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9 months widowed

MamaFlower

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I lost my husband 9 1/2 months ago in a motorcycle accident. We were married 5 years, I married young as I knew he was who God wanted me to be with, never did I think that at 25 years old I would be a widowed mother. My son was just 15 months old and LOVED his daddy so much. That is what breaks my heart the most....after the funeral I discovered that I was pregnant, my daughter was conceived only a day before the accident which is the crazy thing. She is just 4 weeks old and such a huge blessing to our family.

I dont really know why I am writing this to complete strangers to see, but thought that maybe someone else will relate or feel encouraged by our story of how God has blessed us with a new little life. He has provided for the needs of my children and kept me in good health throughout my pregnancy and the birth.

I still am finding it very hard to move on and live my life without him. He was an amazing man who loved God and was passionate about the truth, the world seems much more dim without him. I know it will take time to truly overcome this, but right now I cant imagine being with anyone else in the world. We were made for each other.
 

memoriesbymichelle

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Sometimes, as Widows/Widowers we need to talk and there really is no one that can understand except others that have had similar experiences. I never thought I would be a widow either and I thought I was a young widow at age 46 (now 52). What I did for my boys (they were 11 and 8) is that I had scrapbooks made for each of them. My day care person at the time was into scrapbooking so I got pictures of them with their dad at all stages and then they chose how to put it together. Because I didn't want them to forget their dad. It was great fun and healing for them. I realize your children are much younger but you could still put together a scrapbook or photo album of the life you and he had together for you and your children to look at periodically so they can kind of "know" their daddy and so your oldest can retain the memories. Just a thought. I sent my niece a photo album of pictures of me and my husband (way before he passed) because we had moved away and I didn't want her to forget us, and my SIL said that she would look at those pictures and say "uncle Mike or aunt Chelle" and knew where we lived (well she knew the name of the place) Washington and she was less than 2 years old at the time. She is in her twenties now and still remembers that album.
 
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MamaFlower

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Thank you for taking the time to reply. The scrapbook is a lovely idea :) I have a solid wooden chest that I keep some of my husbands things in such as his shoes, some clothing, wallet passports etc etc along with some pictures. I plan on making a board book with pictures in it of things about their dad 'daddy liked eating chicken'....'daddy loved to preach to people'.....'daddy always wore shorts, even in the winter'. I dont want little man to forget him, although even at his young age he still knows his dad's picture without me having to keep pointing to it and telling him. I know one day when he can talk he will ask me where his daddy went :-(
 
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memoriesbymichelle

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Thank you for taking the time to reply. The scrapbook is a lovely idea :) I have a solid wooden chest that I keep some of my husbands things in such as his shoes, some clothing, wallet passports etc etc along with some pictures. I plan on making a board book with pictures in it of things about their dad 'daddy liked eating chicken'....'daddy loved to preach to people'.....'daddy always wore shorts, even in the winter'. I dont want little man to forget him, although even at his young age he still knows his dad's picture without me having to keep pointing to it and telling him. I know one day when he can talk he will ask me where his daddy went :-(

Did you guys ever take any videos? Luckily for me we used to video the kids and family at Christmas time, so I have videos of those days with their dad on it. I'm mostly behind the camera but I am in some of the videos. It's still heartbreaking to watch but I'm glad to have him on video and be able to see him and hear him if I want.
 
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hopetoheal

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Dear MamaFlower,
I'm so sorry about your husband's tragic death. I will pray for you that you will be able to experience the joy of life and love again at the right time. I know that you will be able to find comfort in Jesus Christ's love. And, we are not as those who have no hope. You will see him again. And may his spirit be with you no matter where your life takes you.
 
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Christianwidow

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I lost my husband 9 1/2 months ago in a motorcycle accident. We were married 5 years, I married young as I knew he was who God wanted me to be with, never did I think that at 25 years old I would be a widowed mother. My son was just 15 months old and LOVED his daddy so much. That is what breaks my heart the most....after the funeral I discovered that I was pregnant, my daughter was conceived only a day before the accident which is the crazy thing. She is just 4 weeks old and such a huge blessing to our family.

I dont really know why I am writing this to complete strangers to see, but thought that maybe someone else will relate or feel encouraged by our story of how God has blessed us with a new little life. He has provided for the needs of my children and kept me in good health throughout my pregnancy and the birth.

I still am finding it very hard to move on and live my life without him. He was an amazing man who loved God and was passionate about the truth, the world seems much more dim without him. I know it will take time to truly overcome this, but right now I cant imagine being with anyone else in the world. We were made for each other.

Dear MamaFlower,
Such a beautiful testimony you have. I know the Lord will greatly use you in the lives of your children and others around you. It will be very hard for a long time, but with the grace of God and His mercy, you will get through it. You and your husband were one flesh, and because of that, your life as you once had, will be dim without him. Keep your thoughts on Christ Jesus and He will see you through. Your children, the heritage of the Lord, will be able to watch the living true God at work in their mommy's life.

Christian Widow
 
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Catherineanne

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I lost my husband 9 1/2 months ago in a motorcycle accident. We were married 5 years, I married young as I knew he was who God wanted me to be with, never did I think that at 25 years old I would be a widowed mother. My son was just 15 months old and LOVED his daddy so much. That is what breaks my heart the most....after the funeral I discovered that I was pregnant, my daughter was conceived only a day before the accident which is the crazy thing. She is just 4 weeks old and such a huge blessing to our family.

I dont really know why I am writing this to complete strangers to see, but thought that maybe someone else will relate or feel encouraged by our story of how God has blessed us with a new little life. He has provided for the needs of my children and kept me in good health throughout my pregnancy and the birth.

I still am finding it very hard to move on and live my life without him. He was an amazing man who loved God and was passionate about the truth, the world seems much more dim without him. I know it will take time to truly overcome this, but right now I cant imagine being with anyone else in the world. We were made for each other.

I am very sorry for your loss, but what a beautiful story about your little girl; it must be hard for you to know that she will never know her dad, but what a lovely gift to you and your son; such mingled joy and sadness at the same time.

God bless you and your family. :hug:
 
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Catherineanne

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Thank you for taking the time to reply. The scrapbook is a lovely idea :) I have a solid wooden chest that I keep some of my husbands things in such as his shoes, some clothing, wallet passports etc etc along with some pictures. I plan on making a board book with pictures in it of things about their dad 'daddy liked eating chicken'....'daddy loved to preach to people'.....'daddy always wore shorts, even in the winter'. I dont want little man to forget him, although even at his young age he still knows his dad's picture without me having to keep pointing to it and telling him. I know one day when he can talk he will ask me where his daddy went :-(

I have collected some things together for my daughter as well. She is old enough to remember her dad, of course, but I still think it is good to collect things together in a memory box.

I also bought a condolence book, and I ask friends and family to write messages for her, with some of their memories of her dad. Most are happy to.
 
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MamaFlower

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Thank you all for your kind words :) I miss him terribly sometimes, I miss him leading the family - I want to do him and God proud, but it is incredibly hard. My eldest has just turned 2 and was only beginning to get some kind of normality after his daddies death, and now he has a little sister taking mama's time and attention. Its another big adjustment for him and I need God's wisdom. Thank you all for your prayers and kind words. I sometimes feel like I can't grieve for him, I think the whole time I was pregnant it was very difficult to do so because I was scared that it would harm the baby if I got too sad.
 
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memoriesbymichelle

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Grieving is healthy.....even if your 2 year old sees. He is too young to verbalize the feelings he may also have inside. If he remembers his daddy, he needs to know it's OK to miss him and try to help him grasp a little bit of where he is now. Otherwise you can grieve when they are sleeping. It is very hard to move on, but your husband would want you to for the kids sake. Of course God wants you to also, and He is with you and will protect you and guide you if you ask Him to. It does get better with time. Never back to normal because how can it? You are very young to be a widow so maybe in time you will be able to love again. In the mean time, lean on God, He is there for you. :hug::hug::hug:
 
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