted by Kent Hovind:
I personally have met several intellectual types with the same condescending attitude. My question is, if these people are so enlightened and intellectually superior to the rest of us, how come none of them do anything productive that generates revenue, helps grow the economy, makes the world a better place or builds something that will last for the next hundred years? They all seem to teach as some high school or university, sucking at the national nipple when they could be out amassing huge fortunes, couldn't they?
http://www.drdino.com/readTestimony.php?id=10
source
Insolent... lying... bastard. :mad:

I'm so glad I don't normally read Hovind. I'm so glad. Somehow I don't find any of this funny.
 
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ChordatesLegacy

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I love this one

Hovind Claim: "Fossilized Coconut?"

Reality: Lava bomb. The confirming feature is the gas bubbles seen on the fresh rock especially on the right side. Not a fossil.

cocoanut.jpg


LINK
 
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Cabal

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Here's a little science humor:

  • Thalidomide, the new wonder drug.
  • Vioxx is safe, check with your doctor before taking.
  • NASA to Challenger: You're go for throttle-up.

This stops Hovind from being laughably and demonstrably wrong how exactly?

Anyway:

Might want to change "science" to "management" in your quote there.
 
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agentorange20

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Here's a little science humor

Thalidomide, the new wonder drug.

It's also a wonder why all that prayer for endless millenia never cured anything, what with the Black Plauge and other pathogens ravaging the globe endless times and prayer having no affect at all one would think some would get the hint that it doesn't work. If it did work science drugs and technology wouldn't even be required, we'd just all pray for healing and take it, but that doesn't seem to happen. No, only a moron stays home and uses pray alone when they're deathly ill, they always go to the hospital for treatment as they know its succcess rate tends to be a little better.

Vioxx is safe, check with your doctor before taking.

Prior to putting ingesting anything it's sensible to check if the drug is going to work in the first place or its side effects. You woldn't ingest liquid mecury just b/c it was advised to cure something, would you? It's called doing your own research. duhhhh...

NASA to Challenger: You're go for throttle-up.

You got some balls to A) defend professional liar for Jesus, Kent Hovind, and follow it up with a tragedy and pretend to make it humor. Got conscious?
 
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Morcova

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You got some balls to A) defend professional liar for Jesus, Kent Hovind, and follow it up with a tragedy and pretend to make it humor. Got conscious?

Exploiting the death of men and women is just another debate device for some people.
 
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Cabal

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Exploiting the death of men and women is just another debate device for some people.

The tragic thing is, if this was to score points against scientists, he's overlooking the part about the scientists who worked for the manufacturers of the booster rockets who vehemently opposed launch on a cold day.

I.e, epic fail.
 
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AV1611VET

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I.e, epic fail.
Here's your epic fail ---
Wikipedia --- Space Shuttle Challenger disaster said:
The failure of the O-rings was attributed to a design flaw, as their performance could be too easily compromised by factors including the low temperature on the day of launch.
 
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Cabal

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Here's your epic fail ---

Which scientists attempted to put right in order that noone died, but were overruled by red tape.

Compare this to Kent Hovind, who steadfastly refuses to fix his (rather painfully obvious) mistakes.

Not even close. You know how you don't like people who slam Christianity because they focus on all the "bad points" (Crusades, schisms etc) rather than on all the good stuff it does? You're doing the exact same thing.

Also, didn't you keep making the point about the fall being like a car with instructions, and if you disobey the instructions, then it's your fault? If people listened to the scientists' instructions, there wouldn't have been a Challenger disaster. Same thing.

Still epic fail. Please stop with the double standards.
 
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AV1611VET

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Still epic fail. Please stop with the double standards.
Just FYI, I was agreeing with Morcova --- not disagreeing --- and I won't derail this thread with more misplaced blame on Christians via the Crusades. I pwned that thinking some time ago.
 
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TheBear

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That's, "H o v i N d"



CALLER: [...] U238 has a half life of 4.5 billion years and that is what they use to date the Earth with.
HOVIND: I would start off by saying, "Who counted it for that long?"
Truth Radio 19 September 2006 @ 47:00 (Tape 2)


"Why do men have nipples?" [...] Plus, I think if it was not designed this way we would probably have an incredibly higher rate of, you know, child pornography and child abuse and stuff like that.
Truth Radio 20 September 2006 @ 10:55 (Tape 1)


There is [sic] about four or five [feathered dinosaurs] that have been found. They're all fake. They're coming from China. These Chinese guys who make 40 cents a year. [...] They're faking them. They spend years forging these things.
Truth Radio 19 September 2006 @ 15:30 (Tape 1)


They're going to complain [my videos] contain religious materials. Hey, everything in the world is religious, ultimately. Mathematics is a religion.
Truth Radio 7 August 2006 @ 20:10 (Tape 2)


Also, Einstein's formula - E=mc^2 - [...] Einstein was just saying the speed of light squared - 186,000 times 186,000 - that is a huge number. I don't think anybody knows, including Einstein, that that exact number is correct - the energy is equal to the speed of light squared - that is just an illustration to show how much energy can be found in a small amount of mass. I mean, it could have been E=mc cubed or quadrupled, I don't think anybody knows. How would you prove such a thing? How do you know it is not E=mc to the two and a half power, you know, or some kind of law like that? The point is, the speed of light is not a constant according to an awful lot of research in the last 25 years [...] and Einstein's formula is just giving an example of how much energy there is.
Truth Radio 21 July 2006 @ 26:10 (Tape 1)


Everybody is asking how the light got from the stars to here. They're asking the wrong question. The Bible says God made the Earth first and the stars second [6,000 years ago]. Seventeen times in the Bible says He stretched out the heavens. Well, if He stretched out the heavens and He did it from here [on Earth] then they would see the light on the first day and rapidly recede into the distance and they would leave behind a trail of light. So the stars could be receding at 99.9999% the speed of light and they could be billions of light years away.
Truth Radio 19 June 2006 @ 10:45 (Tape 1)


HOVIND: I heard the lady who was painted gold for the movie Gold Finger died because of it

ASSISTANT: She died from lack of oxygen

HOVIND: The skin can't breath with the paint all over. So, amen
Truth Radio 8 June 2006 @ 7:25 (Tape 1)


I think most of the global warming is a hoax designed to advance the Communist Manifesto plank #1, you know, more government regulation of your private property.
Truth Radio 23 May 2006 @ 27:00 (first tape)


[Listener] writes in and says, "Since evolutionists say the early atmosphere contained no oxygen where do they claim the millions of years of rain came from since oxygen is half of the combination of water". Good question. Ask 'em that. Yeah, good question. They had to have oxygen to make this water. Good point. Never thought of that one. Appreciate that.
Truth Radio 24 May 2006 @ 29:15 (Tape 2)


There was one reported incident of a man swallowed by a whale and live two days and survived in 1890. And he travelled around the rest of his life speaking on the topic. Sections of his skin was bleached in some areas from the whale's acid.
Truth Radio 17 April 2006 @ 25:10 (Tape 2)


Obviously, [four corners of the Earth] is an expression people still use today - scattered to the four corners - so it may be a metaphor. That is one option. Option two is there really are four high spots on the Earth. I think they have been discovered there are four high spots that are considerably higher like the Hawaii Islands - water is much higher than it should be. There are four spots on the Earth where there are kinda like big bumps.
Truth Radio 17 April 2006 @ 18:30 (Tape 2)


Cro-Magnon Man (Australopithecus africanus)
Source: Seminar Workbook, 2004 Edition.


THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS NOT A CONSTANT ; THEREFORE, EINSTEIN was/was not WRONG!! (Circle one )
Source: Seminar Workbook, 2004 Edition.


The claim that the entire Universe was in one tiny dot called a singularity is absolutely stupid. [.....] If you can't even compress a bowl of water. Get a cup of water and compress it into some smaller space. It just can't be done, okay.
Source: Truth Radio 13 July 2004 @ 10:00


And most telling:

A testimonial hosted by Kent Hovind:
I personally have met several intellectual types with the same condescending attitude. My question is, if these people are so enlightened and intellectually superior to the rest of us, how come none of them do anything productive that generates revenue, helps grow the economy, makes the world a better place or builds something that will last for the next hundred years? They all seem to teach as some high school or university, sucking at the national nipple when they could be out amassing huge fortunes, couldn't they?
http://www.drdino.com/readTestimony.php?id=10
source
:D :thumbsup:
 
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Cabal

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Just FYI, I was agreeing with Morcova --- not disagreeing --- and I won't derail this thread with more misplaced blame on Christians via the Crusades. I pwned that thinking some time ago.

I apologise for the misunderstanding re Morcova's post, but I still find your attempts at comparing science "humour" with KH's rubbish to be rather misplaced, especially if it places the blame incorrectly on scientists for people dying. And especially seeing as you've either used the exact same arguments yourself elsewhere and yet make out that if scientists do that it's fallacious; either that or expressed your dislike of a particular argument that you then go and use yourself.
 
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