A Godly Christian Marriage

[Christsfreeservant]

“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.​

​

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:1-7 ESV).​

As Christian married women, we are to be in submission to our husbands, “as to the Lord.” For, “as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (see Ephesians 5:22-24). And the reason I have added in these words from Ephesians 5 is that it is critically important that we understand that this submission has stipulations. For, “as to the Lord,” is to be understood as “in the same manner as we submit to Christ.” And Christ would never require that we submit to sin.

So a requirement to submit to sinning against our Lord in any way would, thus, be an exception to submission to our husbands. We do not have to submit to anything that is sinful, that is immoral, and that is contrary to God’s will and purpose for our lives. We are not to disobey God in order to be in submission to our spouses. And we are not to compromise our faith and biblical convictions in order to submit to any human authority (1)(2). But we should remain humble, loving, and kind, with a servant’s heart.

Now, this part about “even if some do not obey the word,” appears to be in relationship to Christian wives of husbands who did not believe in Jesus Christ and his gospel message. So, this would be a situation where the wife believed in Jesus but the husband didn’t. So it would appear that he had heard the message of the gospel of Christ but that he had refused it. So the Christian wife of the unbelieving husband who had refused to believe in Christ was not to try to force the issue, but to just be a godly example.

Now this next section is somewhat cultural to that part of the world and to that day and time in history, but there is certainly a general lesson that is to be learned from this, and that is a lesson in connection to us wives having respectful and pure conduct. We should dress accordingly in all modesty and propriety. We should not be sensual nor seductive in our dress or makeup or with any outward adorning on our bodies. And what is private, for our husbands only, should be kept hidden and not displayed for the world to see.

We should be women of God who do not work to draw attention to our physical bodies, but we should be women of God who are morally pure, modest, upright, honest, godly, faithful, kind, gentle, and obedient to our Lord, who care about other people and their needs, and who care about the salvation of human souls, and who also are ministers of the gospel of Christ, as we all are to be. For a “quiet spirit” does not mean “silent.” For we are all called to share the gospel of Christ with other people.

And Christian husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. And I assume this first part has to do with the fact that men and women are different from each other. We are not just biologically different, but we are wired differently in our ways of thinking and approaching subjects and working out problems. So, men should not expect their wives to be just like them other than in godliness, moral purity, honesty, faithfulness, and in obedience to God.

And married men are to treat their wives in this godly manner, loving them as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, and in loving them as they do their own bodies. And they are to be those who have left their parents’ authority, and who now hold fast to (cling to like glue) their wives in faithfulness and in integrity of the marriage relationship in order that the two might become one flesh (see Ephesians 5:25-33). And they are to treat their wives with honor so that their prayers may not be hindered.

And us wives are to treat our husbands with respect (regard, submission, purity of mind and heart and behavior, value, care, concern, recognition, interest, affection, and honor). And we are to be their “help meets”. And a marriage is to be a partnership, with give and take on both sides, with each showing mutual respect, one to the other, and with each helping the other. For God did not design husbands to rule over their wives with an iron fist or for wives to be doormats under their feet. We should work with each other.

See also: [Genesis 2:24; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:1-7; 2 Peter 2:13-19; 1 Corinthians 5:1-2; 1 Corinthians 6:9-20; Ephesians 5:1-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; Titus 2:3-5; Matthew 5:28; Matthew 15:19-20; Matthew 19:9; Mark 7:20-22; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:13-21]

A Shield About Me

By Thomas Donn Charles / Williams Charles Henry

Thou Oh LORD, art a shield about me
You're my glory and my lifter of my head
Thou Oh LORD, art a shield about me
You're my glory and my lifter of my head

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
You're the lifter of my head

Caution: This link may contain ads

(1) Exceptions to Obedience to Authorities
(2) Worship God Alone

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.​

​

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:1-7 ESV).​

As Christian married women, we are to be in submission to our husbands, “as to the Lord.” For, “as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (see Ephesians 5:22-24). And the reason I have added in these words from Ephesians 5 is that it is critically important that we understand that this submission has stipulations. For, “as to the Lord,” is to be understood as “in the same manner as we submit to Christ.” And Christ would never require that we submit to sin.

So a requirement to submit to sinning against our Lord in any way would, thus, be an exception to submission to our husbands. We do not have to submit to anything that is sinful, that is immoral, and that is contrary to God’s will and purpose for our lives. We are not to disobey God in order to be in submission to our spouses. And we are not to compromise our faith and biblical convictions in order to submit to any human authority (1)(2). But we should remain humble, loving, and kind, with a servant’s heart.

Now, this part about “even if some do not obey the word,” appears to be in relationship to Christian wives of husbands who did not believe in Jesus Christ and his gospel message. So, this would be a situation where the wife believed in Jesus but the husband didn’t. So it would appear that he had heard the message of the gospel of Christ but that he had refused it. So the Christian wife of the unbelieving husband who had refused to believe in Christ was not to try to force the issue, but to just be a godly example.

Now this next section is somewhat cultural to that part of the world and to that day and time in history, but there is certainly a general lesson that is to be learned from this, and that is a lesson in connection to us wives having respectful and pure conduct. We should dress accordingly in all modesty and propriety. We should not be sensual nor seductive in our dress or makeup or with any outward adorning on our bodies. And what is private, for our husbands only, should be kept hidden and not displayed for the world to see.

We should be women of God who do not work to draw attention to our physical bodies, but we should be women of God who are morally pure, modest, upright, honest, godly, faithful, kind, gentle, and obedient to our Lord, who care about other people and their needs, and who care about the salvation of human souls, and who also are ministers of the gospel of Christ, as we all are to be. For a “quiet spirit” does not mean “silent.” For we are all called to share the gospel of Christ with other people.

And Christian husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. And I assume this first part has to do with the fact that men and women are different from each other. We are not just biologically different, but we are wired differently in our ways of thinking and approaching subjects and working out problems. So, men should not expect their wives to be just like them other than in godliness, moral purity, honesty, faithfulness, and in obedience to God.

And married men are to treat their wives in this godly manner, loving them as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, and in loving them as they do their own bodies. And they are to be those who have left their parents’ authority, and who now hold fast to (cling to like glue) their wives in faithfulness and in integrity of the marriage relationship in order that the two might become one flesh (see Ephesians 5:25-33). And they are to treat their wives with honor so that their prayers may not be hindered.

And us wives are to treat our husbands with respect (regard, submission, purity of mind and heart and behavior, value, care, concern, recognition, interest, affection, and honor). And we are to be their “help meets”. And a marriage is to be a partnership, with give and take on both sides, with each showing mutual respect, one to the other, and with each helping the other. For God did not design husbands to rule over their wives with an iron fist or for wives to be doormats under their feet. We should work with each other.

See also: [Genesis 2:24; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:1-7; 2 Peter 2:13-19; 1 Corinthians 5:1-2; 1 Corinthians 6:9-20; Ephesians 5:1-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; Titus 2:3-5; Matthew 5:28; Matthew 15:19-20; Matthew 19:9; Mark 7:20-22; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:13-21]

A Shield About Me

By Thomas Donn Charles / Williams Charles Henry

Thou Oh LORD, art a shield about me
You're my glory and my lifter of my head
Thou Oh LORD, art a shield about me
You're my glory and my lifter of my head

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
You're the lifter of my head

Caution: This link may contain ads

(1) Exceptions to Obedience to Authorities
(2) Worship God Alone

"And us wives" suggests to me that you are married. Let me ask you, have you reached the ideal in your marriage what you have described as the perfect marriage? If so, let me know your secret.

My first marriage failed because my wife failed to realise that Jesus love me as I was without having to be changed according to her ideas. I didn't realise that because Jesus loved me as I was, I didn't have to prove anything to her, so I complied with her the best I could, but still fell short of her ideal, and she left because she "could live the rest of her life like this."

I have been married to my second wife for 33 years. We just accept each other as we are. She has a Catholic background and my theology is Calvinist Puritan. We don't try to change each other. We work through our marriage and life problems together and we don't allow the sun to go down on our anger. I have a crazy sense of humour but she doesn't laugh at my jokes. But the biggest laugh that she has is when I mess up and when she is right and I am wrong. My favourite saying is, "I am the head of my house; whatever my wife says shall be done!" Happy wife, happy life.

if I tried to repeat what you pointed out in your post, it would go right over her head and her reply would be, "I don't want to hear about all that crap." She is more concerned that when she experiences difficulties, am I right there to be a strength for her? There are things, like driving our car on the motorway, she will not do. She says, "Why bark if I have a dog to bark for me?" When we lived in Auckland, where cockroaches were a common sight, it was my job to get rid of any that appeared. When our daughter was born, my wife went back into hospital for a week, and I had to look after a week old baby for that week. I had to bottle feed her and change her diapers. My wife and I have a deal; she cooks the meal and I do the dishes. Every now and again, she suggests I cook the tea, and I am able to cook my favourite meal. This shows that our roles are not clear cut. They blur into each other.

So my message is, that it is one thing to have all the correct theory, but it is quite another to put it into practice. I assert that 99% of Christian marriages fall far short of the theory that you are espousing. If you haven't learned that by now, you will learn it soon, and I sincerely hope that your marriage will survive the shattering revelation that your marriage has all the same faults as all those who see as problematic marriages among your fellow church members.

 

[Christsfreeservant]

"And us wives" suggests to me that you are married. Let me ask you, have you reached the ideal in your marriage what you have described as the perfect marriage? If so, let me know your secret.

My first marriage failed because my wife failed to realise that Jesus love me as I was without having to be changed according to her ideas. I didn't realise that because Jesus loved me as I was, I didn't have to prove anything to her, so I complied with her the best I could, but still fell short of her ideal, and she left because she "could live the rest of her life like this."

I have been married to my second wife for 33 years. We just accept each other as we are. She has a Catholic background and my theology is Calvinist Puritan. We don't try to change each other. We work through our marriage and life problems together and we don't allow the sun to go down on our anger. I have a crazy sense of humour but she doesn't laugh at my jokes. But the biggest laugh that she has is when I mess up and when she is right and I am wrong. My favourite saying is, "I am the head of my house; whatever my wife says shall be done!" Happy wife, happy life.

if I tried to repeat what you pointed out in your post, it would go right over her head and her reply would be, "I don't want to hear about all that crap." She is more concerned that when she experiences difficulties, am I right there to be a strength for her? There are things, like driving our car on the motorway, she will not do. She says, "Why bark if I have a dog to bark for me?" When we lived in Auckland, where cockroaches were a common sight, it was my job to get rid of any that appeared. When our daughter was born, my wife went back into hospital for a week, and I had to look after a week old baby for that week. I had to bottle feed her and change her diapers. My wife and I have a deal; she cooks the meal and I do the dishes. Every now and again, she suggests I cook the tea, and I am able to cook my favourite meal. This shows that our roles are not clear cut. They blur into each other.

So my message is, that it is one thing to have all the correct theory, but it is quite another to put it into practice. I assert that 99% of Christian marriages fall far short of the theory that you are espousing. If you haven't learned that by now, you will learn it soon, and I sincerely hope that your marriage will survive the shattering revelation that your marriage has all the same faults as all those who see as problematic marriages among your fellow church members.

The Scriptures are given to us to put into practice in our daily lives. They teach us how we are to live. They are not mere suggestions nor recommendations, but they are God's commands to us. If they were not attainable, we wouldn't be given them for us to put into practice. In our flesh natures we can't do this. In the power of God and in his strength and wisdom we can do this, maybe not absolutely perfect in every way all the time, but we can attain what this is talking about, but it takes both the husband and the wife to make it happen, although certainly one can do his/her part even if the other doesn't do his/her part. But it does make it harder when only one is doing his/her part. But lack of perfection is never to be used as an excuse for continued, deliberate, and habitual sin against one's spouse. We should all be endeavoring to obey our Lord and his commands and to live morally pure, upright, godly, honest, faithful lives in obedience to our Lord.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

The Scriptures are given to us to put into practice in our daily lives. They teach us how we are to live. They are not mere suggestions nor recommendations, but they are God's commands to us. If they were not attainable, we wouldn't be given them for us to put into practice. In our flesh natures we can't do this. In the power of God and in his strength and wisdom we can do this, maybe not absolutely perfect in every way all the time, but we can attain what this is talking about, but it takes both the husband and the wife to make it happen, although certainly one can do his/her part even if the other doesn't do his/her part. But it does make it harder when only one is doing his/her part. But lack of perfection is never to be used as an excuse for continued, deliberate, and habitual sin against one's spouse. We should all be endeavoring to obey our Lord and his commands and to live morally pure, upright, godly, honest, faithful lives in obedience to our Lord.'

Who said that I was promoting continued, deliberate and habitual sin against one's spouse? The Scripture says that the one who does not love does not know God for God is love. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. When Christ loves the church, He consumes it with love. When we can't be perfect, He is perfect for us. He freely bestows His perfect righteousness on us in love so that when we look at our spouse, we see that Jesus loves him or her as they are, and therefore we know to love them the same. The love between spouses is not dependent on whether who "does their part or not". A husband can continue to love his wife even if she is paralysed on a hospital bed not able to do "her part", and vice versa.

In my marriage, I don't care about following "Scriptural" instructions. I say to myself, "What can I do to make her know that I really do love her?" I based my words and actions on how the Lord would speak and act toward me, because everything He does and says is based on love - because He is God and God is love. I don't always get it right, and neither does she, but we know that the desire and intention is there. That has what made our marriage work for 33 years so far.

 

[Christsfreeservant]

Who said that I was promoting continued, deliberate and habitual sin against one's spouse? The Scripture says that the one who does not love does not know God for God is love. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. When Christ loves the church, He consumes it with love. When we can't be perfect, He is perfect for us. He freely bestows His perfect righteousness on us in love so that when we look at our spouse, we see that Jesus loves him or her as they are, and therefore we know to love them the same. The love between spouses is not dependent on whether who "does their part or not". A husband can continue to love his wife even if she is paralysed on a hospital bed not able to do "her part", and vice versa.

In my marriage, I don't care about following "Scriptural" instructions. I say to myself, "What can I do to make her know that I really do love her?" I based my words and actions on how the Lord would speak and act toward me, because everything He does and says is based on love - because He is God and God is love. I don't always get it right, and neither does she, but we know that the desire and intention is there. That has what made our marriage work for 33 years so far.

I did not accuse you of anything. I don't know you, do I? If I don't know you, how could I possibly accuse you of anything? But even there I would have to have proof, right? So, no, I was not accusing you of anything. You asked a question, and I answered your question. Then you gave your opinion on the subject, so that's all that needs to be said. Thank you for reading and for responding. Sue Love

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I did not accuse you of anything. I don't know you, do I? If I don't know you, how could I possibly accuse you of anything? But even there I would have to have proof, right? So, no, I was not accusing you of anything. You asked a question, and I answered your question. Then you gave your opinion on the subject, so that's all that needs to be said. Thank you for reading and for responding. Sue Love

What I am learning is not to underestimate the love of Christ for us. Love covers all aspects of what is required in a Christian marriage. When love is the guide, then both spouses work together in harmony and the marriage remains strong and fulfills the purpose for which God formed it.