- Feb 5, 2002
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If you’ve never heard the agony of a doubter and despair of a near apostate, I would like to provide you a glimpse. In 2013, I received an email from Jane [a pseudonym], a teenage girl in the final stages of doubt — marked by depression, despair, and nearly ready to depart. Here’s what she wrote:
Continued below.
Can you sense her agony, emptiness, confusion, and split mind? Of course, I responded, but unfortunately, I never heard back. And many times, I’ve wondered how Jane turned out.Hello Bobby, my name is Jane Doe. I’m a 17-year-old Christian. I’ve been a Christian for many years. I’ve always had God inside of me keeping me comforted. There’s always been that comfort inside of me. But lately, I’ve been in what I would call a “crisis of belief.” Lately, I’ve been having doubts in my head about the Bible and what it says. For example: How’s it physically possible for one to rise from the dead? Is it really God or is it all in my head? Why isn’t God there to help me when I really need Him? Doesn’t the Bible have Scripture saying that He will help? Sometimes the doubts are statements that electrocute my mind and belief, such as: “You’re wasting your time.” Or “You’re believing a fantasy,” and “It’s only a part of your brain that makes you believe.”
…But it’s not like I want to believe these doubts. Because when I think of them, something burns in my heart and mind. My depression begins to act up badly. Lately, I’ve had many anxiety attacks about it along with other stress. It’s not helpful when atheists surround me in my school too. There really aren’t many people I can ask for help. So, I’m asking you. What do I do? Because I’m scared to say I’m lost.
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