A Cure for the Chaos and Problems in Christian Homes

[AVBunyan]

Our Christian homes are not what they should be – we all know this – we all struggle in the area of the home. Our society rises and falls based upon the spiritual success of the Christian home. Try this – throw out all the “Family Help” books, fire the marriage counselors, and turn off Dr. Phil!!!


Open the scriptures to Ephesians 5 and let us keep it real simple – 3 simple commands. You folks may already know this but in case you don’t then here we go!

1. Husbands, love your wives.

Do you know why God commanded the man to love his wife? Because men don’t naturally love. We men are rough, crude, analytical, “deal with the facts” type creatures. We think with our heads based upon the facts. We are naturally tender. We are hard by nature. Our problem is not our wives – our problem is we don’t love our wives unconditionally. When our wives start acting up instead of seeking to be the big “corrector” maybe we need to see if we have been neglecting this simple command. But, one says, “Yea, but my wife is a rough one and can’t cook, clean, talks mean to me, etc.” So, God says to love her. “Yea, but my wife looks rough in the morning and when I get home!” Ok, love her. “Yea, but my wife….” Ok, love her. “Yea, if she would just submit then I’d love her!” God commanded you to love whether she submitted to you or not.

Men need to love their wives no matter what.

2. Wives, submit to your own husbands.

Do you know why God commanded the wife to submit to their own husbands? Women don’t submit naturally. God gave them a tender heart – they naturally love but that submission is another thing. “Yea, but husband makes all the wrong decisions!” Ok, submit and trust God. “Yea, but my husband is a “derpis” sometimes!” (Derpis – our family name for being whacky or stupid.) Ok, submit and trust God. “Yea, but he is selfish, non-understanding, etc.” Ok, submit and trust God. “Yea, but he doesn’t love me!” God told you to submit. You were commanded to submit whether he loved you or not.

Am I saying to submit to unscriptural or cruel requests? Of course not – you know what I’m talking about here.

By the way – the scriptures say “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,” – notice the word “own” – think about this and women in the work place.

Women need to submit to their own husbands.

3. Children, obey your parents in the Lord.

Do you know why God commanded the children to obey their parents? Children do not naturally obey. “Yea, but my parents are weird!” Ok, God told you to obey. “Yea, but I just don’t understand why they do things.” Ok, God told you to obey – you haven’t learned enough yet. “Yea, but my way is better.” God told you to obey.

Children need to obey their parents.

You see how simple that is – three commands:

Husbands love.
Wives submit.
Children obey.

Do you realize how much would be solved if we would obey those three simple commands!?!?!?

Life is so simple – oh, the simplicity that is in Christ!!! Oh, how we make it so complicated.

I close with a personal example. Years ago my wife and I were having some rough problems. We went to our preacher. He told us to both go home write down all our “grievances” and what we thought the problems were and then give them to him. After giving him our list of “grievances” he told us he would compile the list, study the issues, and then we would meet again at his house and he would give his thoughts on the matter.

So, after a week we met at the house. We sat there – he gave us the list and asked us if it was accurate and he sat there a minute or two in complete quietness. He then sat back, looked at me and said, “Do you know what your problem is Brett? You are an unloving husband.”

He then sat back and looked at my wife and said, “Do you know what your problem is Jan? You are an unsubmissive wife.”


That was it – case closed – he never discussed all the details or our “grievances” against each other for our “grievances” were not the issue – the issue was we were not fulfilling the role God gave to both of us and that is what he spent his time expounding. That was a great lesson on marriage.

We still struggle in these areas but at least we know where to look at first when problems arise.

May God bless!

 

[LostnFound]

Wow...so simple it's scary. But how right you are!

 

[daveleau]

"Parents discipline your children"
Pro 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.

"Parents, do not put riches above the teaching of your child"
Mat 19:16-23
Riches are not the answer. We all too often have dual incomes in homes when we have children, and we are doing nothing but paying for things we don't need. We need to cut back on our greed and allow one parent to stay home and teach the child and guide it. This is the main reason children are unruly today, which is now called ADD instead of undisciplined.

 

[LostnFound]

This is the main reason children are unruly today, which is now called ADD instead of undisciplined.

Although, I agree with most of what you said, and I strongly believe that this condition is way over diagnosed...

PLEASE don't make a blanket statement that invalidates the reality of this condition. I am the mother of 3, who has AD/HD. So, I knew, from before birth, that my oldest child has it, too. One would only have to spend a day in my brain to understand what a true handicap it can be, when untreated!

 

[daveleau]

The condition does exist, but it is very highly over diagnosed. There are some that have it and it is probably an issue with toxins in our environment, as several other ailments are. But, the majority of cases that I have come across are because of a lack of discipline and nothing more.

I will pray for you, LnF.

 

[Iosias]

1. Husbands, love your wives.
2. Wives, submit to your own husbands.
3. Children, obey your parents in the Lord.

 

[ZiSunka]

Although, I agree with most of what you said, and I strongly believe that this condition is way over diagnosed...

PLEASE don't make a blanket statement that invalidates the reality of this condition. I am the mother of 3, who has AD/HD. So, I knew, from before birth, that my oldest child has it, too. One would only have to spend a day in my brain to understand what a true handicap it can be, when untreated!

There are children who legitimately have ADD or ADHD. But a lot of children aren't given proper screening or diagnosis before they are medicated. Of all my friends with young children, about 30% of them are on medication or have been told by their school that they need medication for ADD. In most of these cases, the children were raised for the first 5 years of their lives in day care centers, where there is often an extreme amount of competition for attention by the youngsters, and when they get to school, they take those attention-seeking behaviors with them and that gets diagnosed as ADD or ADHD.

It sounds like your kids got the proper screening by medical and psych professionals and that's great for them! They will get the chance to live happier, fuller lives because of the treatments they are getting now.

But for other kids, it's easier for the parents to medicate the kids than to parent them, so the kids get doped up so the parents can go on with their busy lives an careers.

I have to agree that although there are many children who really do have an ADD brain, there are many more who would benefit more from having full time parenting.

 

[LostnFound]

I completely agree! Especially as one who lives with it. I find it nearly as offensive that it is so over diagnosed as I do when some deny its very existence. Hope I didn't sound barky. I am just very sensitive to the idea that some deny that it is real. In a way, the over-diagnosis contributes to this problem.

But, I digress....Ad/Hd makes parenting an even bigger challenge. It is not a license to NOT parent. Rather, it is a challenge to find creative and more effective ways to parent.

 

[ZiSunka]

I completely agree! Especially as one who lives with it. I find it nearly as offensive that it is so over diagnosed as I do when some deny its very existence. Hope I didn't sound barky. I am just very sensitive to the idea that some deny that it is real. In a way, the over-diagnosis contributes to this problem.

But, I digress....Ad/Hd makes parenting an even bigger challenge. It is not a license to NOT parent. Rather, it is a challenge to find creative and more effective ways to parent.

Amen!