a few questions

[restore]

I have a few questions , today a friend emailing telling me to surrender first fruits each day each week, he says it means first time, first thing of each day, is that so?

and cuz i came from abuse, i now feel more delivered, but i still have a strange thought,i feel i still agree that my parents used to beat me when i was a child....i do not agree that they beat me to death so hard etc, but i agree they had the right to punish a kid using the physical punishment way....is that so?

but i still received a lot hurt from child beat already, i m confused now. i think the real hurt is not from beat, it is from the grief feeling.

last question is, how to think about anger ? is it wrong? but God also has anger, right? and why not let anger last till the end of the day?

 

[BigToe]

Anger is a tricky thing. A lot of people tell you it is wrong and bad to feel anger. But at the same time, if you don't find an outlet for it in a healthy expression of anger, it can get worse. Unfortunately, anger isn't one of those emotions that most of us have examples as to how to express in a healthy and safe manner. You think of anger and you think of yelling or violence or something else negative. But it doesn't have to be. You can take anger and use it to write, paint, work out, garden, or do any number of things. So you need to find a way to express your anger in a healthy and helpful manner without letting it consume you.

As for the emotional aspect hurting you more than the physical, I think that makes complete sense. Bruises and broken bones heal, but the memory of the beating and the feelings of betrayal and neglect stay with you.

 

[Gatorgal]

Hello! God does want us to punish our children when they do wrong, just as he does us. That does not mean we must beat them. I was an abused child, I know the difference. When my children were young we did spank them, but never beat them. As far as anger goes, why would you want to keep it all day. Anger is a terrible thing. It can and will take over your life and make you misserable. I grew up with a lot of anger, took me years to overcome. Get rid of it now so you can not waste any of the precious like God has given you. Take care!

 

[UnitynLove]

Anger is a natural emotion that we all have but we should not let it dwell in us because God didn't make us to hold on to things but to be free. God is the avenger of all so whatever problem you may have you can be sure that God is going to take care of it.

 

[Annoula]

no parent has the right to punish their child in an abusive way.
if they do they are wrong. don't take the guilt on yourself and don't excuse them for their awful behaviour.

my mother used to hit me too when i would do things that she didn't like, (i made her mad probably but don't remember what i did) but it was not often and it was not abusive (no scars or anything).
i usually don't think about it, but when i do, i don't like it. i get angry with her even for this small amount of physical punishment.
hey i was just a little girl, how was i supposed to behave the way she wanted me to??? i was living in my own childish world. she should have been more patient with me.
unfortunately her own life was a very difficult one, so this is the excuse i use to calm my nerves down when i get furious with her for whatever reason.


no feeling is wrong. anger is a very natural emotion, we all have it. we just need to take care of it and not let it loose.

anger has to do with a deeper feeling of pain, so it's pain we have to deal with.

we all have our own pains so you are not alone.
take care of yourself.

 

[BelindaP]

You are right. The physical wounds of child beating will heal themselves in time. It is the emotional and spiritual scars that can last a lifetime. Indeed, it is not the severity of the beatings that matter as much as the atmosphere in which they are administered. If a child lives in an environment where they can never measure up, or the rules change all the time, the scars on their phsyches can be very severe.

I do believe that a modest amount of physical discipline is necessary for some children. However, it should never leave marks of any kind, and it should be used as only a last resort and in a consistent manner. The parent should also remember that not every child needs to be straightened out thus. Some children are very reasonable and do not require any kind of physical chastisement. Just a word or a look will often suffice.

The anger is also normal and OK. Yes, both God and Jesus have been angry. It is called righteous anger. The fact that your parents took away your feeling of safety and unconditional love at such a tender age is surely worthy of righteous anger. They will have to answer for it on the last day. The only time when anger becomes a sin is if you sin because of it. There is a verse in the bible that states that one should be angry and not sin.

The reason that the bible states that you should not let your anger go past the sunset is that when you are lying in bed angry, you tend to get very dark thoughts. Thoughts of rage and hate. You become more vulnerable to the suggestions of the Devil. If you are feeling angry, you need to take it to God before you lay down to sleep.

Forgiveness doesn't come all at once. You will find that over the years you will become angry over and over again about what your parents put you through. That is perfectly normal, especially since the hurt takes a long time to fade. Forgiveness is a choice that you have to make, not an emotion. Sometimes you have to forgive over and over again, because the hurt continues to well up. That's OK. God understands and knows how badly you hurt. He will comfort you if you ask Him.

There are a lot of ways to deal with the anger when it comes. One way that works for me is to pray for the person with whom I am angry. I find it very hard to be angry when I am interceding for them--and the Lord knows that they need all the prayer they can get. Sometimes the only prayer I can muster is something like "I pray that they don't drop dead just now." God has a sense of humor, too. If you keep trying, you will find it easier to ask for God's grace for them, as you begin to see just how deficient in it they truly were when taking care of you.

I hope this helps. May God pour out blessings and peace upon you and take care of you in ways you never imagined possible.