A Friendship ended

[tom_Rics]

sorry i don't think i can explain this properly so its gone now

 

[jenptcfan]

As far as i can see i have three options, i can forget about it,( although i dont know how long it will take for my feelings for her to go away, and i do find it hard to accept the situation when i have nothing to understand and recieve no peace about it when i pray to god)

Secondly i can risk everything by telling her how i feel, but in doing this i lose any chance of ever being friends with her and may never know what really happened. She has also told me that we are only friends twice and i see no real sign that she feels that way about me.

Lastly i could try and show her how i find it difficult to accept what is happening and just desire to know what is going on so i can at least shake hands and agree that it is the best thing to do.

Thank you to anyone who reads all of that and please any advice would be deeply appreciated.

Hi tom!

Welcome to Christian forums.

I just have a couple of observations:

1. If it's God's will that two people be in a relationship together, He will not give someone a complete green light and give the other person a red light. Could your emotions be clouding what you feel is direction from God? That happens to me sometimes, so that's why I ask.

2. She already knows how you feel. There's no need for you to tell her again how you feel, because she already knows and is reacting to it. Also, it sounds like you've already lost the chance to be friends with her because she is no longer responding to you. She's already bluntly told you that you can no longer be friends. Even though you don't have an answer as to why, you need to respect that. It's the way you handle situations like this that will imprint itself in her mind about you. If you bring it up over and over and won't accept her feelings, she will form a negative opinion of you. It would have probably been kinder of her to give you some sort of reasoning behind why she doesn't want to be your friend, but she didn't. She probably thinks it would be easier for you not to know. She may be right.

3. Remember that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!

 

[KLLM82]

Hi Tom,

I understand how you feel about this situation right now as I am partly dealing with the same thing as you are . You mentioned that you feel that God wants you to feel this way about her...as in perhaps she's the gal for you? Um, if so, I think God would also put it in her heart what He has put in yours. But just because she's acting the way she is now does not necessarily mean that God is not working in her...maybe she's confused about how she feels as well and doesn't know how to best approach it? Before you consider talking to her about how you truely feel, I would suggest to ask God to let you know the proper time to talk to her about how you feel if that's what He wants you do. Communicating with her would definitely answer a lot of your q's and make you more at peace but really, ask God for the proper timing to do so if it is His will for you guys to be together.

I'll pray for you

~Katia~

 

[fishstix]

So let me get this straight - you got to the point where you wanted to break off the friendship with her, but instead she broke off the friendship with you, so now you want to be friends again? So, at the time when you were going to tell her that you couldn't be friends, were you actually hoping that she would react by wanting to go out with you and not by agreeing with you to end the friendship?

 

[tom_Rics]

hi,

Thanks for the comments. I've seen i cannot really explain this properly on here. I also find that this doesn't really help my mind in seeking God in this. trying to understand it in human terms confuses me and it leads to hurt more than anything else because as the mind tends to do there is always more focus on human failings than anything else. If i really trust God in this (which i do) he will provide the peace of understanding that is required and that means stepping out in faith for him no matter what option he leads me to.

To jenptcfan:

1. Hard to explain but several paths have led me to see what God has worked in my heart, others have aided me see this. I seek God to reveal if i am clouded in my view. Also yes there is a green light for me, but i cannot see her heart only God knows that and i need to hold to him in what he calls me to is right, if.

2. She doesn't know how i feel, not certainly anyway from the conversations we have had. Sorry if i made it sound like she did.
I appreciate what you say about not enforcing what i feel is right, God provides the wisdom of what to do and i will not seek my own path in this.

KLLM82

If it is my heart i trust God to put something in her heart even if i cannot see it at the moment, if he has led me to see this feeling within myself and called me to seek out her heart i trust that there is something worthy of honouring God in pursuing the matter.

fishstix

In telling her not to be friends i would have wanted just that, i did not expect her to turn round and tell me anything different. That has not be the path so i cannot think about what would have happened along it if God did lead me to say that.

 

[tom_Rics]

Thanks for the comments though they have given me things to seek God about.

I will let you know what happens in this matter.

 

[KLLM82]

Do what is needed...Follow the counsel of God for He will surely lead you into what you need to do.

~Katia~

 

[fishstix]

If she kept emphasizing that you are just friends it likely means that she knows you have some sort of feelings developing (ie. it has been showing in the way you talk or act or something). Or she could have had relationships in the past that got messy when the guy thought that they were more than friends and doesn't want the same to happen with you.