Being single is not necessarily a blessing, but it may very well be a fact of life. God does not owe anyone anything, and can therefore deny a person their heart's desire if He feels that it's not in their best interests. A person may also remain single because of how life is, and how fallible people are.
For my part, I believe that I will probably be single for the rest of my life. I don't like it, but it doesn't seem to be changing. Today is my twenty-seventh birthday, and I'm starting it off at a local diner, alone. When I was eighteen, I had complete faith that--by this point in my life--I would be married. Unfortunately, God doesn't seem to be much of a romantic, and He doesn't care about daydreams.
There are several reasons I will probably be single:
1. I am not as attractive as other men. I can that as a heterosexual male, because I recognize what is aesthetically pleasing to people. Every woman is different, of course, but I've yet to find more than a handful who don't appreciate a handsome face and a nice body on a man (and I've been told, in all honesty, that I'm not as attractive as my peers).
2. I am disabled. Whether we like it or not, human beings are picky (and when it comes to your future mate, you have a right to be). The downside for me is that most women I've talked to will pick an able-bodied knight in shining armor over one with chinks in his armor. The guys like me are often relegated to the "friend zone," as much as I hate that cliche. Women I know consistently tell me that I'm admirable; some have even said that I'm handsome (though I don't completely buy it). However, if they have a guy coming after them and he's able-bodied and attractive, they'll choose him. I don't blame them. If I was in their shoes, I'd be more hesitant to be with someone who is disabled. Heck, I'm disabled and I'm hesitant to date a disabled woman.
3. As you've probably gathered, I'm not mentally well. I have self-esteem issues, and I'm told that I come across as a negative person (especially on the issue of love). I started out as a hopeful, hopeless romantic, but I've become more grounded in my expectations. I stopped believing in soul mates, love at first sight, and the perfect relationship a long, long time ago. I keep my expectations reasonable, but that comes across as bitterness and negativity to many.
4. I am familiar with the taste of my own feet with a side of humble pie. Every time that I've had an opportunity to pursue a woman, I have inevitably admitted my feelings far too soon, or I have admitted my feelings at all (and of course, she--whoever it is at the time--has never felt the same way). I have a personality that is far too honest, and I can't help but wear my emotions on my sleeves. While it makes me a very open and typically approachable person initially, most women don't appreciate what they find, eventually.
5. Competition. The fact that I am a man in my (now late) twenties and single means that I typically pursue women a few years younger than myself (though not always). The end result is that I am typically forced to compete with men around my age for the affections of a woman. Nine times out of ten, those men are better than I am in many ways (i.e., they're more attractive, more financially stable, more physically fit, more consistent, and/or more mentally/emotionally stable). When it comes to competition, I am often forced out of the picture "with a quickness."
These facts contribute to the fact that I am single. Yes, it's miserable, but life has never been about my happiness (I don't care what the founding fathers of the United States said about the pursuit of happiness). Life is about serving God in the ways He would have us serve, and for some of us, that means a lifetime of suffering in loneliness.
I'm twenty-seven years old, and yes, I am weak. I cry myself to sleep more often than not, and I often wonder if I'm a drain to those around me. However, I keep breathing because I have a purpose, whether I like that purpose or not. The best I can do is learn the lessons God gives me to learn. Singleness for me is not a blessing, but a thorn to bear in my side for the greater glory of God.
That doesn't mean you have to like being single, or that you have to take crud for voicing your despair. Being single hurts, especially when you can more easily foresee it being a permanent condition despite your desires to the contrary. Nevertheless, our first priority is to seek the glory of God, and--if and/or when our heart's desire is in our best interests--God will give us that. If He isn't inclined to grant us our heart's desire, it's not going to happen.
For my part, I believe that I will probably be single for the rest of my life. I don't like it, but it doesn't seem to be changing. Today is my twenty-seventh birthday, and I'm starting it off at a local diner, alone. When I was eighteen, I had complete faith that--by this point in my life--I would be married. Unfortunately, God doesn't seem to be much of a romantic, and He doesn't care about daydreams.
There are several reasons I will probably be single:
1. I am not as attractive as other men. I can that as a heterosexual male, because I recognize what is aesthetically pleasing to people. Every woman is different, of course, but I've yet to find more than a handful who don't appreciate a handsome face and a nice body on a man (and I've been told, in all honesty, that I'm not as attractive as my peers).
2. I am disabled. Whether we like it or not, human beings are picky (and when it comes to your future mate, you have a right to be). The downside for me is that most women I've talked to will pick an able-bodied knight in shining armor over one with chinks in his armor. The guys like me are often relegated to the "friend zone," as much as I hate that cliche. Women I know consistently tell me that I'm admirable; some have even said that I'm handsome (though I don't completely buy it). However, if they have a guy coming after them and he's able-bodied and attractive, they'll choose him. I don't blame them. If I was in their shoes, I'd be more hesitant to be with someone who is disabled. Heck, I'm disabled and I'm hesitant to date a disabled woman.
3. As you've probably gathered, I'm not mentally well. I have self-esteem issues, and I'm told that I come across as a negative person (especially on the issue of love). I started out as a hopeful, hopeless romantic, but I've become more grounded in my expectations. I stopped believing in soul mates, love at first sight, and the perfect relationship a long, long time ago. I keep my expectations reasonable, but that comes across as bitterness and negativity to many.
4. I am familiar with the taste of my own feet with a side of humble pie. Every time that I've had an opportunity to pursue a woman, I have inevitably admitted my feelings far too soon, or I have admitted my feelings at all (and of course, she--whoever it is at the time--has never felt the same way). I have a personality that is far too honest, and I can't help but wear my emotions on my sleeves. While it makes me a very open and typically approachable person initially, most women don't appreciate what they find, eventually.
5. Competition. The fact that I am a man in my (now late) twenties and single means that I typically pursue women a few years younger than myself (though not always). The end result is that I am typically forced to compete with men around my age for the affections of a woman. Nine times out of ten, those men are better than I am in many ways (i.e., they're more attractive, more financially stable, more physically fit, more consistent, and/or more mentally/emotionally stable). When it comes to competition, I am often forced out of the picture "with a quickness."
These facts contribute to the fact that I am single. Yes, it's miserable, but life has never been about my happiness (I don't care what the founding fathers of the United States said about the pursuit of happiness). Life is about serving God in the ways He would have us serve, and for some of us, that means a lifetime of suffering in loneliness.
I'm twenty-seven years old, and yes, I am weak. I cry myself to sleep more often than not, and I often wonder if I'm a drain to those around me. However, I keep breathing because I have a purpose, whether I like that purpose or not. The best I can do is learn the lessons God gives me to learn. Singleness for me is not a blessing, but a thorn to bear in my side for the greater glory of God.
That doesn't mean you have to like being single, or that you have to take crud for voicing your despair. Being single hurts, especially when you can more easily foresee it being a permanent condition despite your desires to the contrary. Nevertheless, our first priority is to seek the glory of God, and--if and/or when our heart's desire is in our best interests--God will give us that. If He isn't inclined to grant us our heart's desire, it's not going to happen.
