A Date with Jesus

[colleen]

As a twenty something single catholic I have often wondered why I can't find someone who wants to be with me, and sometimes I've wondered if I've remained pure for nothing (though I've never regreted my decision). I just got done reading When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy. This book deals with not just "dating", but how to live a young christian life. It also deals with the fact that not every "princess of purity" will get married, which a lot of these type of books don't deal with. While talking about how to prepare yourself to be a better husband or wife it said how those same things are actually preparing you to be a bride of Christ. And, how you should be seeking fulfillment in him first and foremost.

On that note I decided to start having dinner dates with God. Living alone I often find meal times to be when I become lonely and am most open to temptation. I think about how other people my age are out on dates. I got the idea to have a date with Jesus. I cooked a nice meal, set up two candles, and invited God to my table. I prayed, confided in him, and I realized that all the loneliness I normally experienced at meals was completely gone. I realized I needed to be giving God as much if not more attention than I plan to give to my husband some day.

I do recommend that anyone who is christian and single reads this book. It definetely put my relationship with God in perspective, and made me realize I really need to have faith that he has a plan for me instead of just saying that and then questioning his plan.

Colleen

 

[Rising_Suns]

Colleen, peace be with you,

That is excellent that you have begun seeking Christ in more aspects of your life. I know some people who did the same thing, and they found great peace through setting up dates with Jesus, like picnics and the like.

Perhaps you are being called to celibacy. I remember a conversation I once had with a Nashville Dominican sister, who told me about her testimony. She told me how when she was a young girl, she was told the very same thing; that marriage in fact is an earthly reflection and preaparation of the divine marriage between Christ and His Church. As a little girl, she asked her mommy why sisters and nuns do not marry, and her mom told her that they do in fact marry, just not a person on earth. Instead, they marry Christ Himself. So she then asked her mom why anyone would want to marry a person on earth if they can marry God (quite a perceptive question for a little girl).

And for her, the rest was history.

 

[tjboie2001]

Don't worry good things will come to you. Good things come to all.

 

[Truth and Reconciliation]

Keep living for Him, and God will reveal His will for you in time. Give Him time, my sister!

 

[frettr00]

I'm the opposite actually, I never want to get married, I'd rather be celibate for life. That usually stirs up some strange looks...

 

[Ann M]

I'm the opposite actually, I never want to get married, I'd rather be celibate for life. That usually stirs up some strange looks...

Only looks? Your kidding me aren't you? You'd think that that would get the same response as "I'm gay", which seems to make some girls leave all sensibilites at the gate whilst they go all out to prove to you that they are the ones who can 'cure' you!!

What a Challenge you must be to some...

 

[colleen]

I'm almost 24, and I'm at that weird age where people are either getting married or playing the field. I am obviously not doing either of those things. I of course get a variety of shocked responses when I tell people that I'm saving myself for marriage. Mostly people don't get it, think I'm naive, or try to convince me that I'll have a terrible sex life in marriage if I don't have one before marriage. Then they always argue that it is silly to wait when it is going to be impossible to find a guy who is doing the same thing. And, I my spouse might not be currently waiting, but that doesn't make my gift any less precious. Of course, it is hard to make this argument when they retort with how many guys have been okay with not having sex. And, the sad fact is not very many have. I know they are out there though.

Basically, along with giving me some ideas about God run relationships it allowed me to stop viewing my singlehood as a waste. I know that my singlehood is as much as a gift as a marriage or other vocation will be someday.

Colleen

 

[Carrye]

Basically, along with giving me some ideas about God run relationships it allowed me to stop viewing my singlehood as a waste. I know that my singlehood is as much as a gift as a marriage or other vocation will be someday.

And as a friend reminded me, if you're truly called to married life, then a young man will be provided as well. But all in His Time.

 

[colleen]

I'm still working on patience. I try to remember that God's plan is more beautiful than anything I can imagaine, and I just have to be willing to do things on His schedule instead of my schedule.

Colleen

 

[krstlros]

You know, Colleen, after thinking about what you wrote, I've come to the conclusion that when I have meals by myself, (I'm also single, BTW) I often have conversations with God. Never really thinking of it as a "date", rather, just a time to just talk about what's going on in my head and trying to figure out things that sometimes life just allow us to do.

I am part of the 40something crowd and made a decison in my mid-thirties to wait for God to send me my soul mate if that is His path for me to take. At that time, I also decided not to "stress" (for lack of a better word right now) over my sexual status. I was and still am a virgin and will remain so until marriage, if that is what God leads me to.

Putting all that in God's hands may sound strange to some people, and believe me, I've had strange looks from a lot of people including members of my own family. And yet, I've found it a relief to just leave it all in God's hands and have Him lead me to wherever he wants me to. Whether that is to remain single and pure, or lead me to marriage, I will embrace it and ask God for the strength to accept His will whatever that may be.

 

[colleen]

krstlors,
That was beautiful testimony. It always gives me strength to know that other woman are in this battle with me. I use the term date, because I have all these ideas of things I want to do to make my future husband feel special, but I was rarely thinking outside of my usual prayers, mass, and such when it came to God. I wanted to invite him to be a special part of my life. I come from a family where everyone was expected to be home for dinner. Dinner was a time to express regrets, high points, future plans, and our love for one another. I always imagined having this with my own family one day, and I realized that while I live physically alone I don't live alone, God is always with me.

I can't explain the peace I have felt since putting my love life in God's hands. In the past I would say that I was doing this, but then I would get down when I didn't meet a guy at a party or that cute guy across the way wasn't interested. I realized that while I was saying I had faith in God I really didn't, because I kept trying to force the issue. Now I'm trying to really center my life on God. I know that if it is in God's plan the man I am ment to marry with love my outspoken love of the Catholic church, my purity, and my refusal to lower myself to the substandards held for woman today.

Have you read When God Writes Your Love Story. It reflects a lot of what you were talking about.

Colleen

 

[krstlros]

No, I haven't read the book. But it does sound interesting. I'll be sure to look for it.

It's rather interesting that as far as I can remember, there has always been books on "How to Get The Man Of Your Dreams", or "How To Find The Right Person For You". And yet there has never been books out there for people who have chosen to live a celibate life. Perhaps, then, we wouldn't have so much problems of teen pregnancies, extra marital affairs, issues of pre-marital sex and the like. It seems the older you get the more presure there is for a person to experience sex outside of marriage.

What a lot of people don't understand that our sexuality is a gift from God and shouldn't be taken lightly. And that our relationship with God is just as important, if not more so, as our relationship with the human race.

Keep strong Colleen. You can always PM me whenever you feel the need.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Taken the entirely opposite path-- I so admire those who work and struggle to keep their purity for their future spouse- whether that spouse be human or divine.

Bernadette's Godmother is 21 and has struggled with eating disorders and she began to be healed by setting a place for Jesus at the table, asking Him to dine with her.

I will offer my DMC today for all of you here striving to maintain your purity until marriage or vows of celibacy!

 

[Dream]

Just remember that women are not the only ones who struggle with this.

I know I am only 19, but I have never had a girlfriend before or even been on a date, and I have a feeling I never will. I'm not the kind of guy somebody would want to date, plus I'm not attractive. Lonliness is one of my biggest struggles I face. Even though they won't say it, I know that my parents are disapointed in me.

Your idea of having dinner with God is great, but unfortunately it is not practical for me now. I have two places I can choose to eat: the noisy cafeteria or in my dorm room where my roomate has the TV on all the time.

But thanks for the book suggestion, Colleen. I'll keep my eye out for a copy.

 

[Carrye]

I have never had a girlfriend before or even been on a date

I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never been on a date. Ok, well maybe that one time, but it was for sushi, and that doesn't really count.

I'm not the kind of guy somebody would want to date, plus I'm not attractive.

What, do you have cooties? Open, oozing sores? Are you a leper? Sorry DT, I don't mean to make light of this. I have been there. I was the queen of "Top 100 Reasons Why I Stink" lists. But do you know what changed that for me? It wasn't any guy coming and asking me out.

 

[colleen]

Dream Theatre,
I thank God for men like you. I have to say that your trials with purity must be harder than mine, because the worldly pressure is more constant. And, there are many woman out there praying for the strength of young men like yourself.

You don't have to have dinner. I lived in the dorms, and I know it is hard to find quite time with God in the cafeteria. But, you could do other things. Invite Jesus to exercise with you, go outside to read a book with Him, or went spiritually uplifting movies and have a movie night. Just a thought.

I will pray for your strength on this journey. I can't tell you how uplifting it is to hear that there are princes of purity out there.

Colleen

 

[Carrye]

I can't tell you how uplifting it is to hear that there are princes of purity out there.

 

[krstlros]

DT,
I admire men who have made the choice for themselves to stay pure despite the presures society puts on men.

I think it's totally and grossly, unfair that secular society expects the male population to "sow their wild oats" so to speak while women are expected to remain pure and chaste.

Attractiveness is more than physical. The beauty of a person radiates from the inside out. You are beautiful in God's eyes, and the woman whom God has chosen for you will also see that beauty within you.

I also lived in the dorms when I was going to college, and I know it's really difficult to find a quiet moment to yourself. But, even in a crowded room, you can find a way to have your date with God. It may not be as visable as you would have if you were alone. Lots of times it's a matter of taking your meals when the cafateria isn't as crowded, or learning to tune out "stuff" when it's impossible to be alone. One semester I had a 7am class and took my breakfast as soon as the cafateria was open. It was a perfect time for me to sit and just be with my thoughts with God since there were I believe only 10 people in the entire place.

Remember, as Colleen has said, you may be lonely, but you are never alone. God is always with you.

 

[Rising_Suns]

I know that my singlehood is as much as a gift as a marriage or other vocation will be someday.

And what's more is that celibacy is in fact the preferred vocation. It is celibacy that should be that natural "next step" in life and marriage that should be discerned, not vs.

 

[Roald]

I wasn't too worried about finding a spouse a few months ago, but lately, the idea is weighing heavily on my mind. I just started at a new school, and some girls have been trying to set me up with other girls. It is a little awkward trying to find reasons why I'm not interesting in "dating," when I'm just not interesting in having premarital sex.