5 year old's curiosity

[potopaj]

I got a frantic call from my wife saying that our 5 year old was peeking in as she dressed. I know this was more of a curiosity thing, rather than something more peverted, but how do I deal with this? I want my son to be open as he gets older to talking about these types of things, but cannot have him doing this.

He's recently noticed the differences between boys and girls and I think this is where it's coming from.

Is this normal? how have other's dealt with this?

 

[Tangnefedd]

This is totally normal, I don't see the problem? Most parents bath and shower with babies and toddlers, so it is not a novel experience for them. Judging by your reaction I am concerned that you are turning a very normal curiosity into something your son should be ashamed of, this is worrying.

 

[lucypevensie]

It's normal. You might want to get some books from your Christian bookstore on the subject of where babies come from. There's a series of books that are graduated for different ages and levels of understanding, can't think of the name of it right now but I bet you could ask and they'll have it or something similar. We still have book 1 at our house.

Beyond that, you might begin explaining to him the importance of giving people privacy when they are un/dressing or using the bathroom, taking a bath or whatever. Make sure you encourage him to ask questions. It's good to know this stuff and it's best to get used to talking about certain things when they're young and unashamed than when they're pre-teen and totally embarrassed to talk about it. Of course, keep the info simple, they don't need to know it ALL. The books should help in that regard.

 

[Tangnefedd]

I told my children in words they could understand the facts of life as soon as they asked me questions about it. I believe in being totally honest and upfront with kids about everything. Because we dealt with all this while they were very young, there was no embarrassment. As teenagers they knew they could talk to us about all aspects of sexuality and get a straight answer.

 

[~PICKLE~]

Normal, my 4 year old is fasinated with my twins (boosom), before and after our newborn got here. Also with my rear too! I once took a child class that said you should start teaching your kids about the nature of sex and the human body about 4 or 5. I'm not sure if I agree with that just yet.

 

[Reformationist]

I got a frantic call from my wife saying that our 5 year old was peeking in as she dressed. I know this was more of a curiosity thing, rather than something more peverted, but how do I deal with this? I want my son to be open as he gets older to talking about these types of things, but cannot have him doing this.

He's recently noticed the differences between boys and girls and I think this is where it's coming from.

Is this normal? how have other's dealt with this?

LOL! It's absolutely normal. Don't sweat it. My wife and I just don't make a huge deal out of it if they see us and try to be as open and honest as possible with age appropriate explanations. I also think this would be a good time to teach him to respect other people's privacy. Just because the human body is nothing to be ashamed of doesn't mean there aren't inappropriate levels of curiosity for a 5 year old.

As I said, openness and honesty is your best way to combat their curiousness. The more hidden it is the more intrigued they'll be. That doesn't mean you need to walk around your house naked. It just means that if you don't make a huge deal out of the nudity then, after the novelty of curious recognition wears off, your son won't either.

That is how it will be until, of course, puberty. And then, well, good luck is all I can say.

God bless

 

[clairysage]

I got a frantic call from my wife saying that our 5 year old was peeking in as she dressed.

I would be interested to know how your wife normally gets dressed! I can't imagine how I would get dressed in the morning if it bothered me that my children saw!! They're always in our bedroom first thing in the morning, and I can't imagine telling them to go away when I'm getting dressed! I have a five year old son, and a 19 month old daughter, and while I don't deliberately wander round the house naked (far too cold for that anyway!), I have never covered myself up on their account. They're my children - flesh of my flesh - I am just not embarassed in front of them. I see them naked all the time when I dress them or bath them - what's the difference if they see me naked!?

Anyway - sorry that I disagree with you it seems on this point. However, if it really bothers your wife, then you will all need to accept this and make decisions based on this. Some people just have different attitudes to their bodies, and their privacy. Perhaps explaining to your son that you realise that bodies are very interesting things and you appreciate that he wants to learn about them, but Mummy just feels uncomfortable with him peeking. Perhaps you could look at a book with him about bodies and things - I'm sure there are books out there aimed at his age group. I do believe that honesty and openness are the best policy with these things.

 

[Momzilla]

I wouldn't fret too much about it. My older son is 3 1/2, and we don't really worry about him being around when we dress, use the potty, etc. At five, however, your son is old enough to start learning about privacy and respecting others' boundaries. You can do that without teaching him to be ashamed about naked bodies, though. Just explain to him that mommy prefers to be alone when she gets dressed, that it's her "private mommy time". If he asks why (he may not), just say something like "it's just how mommy likes it." Totally neutral, but yet teaches him that he needs to respect your need for privacy.

 

[Tangnefedd]

I didn't worry about my girls seeing me in the nude, although I never flaunted myself in front of them. My husband would bath with them until they got interested in his dangly bits, then decided they were a bit old. My son has DS and although I would change in front of him up to the age of about three, I would cover up after that, but if he did happen to wander into the bedroom when I was undressed, I didn't have a fit of the vapours. My husband covers up if our adult daughters are at home, but has no problem wandering around naked in front of our son, who is now 19, but of course men don't usually have a problem of being all boys together, do they?

 

[HeatherJay]

I have 2 girls and they see me getting dressed or taking a shower all the time. My husband bathed with them up until about a year or so ago. Now they don't see him completely naked very often, unless they wander while he's showering...and if they do, we don't even make an issue about it. My oldest is 5 and she knows boys and girls are different and she has, in the past, asked questions about those differences. We just answer her questions and make it a non-issue. The only thing we've made an issue about is touching. She knows that her private places are not for anyone else to touch.

Honestly, this was never an issue for us...probably because we never MADE it an issue. I think the last thing you should do is make your son feel as though he did something wrong. He's curious, as all children are...and he did absolutely nothing abnormal by peeking at his mother. He's sneaking and peeking because he doesn't feel comfortable asking questions about this subject.

Love, Heather

 

[karla]

I agree with all of the posters, it's really not a big deal and it totally normal. I am pretty open with the kids (actually my daughter, my son is still alittle too young to have questions). I never shy away from a question and answer her in words that she can understand. Answer questions with the most basic information and then if it not enough for them then they will ask more. We use the proper terms in our home with the kids and our daughter is aware of the differences between boys and girls. I think that it is important to open with them so that when they are older and really have serious questions then they aren't afraid to come to you.

 

[Evening Mist]

Completely normal. I'm curious about how she manages to get dressed alone too! I haven't had the privlage of privacy in years. If it isn't one of the kids barging in, then its the dog!

We are typically very open around here about changing in front of each other. I started being more careful around my older son when I noticed him turning away or looking embarassed. I was trying to follow his cues about it -- and at this point he definately stays out while I dress. But my 3 yo. still sits on the bed while I change.

He is 7, and is currently learning the "facts" -- starting with some basic information about animal reproduction and moving the conversation on to human reproduction. He's taking it very much in stride -- very sweetly and innocently studious and curious about it. Yesterday we were wandering a store, and he suddenly piped up saying, "Mom, isn't it interesting how ovaries work?" I had to seriously stifle the giggling I felt welling up in my throat, and address him with the same up front nature that he addressed me!

 

[Tangnefedd]

It is so much easier to talk to a younger child about the facts of life than it is to talk to one who is older. My mum waited until I was eleven before she told me about periods, then she asked me if I knew where babies came from. I had heard playground gossip, and had a vague idea so said I did and hurried out of the room. The subject was never brought up again. I don't know who was more embarrassed, my mum or myself. I was so determined to have that conversation with my children just as soon as they asked questions.

 

[Zoomer]

I agree- normal and not a big deal. My children shower with me and I never have privacy while in the bathroom.
I think hiding and evading make it an issue. If you want him to be open when he is older and not hide things from you, I'd change the way you are acting towards this.