a joke

[ashout]

Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out." "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.

"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"

"Right."

"An' the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"

"Er--right."

"An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again you're right."

"An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"

"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"

"What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz allthe grown-ups doin?"

 

[Vince53]

It was the new pastor's first Sunday, and he was inspecting the Sunday School classes. He had heard rumors that one of the teachers was incompetent, and he wanted to check.

Entering the classroom, he asked little Tommy, "Who knocked down the walls of Jericho?" "It wasn't me," replied Tommy. "Is this the kind of class you teach?" the pastor asked the teacher. "Look," replied the teacher, "Tommy is a good boy, and if he says he didn't do it, I believe him."

The pastor complained to the board of deacons. After discussing it, they agreed that the church would pay to repair the wall.

 

[WinBySurrender]

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."

"Okay" the man says, "I attended church every Sunday"

"That's good," says St. Peter, "That's worth two points"

"Two points?" he says. "Well, I gave 10% of all my earnings to the church"

"That's worth another 2 points," answers Peter, "Did you do anything else?"

"Two points? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."

"Fantastic, that's certainly worth a point, " Peter says.

"Hmmm...," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."

"That's wonderful!" says St. Peter, "That's worth three points!"

"THREE POINTS!!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!"

Peter beams. "That's it! Come on in!"

 

[ashout]

hilarious jokes guys, thanks!


now how many points is it to tell good clean jokes on a christian forum?

 

[Hammster]

The story is told of a group of theologians who were discussing predestination and free will. Things became so heated that the group broke up into two opposing factions. But one man, not knowing which to join, stood for a moment trying to decide. At last he joined the predestination group. "Who sent you here?" they asked. "No one sent me," he replied. "I considered the facts and decided on my own." "Free Will!" they exclaimed. "You can't join us! You belong with the other group!" So he followed their orders and went to the other clique. There someone asked, "When did you decide to join us?" The young man replied, "Well, I didn't really decide--I was sent here." "Sent here!" they shouted. "You can't join us unless you have decided by your own free will."

 

[ashout]

Lol