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That must be very frustrating. I'd be tempted on Sunday to hang a big sign around my neck that says, "Yes, Really, I Drive. with a big, winking smiley face."That's a fair question. It's a small church, 50 people or less every week, so I would think after five years everybody would know by now.
If it weren't for the other factors I mentioned a few posts back (people in general jumping in to do for me what I can do for myself, and/or assuming I'm going to fail before I've had a chance to succeed) this might not bother me so much. But it's only a part of the whole.
That must be very frustrating. I'd be tempted on Sunday to hang a big sign around my neck that says, "Yes, Really, I Drive. with a big, winking smiley face."
There is your answer right there. People who know that you had complicated reasons for not driving until late in life likely do not know that your life is now simplified where you can drive.Yes, it's true I came into driving later in life, for complicated reasons.
Thank you. This is helpful.There is your answer right there. People who know that you had complicated reasons for not driving until late in life likely do not know that your life is now simplified where you can drive.
We all assume life is on a straight line trajectory, unless we are aware of a change in the situation.
I suppose the puzzling part is, haven't I been going to this rather small church for long enough, that people would know me better than this? (About 11 years, to be specific.) If after all this time I'm still a stranger, and they're this far behind on what's going on, then maybe there is a bigger problem.If people knew you well, they would know you now drive; if they knew you not at all, they would assume that you could drive-because most adults in North America do.
But if they are only casually acquainted, they operate on the basis of what they know, which likely is that there was a time when you were not licensed to drive.
The possibility has been raised that some people automatically assume cane/walker = pain meds, and of course pain meds would stop a person from driving.
Get a big badge saying, "I am a safe driver- are you?" Wear it for church. The sheer fact that the question 'Are you?' might get it noticed and remembered. HeheOh, I don't at all think badly of someone who doesn't drive. A lot of people at our church don't, including some of the same ones who have assumed I don't. That doesn't mean they're less than I am. I just wonder why, after five years, I'm still giving off the "I don't drive" vibe. I don't see them either directly or indirectly asking my husband if he needs assistance. They assume, rightly, that he can take care of himself.
I suppose it would feel the same as if people kept reading things to me because they assumed I couldn't read. Why would they think that?
That helps a lot.
And you know what? I don't even use handicapped parking spaces. My cane is more for balance than for mobility, so slopes and curbs and sudden dips and such don't catch me off guard. I park on the far end of the lot rather than trying for a space as close to the door as I can get. There are advantages. It's easier to get a space that way. It's less stressful than trying to look for a "good" space, and may even safe time. I'm not real good at parking, so if I miss, I have more room to back out and try again. I have less chance of dinging somebody's door, or having them ding mine. And it's good exercise to walk a little. All of this is why I won't get a handicapped permit. As long as I *can* walk across the parking lot, I want to save those spaces for somebody who can't.
Are you laid back and gentle in your approach? Or do you look flusteredContinued from my last post, simulposted with the above.
"I suppose it would feel the same as if people kept reading things to me because they assumed I couldn't read. Why would they think that?"
PS: Which reminds me. Once I was flipping through the hymnal, looking for the song everybody was singing from the wall projector. The wall showed the lyrics but not the melody. I didn't know the melody, so I wanted to follow along in the hymnal because I can read music.
Someone near me saw me flipping through the pages, took the hymnal from my hands, and found the page for me. As if I didn't know my numbers. Why did they think that was necessary?
See? Just little repeated things like that. Not JUST the driving. All of it.
Yes, I'd love to share it with you. I'm very sorry for your losses.Are you laid back and gentle in your approach? Or do you look flustered
I would love that btw. I would like some TLC. My partner died, then my gran, then my brother. All in the last 2.5 years. No extra visitors. Looking after 3 kids, quite pressured and flustered. Moved house, trying to decorate, take kids to clubs etc. On the go constantly, with no relatives of mine in the same country. I'm in Scotland, they are in England. My deceased partners relatives are here and help out when I have no option but get the kids watched for an appointment. But rarely even get a lift offered. I had one last Friday but it was months ago that I was offered one before that lol.
If only you could transfer these offers around the world! Lol
Thanks. I have learned that there is nothing to fear when you Trust in Him. That He can bring peace even in the worst of times. That He sends comfort and prepares your paths so that you can cope. We have a Perfect Father.Yes, I'd love to share it with you. I'm very sorry for your losses.
If only we could get together over a cup of tea so I could see why people are so kindly disposed to you. I suspect that the Lord has given you a gentle demeanour and a kind spirit.Oh, on the "flustered" question.... if anything, maybe I move a little bit slowly. That doesn't mean I can't get there, though. The woman who yanked the hymnal out of my hand honestly thought she was doing me a favor.
The 1st adjective used to describe my disorder is "fluctuating." But many who see me walking relatively normally after seeing me walk with great difficulty, especially doctors, say I am faking it or it's all in my head.If it makes you feel better, I’m 95% sure an incident with me on an airplane was used in a national news story as a example of mid-air miracles (the phenomenon where people board an airport with assistance while using a wheelchair, but when the plane lands are “healed” and walk out without assistance, the implication being they lied to get good plane seating).
People see what they want to see, regardless of the reality.
Some people may not need wheelchairs *every minute of every day.* They just can't go very far at a time, or some days are better than others. You know that already. Just a public service announcement for those who don't. For example, my husband's former boss was recently medically retired due to ALS. He had been using a wheelchair at work, his final days on the job, but when we visited him at home, he was having a good day and was able to walk around. It was only his speech that was noticeably slurred. Next time we visit, he might not be having such a good day, and he might be in the chair. Some people think wheelchairs are only for people with total paralysis, and if you can move your legs, why do you need one? These people are poorly educated on the subject.If it makes you feel better, I’m 95% sure an incident with me on an airplane was used in a national news story as a example of mid-air miracles (the phenomenon where people board an airport with assistance while using a wheelchair, but when the plane lands are “healed” and walk out without assistance, the implication being they lied to get good plane seating).
People see what they want to see, regardless of the reality.
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