Chapter 1
General Roger Fitzpatrick, Commanding Officer of Fort Chesterton, is pleased. As we walk along I keep turning my head, looking this way and that. He thinks I am taking an interest in the base and the troops. In reality I am trying to find some landmarks. Simm's creek. Checkerboard hill, where I used to fly kites. But everything I remember from those far-off days is gone, buried under the concrete of the Army base.
Of course, I can't ask about what happened to those landmarks, or if any still exist. No-one knows I used to live on a farm here. The personal history of Mrs. Rebecca Braithwaite Halvorson is ficticious. My entire life, everything I told my two families, the people who raised me and then my husband and children, as well as all the people I asked to vote for me throughout my political career, has been a lie. And I must protect that lie by remaining silent on subjects which are of great importance to me. Which makes any attempt to find links to my past difficult and frustrating.
This trip isn't curing my homesickness. It's only making it worse. It is with equal sadness that I note how beautiful the weather is. A clear blue sky stretches from horizon to horizon. Was I honestly expecting something else?
I had planned the trip to Fort Chesterton, Kansas, since before the Presidential election last November. I would go whether I won or not. The only explanation I gave the White House staff for my visit was "for sentimental reasons". I wasn't planning to make any speeches, I didn't want anyone to make a fuss over me.
When we arrived I was greeted by General Fitzpatrick. Next to him was an extremely old man in a wheelchair. "This is my grandfather, James." the General said. "He very much wanted to meet you." I shook James' hand. He said, in a weak, but clear, voice "I am honored to meet you, Madam." For some reason a tiny alarm bell rang in the back of my head.
We have only been here for a few minutes when the alert sounds. A storm has formed quickly, very near by, and a tornado is approaching. My mind is in a whirl. A tornado? Here? Today? Could it be...?
Our group has sought shelter in the nearest building. I'm watching out a second floor window when the funnel cloud veered and headed directly at me.
The military personnel assigned to escort me during my visit lead me to an interior room of the building. I manage to walk the entire way without stumbling, keeping an impassive expression on my face. I've been a public figure for many years, with the corporation and as a Congresswoman. I know how to keep my feelings to myself, so that no-one can gossip about me. But the moment we enter the room I lose every shred of my self-control. I'm lying on the floor, shaking, crying. It's a good thing all the reporters are in another room and can't see this. My husband and my brother speak soothing words to me, trying to calm me down. They think I'm afraid of what's happening outside. They can't imagine the truth.
I keep my jaw tightly clenched shut, so that I will not start begging to be allowed to go back to the window and watch that funnel cloud growing closer and closer. It's not them; I desperately try to convince myself. It's just a tornado, nothing more. There are lots of tornados here in Kansas. It's not them, simply because this is the anniversary of that other storm, the one that marked the beginning of the happiest part of my life. It's not them. It's NOT them, coming for me, after all these years. Coming to take me home.
I haven't cried this hard since...
since September eighth, 1939.
(to be continued)
General Roger Fitzpatrick, Commanding Officer of Fort Chesterton, is pleased. As we walk along I keep turning my head, looking this way and that. He thinks I am taking an interest in the base and the troops. In reality I am trying to find some landmarks. Simm's creek. Checkerboard hill, where I used to fly kites. But everything I remember from those far-off days is gone, buried under the concrete of the Army base.
Of course, I can't ask about what happened to those landmarks, or if any still exist. No-one knows I used to live on a farm here. The personal history of Mrs. Rebecca Braithwaite Halvorson is ficticious. My entire life, everything I told my two families, the people who raised me and then my husband and children, as well as all the people I asked to vote for me throughout my political career, has been a lie. And I must protect that lie by remaining silent on subjects which are of great importance to me. Which makes any attempt to find links to my past difficult and frustrating.
This trip isn't curing my homesickness. It's only making it worse. It is with equal sadness that I note how beautiful the weather is. A clear blue sky stretches from horizon to horizon. Was I honestly expecting something else?
I had planned the trip to Fort Chesterton, Kansas, since before the Presidential election last November. I would go whether I won or not. The only explanation I gave the White House staff for my visit was "for sentimental reasons". I wasn't planning to make any speeches, I didn't want anyone to make a fuss over me.
When we arrived I was greeted by General Fitzpatrick. Next to him was an extremely old man in a wheelchair. "This is my grandfather, James." the General said. "He very much wanted to meet you." I shook James' hand. He said, in a weak, but clear, voice "I am honored to meet you, Madam." For some reason a tiny alarm bell rang in the back of my head.
We have only been here for a few minutes when the alert sounds. A storm has formed quickly, very near by, and a tornado is approaching. My mind is in a whirl. A tornado? Here? Today? Could it be...?
Our group has sought shelter in the nearest building. I'm watching out a second floor window when the funnel cloud veered and headed directly at me.
The military personnel assigned to escort me during my visit lead me to an interior room of the building. I manage to walk the entire way without stumbling, keeping an impassive expression on my face. I've been a public figure for many years, with the corporation and as a Congresswoman. I know how to keep my feelings to myself, so that no-one can gossip about me. But the moment we enter the room I lose every shred of my self-control. I'm lying on the floor, shaking, crying. It's a good thing all the reporters are in another room and can't see this. My husband and my brother speak soothing words to me, trying to calm me down. They think I'm afraid of what's happening outside. They can't imagine the truth.
I keep my jaw tightly clenched shut, so that I will not start begging to be allowed to go back to the window and watch that funnel cloud growing closer and closer. It's not them; I desperately try to convince myself. It's just a tornado, nothing more. There are lots of tornados here in Kansas. It's not them, simply because this is the anniversary of that other storm, the one that marked the beginning of the happiest part of my life. It's not them. It's NOT them, coming for me, after all these years. Coming to take me home.
I haven't cried this hard since...
since September eighth, 1939.
(to be continued)